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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with the East German Laundry Detergent"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,900
Let it go. It's not a big deal.

2
00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:09,041
Not a big deal? It's amazing. You
reach in, there's one maneuver and bam!

3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,403
A bra. Right out the sleeve.

4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:16,645
As far as I know, guys don't do
anything that comes close. Right?

5
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,876
Come on! You guys can pee standing up.

6
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,644
We can? Okay, I'm trying that.

7
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,718
Know what blows my mind?

8
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:29,122
Women can see breasts
anytime they want.

9
00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:33,562
You look down,
and there they are.

10
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,702
How you get any work done
is beyond me.

11
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:41,299
I don't get how guys can do
so many mean things...

12
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,908
...and not even care.

13
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:52,776
-Multiple orgasms!
-There you go.

14
00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:00,015
The One With the
East German Laundry Detergent

15
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,437
Saturday night. The big night!

16
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,542
Date night!
Saturday night. Saturday night!

17
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,174
-No plans, huh?
-Not a one!

18
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,209
Not even breaking up with Janice?

19
00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:01,683
Right, right. Shut up.

20
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,581
Chandler, nobody likes
breaking up with someone.

21
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,694
Except for Kevin Millmore,
may he rot in hell.

22
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:13,626
-You just gotta do it.
-I know. But it's just so hard.

23
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,768
You're sitting there with her.
She has no idea.

24
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,495
You finally get up
the courage to do it.

25
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:24,370
There's that awkward moment
when you've handed her the note.

26
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:30,912
You try to run out of the restaurant
before she's finished the note.

27
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:37,223
Why do you have to break up with her?
Be a man. Just stop calling.

28
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,650
If you want, I'll do it with you.

29
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:44,485
She'd feel like
we're ganging up on her.

30
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,393
You dump Janice,
I'll dump T ony.

31
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:52,069
-You're breaking up with T ony?
-He's sweet, but it's not fun anymore.

32
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:56,605
I don't know if it's me or
his hunger strike, I don't know.

33
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,471
Do you want anything else?

34
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:04,207
You had a nutty, chocolate-y,
kind of cake-y, pie thing that

35
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,587
Nothing. I' m fine.

36
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,390
What's wrong? Why so scrunchie?

37
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:16,528
My father wants to give me
a Mercedes convertible.

38
00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,994
That guy, he burns me up.

39
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,397
Yeah, it's a Mercedes
if I move back home.

40
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,504
It was horrible!
He called me "young lady. "

41
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,732
I hate when my father
calls me that.

42
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:33,508
Did he say
"You' re not up to this" again?

43
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,705
I got the extended version
with choruses of...

44
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:40,181
... "You'll Never Make it on Your Own. "

45
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,380
Hi, Joey.

46
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:47,790
Oh, my God! Angela!

47
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,157
Wow! Being dumped
by you agrees with her.

48
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:56,300
-Are you gonna go over there?
-No. Yeah. No.

49
00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,170
Okay, but not yet.
I don't wanna seem too eager.

50
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,542
One Mississippi, two Mississippi...

51
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:09,181
...three Mississippi.
That seems pretty cool.

52
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,712
-Hey, Angela.
-Joey.

53
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,252
You look good.

54
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:20,992
That's because l' m wearing a dress
that accents my boobs.

55
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,532
You don't say.

56
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,966
So, Rachel, what are you
doing tonight?

57
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:37,302
Big glamour night.
Me and Monica at Launderama.

58
00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:43,740
You wanna hear a freakish coincidence?
Guess who's doing laundry there too?

59
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,341
-Who?
-Me!

60
00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,520
Was that not clear?

61
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,122
Why don't...?

62
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,454
Why don't I just
join you both there?

63
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,791
Don't you have a laundry room
in your building?

64
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,926
Yes.

65
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,537
I do have a laundry room
in my building.

66
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,302
But there's a rat problem.

67
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:14,074
Apparently, they're attracted
to dryer sheets.

68
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:19,149
They're going in fine,
but they're coming out all fluffy.

69
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,616
-Anyway, 7-ish?
-Sure.

70
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:32,427
-Forget it. I' m with Bob now.
-Bob? Who the hell's Bob?

71
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:37,399
Bob is great. He's smart,
sophisticated, and he has a real job.

72
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,403
You go on three auditions a month
and you' re an actor. Bob

73
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:44,838
Come on! We were great together.

74
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:49,778
And not just at the fun stuff,
but, like, talking too.

