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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with the Fake Monica"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,730
Mother, just once,
can we go to lunch...

2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:08,806
...and not talk about what I'm wearing
or where my career is going?

3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,170
Or who I'm dating.

4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,936
-Ready for the check?
-God, yes.

5
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:15,978
-I'll take it.
-No, darling.

6
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:21,017
I said I'll take it.
Here, take it. Go. Run.

7
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,751
Very sweet.

8
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,118
-And on what they pay you
-Career.

9
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:31,288
You don't have to worry about me.
I'm doing fine.

10
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,523
I'm afraid this has been denied.

11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,858
That's impossible.

12
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:39,368
That's all right, dear.
Here you go.

13
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,903
The One With The Fake Monica

14
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:32,287
How'd someone get your card number?

15
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,858
No idea.
Look how much they spent.

16
00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:38,792
You only have to pay
for the stuff you bought.

17
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,728
Still, it's just
such reckless spending.

18
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,868
When somebody steals...

19
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,004
...they've already thrown caution
to the wind.

20
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:54,012
Wow, what a geek.
They spent $69. 95 on a Wonder Mop.

21
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,810
That's me.

22
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,912
You see, when I say geek, I mean

23
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:07,219
The hell with it, you bought
a $70 mop, you're a geek.

24
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:12,155
Oh, yuck. Ross, he's doing it again.

25
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,458
Marcel, stop humping the lamp.

26
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:18,330
Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come
Come here, Marcel.

27
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:21,336
Oh, no. Not in my room.
I'll get him.

28
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:24,032
You've got to do something about that.

29
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,303
What? It's just a phase.

30
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:29,306
Well, that's what we said about Joey.

31
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,177
You'd think you would be
more understanding.

32
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,287
I know. But we're not.

33
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,883
Would you all relax?
It's not that big a deal.

34
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,859
-Marcel, stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey.
-What?

35
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,822
Let's say my Curious George
is no longer curious.

36
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:59,109
You are not still
going over that thing.

37
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,076
-This woman's living my life.
-What?

38
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:06,151
She's living my life,
and she's doing it better than me.

39
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:11,381
Look at this. Look. She buys tickets
to plays I wanna see.

40
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:15,319
She shops where
I'm afraid of the salespeople.

41
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:19,328
-She spent $300 on art supplies.
-You're not an artist.

42
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,763
I might be if I had the supplies.

43
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:27,530
I mean, I could do all this stuff.
Only I don't.

44
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:30,575
Oh, Monica, come on.
You do cool things.

45
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,075
Really? Let's compare, shall we?

46
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,180
Oh, it's so late for "shall we."

47
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,478
Do I horseback ride in the park?

48
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:43,816
-Do I take classes at the New School?
-No.

49
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:49,359
She's got everything I want,
and she doesn't have my mother.

50
00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:01,834
-How about Joey Paponi?
-No, still too ethnic.

51
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:06,375
-My agent wants a more neutral name.
-Joey Switzerland?

52
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:17,016
Plus, I think it should be Joe.
Joey makes me sound like I'm this big:

53
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,382
Which I'm not.

54
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:24,293
Joe, Joe, Joe Stalin?

55
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,394
Stalin.

56
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,128
Do I know that name?
It sounds familiar.

57
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:34,238
Well, it does not
ring a bell with me.

58
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:38,569
But you're more plugged
into that show business thing.

59
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,804
Joe Stalin.

60
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,948
You know, that's pretty good.

61
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,644
You might wanna try Joseph.

62
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,789
Joseph Stalin.

63
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,362
-I think you'd remember that.
-Yes.

64
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,796
Bye Bye Birdie,
starring Joseph Stalin.

65
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,474
Joseph Stalin is
the Fiddler on the Roof.

66
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,315
Hi. Yes, this is Monica Geller.

67
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:29,962
I'm taking some classes with you,
and I was wondering what they were.

68
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:34,190
I've had a recent head injury
and certain numbers

69
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:40,100
Barbecue. Oh, did l?
See, there you go.

70
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,300
-What are you doing?
-All right, great.

71
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:48,446
Great. Thanks a lot.
I'm going to tap class.

72
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,776
To dance with the woman
that stole your card?

73
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,747
To see what she looks like.

