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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with the Monkey"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:08,998
All right! You guys,
it's starting to snow.

2
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:14,007
And look, Ugly Naked Guy
is hanging candy canes.

3
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,442
Where?

4
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,145
Oh. Well.

5
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,411
That's festive.

6
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:27,014
Guys, there's somebody
I'd like you to meet.

7
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,325
Wait, wait. What is that?

8
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,523
-That's Marcel. Wanna say hi?
-No, I don't.

9
00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:39,262
-He's cute! Where'd you get him?
-My friend Bethel saved him from a lab.

10
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:40,837
That is so cruel.

11
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,272
Why would a parent
name their child Bethel?

12
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,245
That monkey's got a Ross on his ass.

13
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,622
Is he gonna live with you
in your apartment?

14
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,917
Yeah. It's been kind of quiet
since Carol left.

15
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,091
Why not get a roommate?

16
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:08,427
You reach a certain age, having
a roommate is just kind of pathet

17
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:15,404
That's " pathet. " Sanskrit for
" really cool way to live. "

18
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,003
The One With the Monkey

19
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,256
I' m doing new material tonight.

20
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:12,090
I have 1 2 songs about my mother's
suicide and one about a snowman.

21
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,930
You might wanna open with the snowman.

22
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,402
-Hi, Joey.
-Hey, buddy.

23
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:24,703
-So how'd it go?
-I didn't get the job.

24
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,647
How could you not?
You were Santa last year.

25
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:33,777
Some fat guy's sleeping
with the store manager.

26
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,921
He's not even jolly.
It's all political.

27
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,423
-What are you gonna be?
-One of his helpers.

28
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,620
It's just such a slap in the face,
you know?

29
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,130
Do you know what you' re doing
for New Year's?

30
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,165
Hey, what?
What is wrong with New Year's?

31
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:56,638
You have Paolo. You don't have
to face the pressure...

32
00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,869
...of finding lips to kiss
when the ball drops!

33
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,809
Man, I'm talking loud!

34
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,876
Paolo's gonna be in Rome
this New Year's.

35
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:12,114
-I'll be just as pathetic as you.
-Yeah, you wish.

36
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,054
I've got an idea. Dinner.

37
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:20,130
It's perfect. We'll put it between
lunch and breakfast.

38
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:25,567
I'm sick of being a victim
of this Dick Clark holiday.

39
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:30,004
I say this year, we make a pact.
Just the six of us. Dinner.

40
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,541
-Sure.
-Fine.

41
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:34,177
I was hoping for more enthusiasm.

42
00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:39,484
-Phoebe, you' re on.
-Oh, good.

43
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:43,450
Hi. Ladies and gentlemen,
back by popular demand...

44
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,851
... Miss Phoebe Buffay.

45
00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,593
Hi. Thanks. Hi.

46
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:56,298
I wanna start with a song
that means a lot to me.

47
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,801
I made a man with eyes of coal

48
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,275
And a smile so bewitching

49
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,473
How was I supposed to know

50
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,618
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?

51
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,093
My mother's ashes

52
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,532
Even her eyelashes

53
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:33,863
Are resting in a little yellow jar

54
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,242
And sometimes when it's freezing

55
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:42,211
I feel a little sneezy

56
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:47,545
And now I Excuse me?
Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys.

57
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,988
Is it something you'd like
to share with the group?

58
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,618
No. No, that's okay.

59
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,764
If it's important enough
while I'm playing...

60
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,163
...it's important enough
for everyone else.

61
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,031
That guy's going home with a note.

62
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,807
-I was just saying
-Speak up.

63
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,139
Sorry, l

64
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:20,585
I was saying you were the most
beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

65
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,982
And he said that Daryl Hannah...

66
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,522
...was the most beautiful woman
he'd ever seen.

67
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,923
I said I liked her in Splash,
but not Wall Street.

68
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:33,121
I thought she had a hard quality.

69
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,466
While Daryl is beautiful
in a conventional way...

70
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,231
...you are luminous
with a kind of delicate grace.

71
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,870
Then that's when you started yelling.

72
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,951
We're gonna take a short break.

73
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,288
That guy's going home
with more than a note.

74
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,865
Come here, Marcel. Sit here.

75
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,976
I can't believe he hasn't
kissed you yet.

76
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:22,807
By my sixth date with Paolo,
he'd already named both my breasts.

77
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,651
Did I just share too much?

78
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,786
Just a smidge.

79
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:36,087
David's, like, a scientist guy.
He's very methodical.

80
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,354
-I think it's romantic.
-Me too!

81
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,125
Did you ever see
An Officer and a Gentleman?

82
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,964
He's kind of like the guy
I went to see that with.

83
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:55,041
Except he's smarter and gentler
and sweeter.