74
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:56,615
I'm sure her picture's up
at the post office.

75
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,348
I should get to see who she is.

76
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:04,519
You're kind of losing it here.
This is becoming a weird obsession.

77
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,926
This is madness, I tell you.

78
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,159
For the love of God, Monica,
don't do it.

79
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,964
Thank you.

80
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,211
-What do you think?
-Lots of things.

81
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:29,151
-Which one is she?
-May I help you?

82
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:32,188
No, thanks. We're
just here to observe.

83
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:36,226
You don't observe a dance class.
You dance a dance class.

84
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,657
Spare shoes are over there.

85
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,328
What does she mean?

86
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:46,266
I think she means
"You dance a dance class."

87
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,407
-Come on, come on, come on.
-Really?

88
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:53,070
Do you see anybody
you think could be me?

89
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:57,976
Last time there were yogurt
containers lying around after class.

90
00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:02,449
-Let's not have that happen again.
-She could be you.

91
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,420
Let's get started.

92
00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:12,493
Five, six.
Five, six, seven, eight.

93
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:22,436
-Okay, I'm not getting this.
-I'm totally getting it.

94
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:30,743
Do you ever feel like you're
so uncoordinated?

95
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,818
What? You click when they click.

96
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,153
All right, everyone grab a partner.

97
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:51,993
All right. And my dead mother
said you are it. I'm with Rachel.

98
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:55,099
Great, it's gym class all over again.

99
00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:01,177
You can come up to the front
and dance with me.

100
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,940
Why don't I just take off my clothes
and have a nightmare?

101
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:15,285
It's okay, it's okay. I'm here,
I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late.

102
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:19,521
Okay, here I am.
So who's the new tense girl?

103
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,163
-She's your partner.
-Hi, I'm Monica.

104
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,802
Oh, Monica.

105
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:30,298
Hi, I'm Mon

106
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,341
-Nana.
-Monana.

107
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,781
-It's Dutch.
-You're kidding.

108
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,508
I spent three years in Amsterdam.

109
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,554
Pennsylvania Dutch.

110
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:51,220
And we're dancing.
Five, six, seven, eight.

111
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,399
Hi.

112
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:06,275
-Hey. Where have you been?
-I just got back from the vet.

113
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:10,347
She's not gonna make you wear
a big plastic cone?

114
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:16,144
She says Marcel's humping
is not a phase.

115
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:19,619
Apparently, he's reached
sexual maturity.

116
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:22,619
Hey, he beat you.

117
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:31,463
She says, as time goes on,
he's gonna start getting violent.

118
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:34,102
So, what does this mean?

119
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,968
I have to give him up.

120
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,492
I can't believe it. This sucks.

121
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:58,152
You just got him.
How could he be an adult already?

122
00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:01,525
I know. One day he's
this little thing...

123
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:06,899
...and then he's this little thing
I can't get off my leg.

124
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,242
Isn't there any way to keep him?

125
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,345
No. The vet said
unless he's in a place...

126
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,014
...where he has regular access...

127
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,978
...to some monkey loving...

128
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,080
... he's just gonna get vicious.

129
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,018
I just gotta get him into a zoo.

130
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:31,863
-How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
-I know.

131
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:38,136
No, that's popes into a Vokswagen.

132
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:44,708
We're applying to a lot. Our first
choice would be a big state zoo.

133
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:48,778
You know, like San Diego. Right?

134
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:53,710
But that may just be a pipe dream.
He's out-of-state.

135
00:10:55,955 --> 00:11:00,289
My vet knows someone at Miami,
so that's a possibility.

136
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:05,259
But that's two blocks from the beach.
It's a total party zoo.

137
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,263
We found the girl.

138
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:15,406
-Did you call the cops?
-We took her to lunch.

139
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:19,305
Oh, your own brand
of vigilante justice.

140
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,775
Are you insane?
This woman stole from you.

141
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,416
She stole. She's a stealer.

142
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:30,879
After you're with this woman
for 10 minutes, you forget that.

143
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:36,123
I mean, she's this astounding person
with this amazing spirit.

144
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:39,491
Which she probably stole
from some cheerleader.

145
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:45,268
-Take off their hats.
-Popes in a Vokswagen.

146
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,403
I love that joke.

147
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:57,811
-No way. No way did you do this.
-Monana was very brave.