84
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,481
I just wanna be with him all the time.

85
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:02,118
You know, day and night.
And night and day.

86
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,983
And special occasions.

87
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:10,218
I see. You're gonna ask him
to New Year's.

88
00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:14,557
-She's gonna break the pact.
-No! No, no.

89
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,894
No. Yeah, could I just?

90
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,505
-Yeah. I already asked Janice.
-What?

91
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,438
This was a pact! This was your pact!

92
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,273
I couldn't handle the pressure.
I snapped!

93
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,507
But that was the worst breakup
in history!

94
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:35,153
I'm not saying it was a good idea.
I snapped!

95
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,219
Hi, sorry I'm late.

96
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,732
Too many jokes.

97
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,535
Must mock Joey.

98
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,065
Nice shoes, huh?

99
00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,741
God, you're killing me!

100
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:05,046
Ross, he's playing
with my spatulas again!

101
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:09,984
-He's not gonna hurt them, right?
-Do you always have to bring him?

102
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:16,193
I didn't wanna leave him alone.
We had our first fight this morning.

103
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:23,064
It has to do with my working late.
I said some things that I didn't mean.

104
00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:27,305
He threw some feces.

105
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,536
If you're working late,
I can look in on him.

106
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,407
That would be great!

107
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:39,547
But make sure it seems
like you're there to see him.

108
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,811
You're not doing it for me.

109
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,047
Okay. But if he asks,
I'm not going to lie.

110
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,157
But you can't actually
test this theory.

111
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:58,463
T oday's particle accelerators
aren't powerful enough...

112
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:03,003
-...to simulate these conditions.
-I have a question then.

113
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,871
-Yeah?
-Do you plan on kissing me ever?

114
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:14,444
That's definitely a valid question,
and the answer...

115
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:18,349
...would be yes. Yes, I was.

116
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,092
But I wanted it to be
this phenomenal kiss...

117
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,530
...at a phenomenal moment
because it's you.

118
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,827
Sure.

119
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:35,030
The longer I waited, the more
phenomenal the kiss had to be.

120
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:39,268
Now, it's just gotta be
one of those things where l...

121
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,605
...sweep everything off the table.

122
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:45,613
And I'm not really
a sweeping sort of fella.

123
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,945
David, I think you are
a sweeping sort of fella.

124
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:54,422
I mean, you're a sweeper
trapped inside a physicist's body.

125
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:56,928
-Really?
-I'm sure.

126
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,064
You should just do it. Just throw me.

127
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,767
-Now?
-Yeah, right now. Just....

128
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,872
Okay. Okay. Okay.

129
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:13,337
You know what?
This is really expensive.

130
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,648
And this was a gift.

131
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,752
-Now you' re just tidying up.
-Okay.

132
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,116
-You want me to throw you?
-I can hop.

133
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:48,571
T ell me something, what does
" no-date pact" mean to you?

134
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,615
It's just that Chandler
and Phoebe have somebody.

135
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,820
I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.

136
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,114
-Your ex-boyfriend?
-Yeah.

137
00:10:57,456 --> 00:11:02,018
-You know more than one Fun Bobby?
-I happen to know a Fun Bob.

138
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:08,457
-Okay. Here we go.
-There's no room for milk.

139
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,966
There. Now there is.

140
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:20,611
So on our no-date evening,
three of you now have dates.

141
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,446
-Four.
-Five.

142
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,945
Sorry. Paolo's catching
an earlier flight.

143
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:30,520
And I met this really hot
single mom at the store.

144
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,815
What's an elf to do?

145
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:37,926
So I'll be the only one alone
when the ball drops?

146
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:42,395
We'll have a big party,
and no one will know who's with who.

147
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:46,537
I'll know. This is so not
what I needed right now.

148
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:49,139
-What's the matter?
-Oh, it's Marcel.

149
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:56,680
He's angry with me. I have
no idea why. He keeps shutting me out.

150
00:11:56,882 --> 00:12:00,545
He's walking around all the time,
dragging his hands.

151
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,280
That's weird.
I had a blast with him.

152
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,481
-Really?
-We played, watched TV.

153
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,217
That juggling thing is amazing.

154
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,189
What juggling thing?

155
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,892
With the socks?
I figured you taught him that.

156
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:19,864
No.

157
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,169
It wasn't that big a deal.
Just socks. And a melon.

158
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,909
-Phoebe!
-Max. Do you know everybody?

159
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,678
No. Have you seen David?

160
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:36,811
He hasn't been around.

161
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:40,981
If you see him, tell him to pack.
We are going to Minsk.

162
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,753
-Minsk?
-Minsk. It's in Russia.

163
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,822
I know where Minsk is.

164
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:52,169
We got the grant.
Three years, all expenses paid.

165
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,807
And if you're gonna do Minsk,
that's the way to go.

166
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,200
-So when do you leave?
-January 1 st.

167
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:12,022
-Hello?
-What? Hey. Hi.

168
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:15,819
-What are you doing here?
-Max told me about Minsk.

169
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,826
Congratulations! This is so exciting!

170
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:23,168
It'd be even more exciting
if we were going.

171
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,065
Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?

172
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,264
T ell her. " I don't wanna go...

173
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,740
...to work with Lipson,
Yamaguchi and Flank.

174
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,210
I wanna stay and make out
with my girlfriend! "

175
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,009
Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you.

176
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,387
So you're really not going?

177
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:45,716
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I just....

178
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,621
How can I leave you?
I just found you.

179
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,389
Oh, David. But what are you gonna do?

180
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,065
I don't know. You decide.

181
00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,102
-Don't do that.
-But l' m asking you.

182
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:03,935
-I can't make a decision. Just
-Okay. Stay.

183
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,712
-Stay.
-Stay.

184
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,088
Getting so good at that!

185
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,484
It was Max's stuff.

186
00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,165
I love this artichoke thing.

187
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:35,829
Don't tell me what's in it.
The diet starts tomorrow.

188
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,677
You remember Janice.

189
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,444
Vividly.

190
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:49,682
-How are you?
-I am fantastic.

191
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,947
Now.

192
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,289
It's amazing. We've been back
together for what...

193
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:59,328
-...Iike 1 0 minutes, and
-ls that all?

194
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,658
It's like we were never apart.

195
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,438
Of course, we were, but
Forgive and forget.

196
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,164
Well, forget.

197
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,285
-Hi.
-Hi, l' m Sandy.

198
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,717
Sandy, hi. Come on in.

199
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:37,996
-You brought your kids.
-Yeah. That's okay, right?

200
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:44,439
-Party!
-That thing is not coming in here!

201
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,168
This is how you greet guests?

202
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:52,043
If I showed up with my new girlfriend,
she wouldn't be welcome?

203
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:56,645
Your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate
on my coffee table.

204
00:15:56,855 --> 00:16:00,188
He was more embarrassed
about that than anyone.

205
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:06,361
And for him to have the courage
to walk back in here...

206
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:08,192
...Iike nothing happened

207
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,365
All right. All right.
Just keep him away from me.

208
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,868
Thank you. Come on, Marcel.

209
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,775
What do you say you and I mingle?

210
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:23,278
All right, I'll catch up
with you later.

211
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:33,455
Oh, my gosh!
Rachel, honey, are you okay?

212
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:38,663
-Where's Paolo?
-Rome. Jerk missed his flight.

213
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:41,395
And then your face exploded?

214
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,063
No.

215
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:48,503
Okay. I was at the airport
getting into a cab...

216
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:53,678
...when this woman, this blond
planet with a pocketbook...

217
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:58,145
...starts yelling. Something
about how it was her cab first.

218
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,446
The next thing, she just
starts pulling me out by my hair!

219
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,555
And I was blowing my attack
whistle thingy...

220
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,318
...and three more cabs show up.

221
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:13,157
So as I'm going to get into a cab,
she tackles me!

222
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:18,764
And I hit my head on the curb
and cut my lip on my whistle.

223
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,873
Everybody having fun at the party?

224
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,539
-Are people eating my dip?
-Yes.

225
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,253
There.

226
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:41,051
-That looks okay, right?
-You went a bit wide on the lipstick.

227
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,728
-Oh, I did?
-Yeah.

228
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:47,626
It's hard for me to tell.
My eye's closing up.

229
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,801
Let me get it for you.

230
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,300
-Ow!
-Okay.

231
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:54,734
You know what? It looks fine.

232
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,706
Okay, here we go.

233
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:02,104
Screw Paolo,
screw the psycho cab lady.

234
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,249
It's New Year's Eve.
Let's have a good time.

235
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,112
-Okay, here we go.
-Okay.

236
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:10,288
All right, there you go. This way.

237
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,117
Here you go.

238
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,987
When I saw you at the store
last week...

239
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:24,068
...it was the first time
I ever mentally undressed an elf.

240
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:30,365
-Wow, that's dirty.
-Yeah.

241
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,502
Hey, kids.

242
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:40,774
He doesn't have to spend
the whole evening with me...

243
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,782
... but at least check in.

244
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,123
There you are!

245
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,287
You got away from me.

246
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:54,657
-But you found me.
-Here, Ross, take our picture.

247
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,268
Smile. You' re on Janice Camera.

248
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,800
Kill me. Kill me now.

249
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,541
Hi, l' m Rachel.

250
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,181
So whose friend are you?

251
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,214
Look at me, spilling everywhere.

252
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,789
Everybody, it's Fun Bobby!