148
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:02,745
We told them we were
the Gundersons in room 61 5...

149
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:07,085
...only to find out the Boston Celtics
had the entire floor.

150
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,729
When they saw that we're short
and have breasts....

151
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:15,628
They threw us out.
I was thrown out of a hotel. Me.

152
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,132
Go, Monana.

153
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:22,866
You ladies are not the only ones
living the dream.

154
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:27,875
I get to go pour coffee for people
I don't know. Don't wait up.

155
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:31,310
Oh, by the way...

156
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:35,348
...tomorrow we're auditioning
for a Broadway show.

157
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,189
-Excuse me?
-There's an open call for Cats.

158
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:42,121
I'm thinking we sing "Memories"...

159
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:46,661
...and make complete fools
of ourselves. What do you say?

160
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:51,166
No, no, no. Remember who you're
dealing with here.

161
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,601
I can't even stand in front
of a tap class.

162
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:57,970
That's because
of your Amish background.

163
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:02,008
-What?
-You're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?

164
00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:06,674
Right. Till I bought a blow dryer.
Then I was shunned.

165
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:14,250
I was just like you. And then, one day,
I saw a movie that changed my life.

166
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,318
Did you ever see
Dead Poets Society?

167
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:22,331
I thought that movie was
so incredibly boring.

168
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,695
That thing at the end where the kid...

169
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,930
...kills himself
because he can't be in the play?

170
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:36,172
It's like, "Kid, wait a year. Leave
home, do some community theater."

171
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:43,418
I thought, "That's two hours of
my life that I'm never getting back."

172
00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:48,116
That scared me more than all
the other crap I was afraid to do.

173
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:52,627
Wow. Then I would definitely
not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.

174
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,473
Oh, God.

175
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:04,905
We didn't get into Scranton.

176
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,812
That was, like, our safety zoo.

177
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:13,879
They take, like, dogs and cows.

178
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:20,886
See, I don't know who this
is harder on, me or him.

179
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,686
I'd say that chair's
taking the brunt of it.

180
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:30,127
Marcel. Marcel. Marcel, no.

181
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:35,571
Good boy. See?
How can nobody want him?

182
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,672
Somebody will.

183
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:43,341
You know, there already
is a Joseph Stalin.

184
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,953
You're kidding.

185
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:56,856
Apparently, he was this Russian
dictator who slaughtered people.

186
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:01,723
-You'd think you would've known that.
-You'd think I would've.

187
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,528
Hey, how about Joey Heatherton?

188
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:10,539
Come on, I told you
I don't wanna go back to Joey.

189
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:17,638
What do you think a good
stage name for me would be?

190
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,916
Flame Boy.

191
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,289
Where exactly is your zoo?

192
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,158
Well, it's technically
not a zoo, per se.

193
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:37,495
It's more of an interactive
wildlife experience.

194
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,797
Let me ask you some questions
about Marcel.

195
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:47,436
-Does he fight with other animals?
-No, no. He's very docile.

196
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,080
Even if he were cornered?

197
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:55,550
Well, I don't know. Why?

198
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:58,847
How is he at handling small objects?

199
00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:03,619
He can hold a banana,
if that's what you mean.

200
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,962
What about a hammer or a small blade?

201
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:13,369
Why would he need a blade?

202
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,439
If he's up against
an animal with horns...

203
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,974
...you got to give him something.

204
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,408
Otherwise, it's just cruel.

205
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:27,582
-He got into San Diego.
-What?

206
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:31,244
We came back from our walk.
The phone was ringing....

207
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:32,481
He's in.

208
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:38,027
Did you hear that, Marcel?
San Diego. San Diego.

209
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:41,222
You're making a mistake.
San Diego's good...

210
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,925
... but I'll start him off
against a blind rabbit...

211
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:47,901
...and give you 20% of the gate.

212
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,691
Where have you been?

213
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:13,058
Monica and I just crashed
an embassy party.

214
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,091
I think I kissed an archbishop.

215
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,338
But, of course,
it could've been a chef.

216
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:25,975
-Are you drunk?
-No.

217
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:36,449
-I'm lying. I am so drunk.
-Oh, God.

218
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:39,055
You know what?
You could've called.

219
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:42,227
I've been worried Monica.