253
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,566
Hey, sorry I'm late.
But my grandfather...

254
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,598
...died about two hours ago.

255
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:36,468
But I couldn't get a flight
out till tomorrow, so here I am.

256
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:42,437
Hey, Fun Bobby! How's it going, man?
Whoa! Who died?

257
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,620
It's gonna be an open casket,
you know?

258
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,623
So at least I'll get to see him again.

259
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,960
Bobby? Fun Bobby?

260
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,400
Let me talk to you for just a sec.

261
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,361
I recently lost
a grandparent myself...

262
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,599
...so I really know exactly
how you feel.

263
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,778
But you' re really bringing
the party down.

264
00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:17,311
-l' m sorry.
-Yeah, yeah, okay.

265
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,675
There you go. There you go.

266
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,823
I' m gonna blow this one up
and write " Reunited " in glitter.

267
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,959
All right, Janice, that's it!

268
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,755
Janice. Janice.

269
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:36,697
Hey, Janice, when I invited you,
I didn't think it meant

270
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,199
Oh, no!

271
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,675
I' m sorry you misunderstood.

272
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,274
You listen to me!
You listen to me!

273
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:53,280
One of these times, it's just gonna be
your last chance with me!

274
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,154
Will you give me the thing?

275
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:03,259
-Hi, Max.
-Yoko.

276
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:11,632
I've decided to go to Minsk
without you.

277
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,469
-Wow.
-lt won't be the same...

278
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,971
... but it will still be Minsk.
Happy New Year.

279
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:25,311
-Are you all right?
-Yeah, l' m fine. I' m fine.

280
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,247
Come on.

281
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:38,525
-You' re going to Minsk.
-No, l' m not going to Minsk.

282
00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:40,391
You are so going to Minsk.

283
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:44,568
You belong in Minsk.
You can't stay here just for me.

284
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,466
If I go, I have to break up with you.

285
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:50,665
-And I can't break up with you.
-Yes, you can.

286
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:55,245
Just say, " Phoebe, I love you,
but my work is my life.

287
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,175
That's what I have to do. "

288
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:01,113
And I say, "Your work?
How can you say that? "

289
00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:07,620
Then you say, " I have no choice.
Can't you understand that? "

290
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:11,887
And I say, " No! No!
I can't understand that! "

291
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:13,655
-Ow.
-Sorry.

292
00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:18,097
And then you put
your arms around me.

293
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,904
-Then you put your arms around me.
-Oh, sorry.

294
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:27,236
And then you tell me you love me
and you'll never forget me.

295
00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:29,710
I'll never forget you.

296
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:33,811
Then you say that you have to go...

297
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:38,820
... because you don't wanna start the
year with me if you can't finish it.

298
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,792
I' m gonna miss you,
you scientist guy.

299
00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:53,227
Hi, Dick Clark in Times Square.

300
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:58,273
We're in a virtual snowstorm
of confetti here in Times Square.

301
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,238
It gets better every....

302
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,605
Here you go, kids.

303
00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:05,647
And then the peacock bit me.

304
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,316
Please kiss me at midnight!

305
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:16,950
-You seen Sandy?
-I don't know how to tell you this...

306
00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:21,427
... but she's in the bedroom
getting it on with Max.

307
00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:23,999
Oh, I did know how to tell you.

308
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:28,766
-Hey, everybody, the ball is dropping.
-What?

309
00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,700
The ball is dropping!

310
00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:36,706
In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.

311
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,611
And the moment of joy is upon us.

312
00:23:40,218 --> 00:23:43,119
Looks like that no-date pact
worked out.

313
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:46,056
Everybody looks so happy.
I hate that!

314
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,556
Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby!

315
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,456
four, three, two...

316
00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:54,496
...one! Happy New Year!

317
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:59,834
I thought I'd throw this out.
I' m no math whiz...

318
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:05,101
... but I do believe there are
three girls and three guys right here.

319
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,075
I don't feel like kissing
anyone tonight.

320
00:24:09,347 --> 00:24:13,147
-I can't kiss anyone.
-So, I'm kissing everyone?

321
00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:17,116
No, you can't kiss Ross.
That's your brother.

322
00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,916
So now everybody's
getting kissed but me.

323
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,319
Somebody kiss me.

324
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,360
Somebody kiss me! It's midnight!
Somebody kiss me!

325
00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,497
All right! All right!

326
00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:29,498
There!

327
00:24:35,941 --> 00:24:38,501
I wanted this to work so much.

328
00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:40,906
I'm still in there.

329
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,172
Changing his diapers.
Picking his fleas.

330
00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:47,183
But he's just phoning it in.

331
00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:54,153
It's hard that something you love
so much doesn't love you back.

332
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,453
I think that bitch cracked my tooth.