220
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,000
Water rules.

221
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,103
Yes. Yes, it does.

222
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:59,468
The restaurant called. They wanna
know if you're showing up for work.

223
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:03,779
Nope. Going to
the Big Apple Circus today.

224
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:08,017
You're gonna lose your job.
This is not you.

225
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,812
No, it is me.

226
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:13,321
I'm not just the person
who fluffs the pillows...

227
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,787
...and pays the bills right away.

228
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:20,988
You know, when I'm with her,
I'm so much more than that.

229
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,600
I'm Monana.

230
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:36,111
Hello? Yes, she is.
Hold on a second please.

231
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:41,045
Monana, it's for you.
The credit card people.

232
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,481
Hello.

233
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:46,789
Yes?

234
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:49,492
Oh, my God.

235
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:54,262
-Thanks.
-What?

236
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,895
They've arrested Monica.

237
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,475
-Hi.
-Hi.

238
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,309
How are you?

239
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:16,045
Not too bad.
Fortunately, blue's my color.

240
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,581
How did you know I was here?

241
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:24,420
Because I'm Monica Geller.

242
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,655
It was my credit card you were using.

243
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,330
That I was not expecting.

244
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:33,994
I want you to know,
I didn't turn you in.

245
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,868
-Thanks.
-No, thank you.

246
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,540
You have given me so much.

247
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,976
I'd never have gotten to sing...

248
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,844
... "Memories" at
the Winter Garden Theater.

249
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:49,214
Actually, you only got
to sing "Memo"

250
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:54,458
I can't believe you're here.
What will I do without you?

251
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,127
Who's gonna crash
parties with me?

252
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,195
Who's gonna take me
to the Big Apple Circus?

253
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:04,529
I started my day by peeing
in front of 25 other women...

254
00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:09,001
...and you're worried about who'll
take you to the circus?

255
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,972
Well, not worried,
you know, just wondering.

256
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,670
There's nothing to wonder about.

257
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:20,909
You'll go back to being who you were.
That's who you are.

258
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,553
-Not necessarily.
-Yes, necessarily.

259
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:27,589
I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's the Amish thing.

260
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:36,701
-I'm not actually Amish.
-Really? Then why are you like that?

261
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:56,449
-You, by the door, in or out?
-ln.

262
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:06,024
-You're getting it all wrong.
-But at least I'm doing it.

263
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:24,478
This is the final boarding call
for Flight 67...

264
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,944
... to San Diego at gate 42A.

265
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:32,919
Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy.
All right, I wrote you this poem.

266
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,253
Okay, but don't eat it
till you get on the plane.

267
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,929
Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.

268
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:44,732
Okay, bye, champ.

269
00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:47,837
There'll be a lot
of babes in San Diego...

270
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,635
... but remember,
there's also a lot to learn.

271
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,908
I don't know what to say, Ross.
It's a monkey.

272
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,555
Just say what you feel, Joey.

273
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:09,048
-Marcel, I'm hungry.
-That was good.

274
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,855
Marcel, this is for you.

275
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:19,527
It's just, you know, something...

276
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:22,036
...to do on the plane.

277
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,441
If you don't mind,
I'd like a moment alone.

278
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,638
-Oh, sure. Absolutely.
-Go ahead.

279
00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:40,081
Marcel, come here. Come here.
Come here.

280
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,260
Well, buddy...

281
00:22:43,995 --> 00:22:45,656
...this is it.

282
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:48,924
Just a couple of things
I wanted to say.

283
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,898
I'm really gonna miss you.

284
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,938
You know, I'm never gonna
forget about you.

285
00:22:56,141 --> 00:23:01,044
You've been more than
just a pet to me.

286
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:04,875
You've been more like a
Okay. Marcel.

287
00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:07,882
Would you leave my leg alone?

288
00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:11,180
Would you stop humping me
for two seconds?

289
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:15,759
Okay, would you just take him away?
Just take him.

290
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:41,382
Oh, that I were a glove
upon that hand...

291
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:45,022
...that I might touch thy cheek.

292
00:23:45,223 --> 00:23:50,251
-That's fine. Thank you.
-Next.

293
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:56,495
I'll be reading
for the role of Mercutio.

294
00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:59,795
-Name?
-Holden McGroin.