75
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:57,279
Sorry, Joey. You said,
" Let's be friends. " So guess what?

76
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,617
-What?
-We' re just friends.

77
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,525
Fine. Fine.

78
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:05,594
Why don't the four of us have
dinner tonight? As friends.

79
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,129
What "four of us"?

80
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,497
You and Bob,
and me and my girlfriend...

81
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,728
... Monica.

82
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,704
I' m telling you,
this guy's perfect for you.

83
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:20,845
Forget it! Not after your cousin
who could belch the alphabet.

84
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:25,448
Come on, this guy's great.
His name's Bob. He's Angela's...

85
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,119
... brother. He's smart,
he's sophisticated...

86
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,118
...and he has a real job.

87
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,418
I go on three auditions a month
and say l' m an actor, but he's

88
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,095
-God help us.
-What?

89
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:39,958
Ugly Naked Guy
is laying kitchen tile.

90
00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:46,069
Look, l' m asking a favor here.

91
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:50,971
If I do this for her brother,
maybe Angela will come back to me.

92
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,409
What's going on?
You go out with tons of girls.

93
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,742
I know, but Angela's different.

94
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:03,411
She's like one of a kind,
like a snowflake or....

95
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:08,458
-Something else like a snowflake?
-Yeah, yeah.

96
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:13,423
Look, I made a huge mistake.
I never should've broke up with her.

97
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,931
Will you help me? Please?

98
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:27,908
Hold on a sec.
You need to not touch any of those.

99
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:29,981
Okay, bye.

100
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,719
Monica's not coming.
It's just gonna be me and Rachel.

101
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,682
Hold on, camper.
You've thought this through?

102
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,486
It's laundry.
The thinking-through is minimal.

103
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,390
Just you and Rachel?
Just you two?

104
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:50,091
This is a date.
You're going on a date.

105
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:56,039
-Uh-uh.
-Uh-huh.

106
00:07:56,442 --> 00:08:01,539
-I haven't done that in a while.
-ls it a date if she doesn't know?

107
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:06,480
Yes, absolutely.
Saturday night, all rules apply.

108
00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:10,653
What are you saying? I should
shave again? Pick up some wine?

109
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:14,486
Well, you may wanna rethink
the dirty underwear.

110
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:20,124
It's the first time she'll see
your underwear. You want it dirty?

111
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,995
No.

112
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,899
And the fabric softener?

113
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:33,237
Okay, now what is wrong
with my Snuggles?

114
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:37,073
What? It says I'm a sensitive,
warm kind of guy.

115
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,411
You know, like a little fuzzy bear.

116
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:45,151
-I'll pick something else up.
-There you go.

117
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,117
Thank you.

118
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:53,594
What does Bob look like?
Is he tall, short?

119
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,191
Yep.

120
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,293
-Which?
-Which what?

121
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:04,176
-You've never met Bob, have you?
-No, but

122
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,643
-For all we know, he's horribly
-Hey, Joey!

123
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,977
Horribly attractive.
I'll be shutting up now.

124
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,453
Where are they? Where are they?

125
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,422
This is nice. We never
do anything, just the two of us.

126
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:28,157
Great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent
a car, run over some puppies.

127
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,835
I don't wanna do that.

128
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:35,067
-Here we go.
-Have a good breakup.

129
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,473
-Hey, Janice.
-My God, I am so glad you called me.

130
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,741
I had the most supremely awful day.

131
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,585
That's not good.

132
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,980
Can I get an espresso
and a latte over here?

133
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:55,354
We got the proofs from the shoot
with the vegetables. They sucked.

134
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,621
I blew off the afternoon.
I went shopping.

135
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,732
And I got you....

136
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,936
I'm looking. I'm looking.

137
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,999
I' m looking.

138
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,504
-I got you
-What?

139
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,405
-What?
-What did you get me there?

140
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,238
I got you...

141
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,641
...these.

142
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,819
Bullwinkle socks.

143
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,488
-That's sweet.
-I knew you had Rockys.

144
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:29,127
You can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle
or Rocky and Rocky, or you can mix.

145
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:33,924
Moose and squirrel.
Whatever you want.

146
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:41,501
I'm gonna get another espresso.
More latte?

147
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:46,408
No, l' m still working on mine.

148
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,611
-That's it?
-Yeah, it was really hard.

149
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:58,720
-Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal.
-You weren't there.

150
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:04,454
-Sorry.
-How are things going?

151
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,929
Going? Things are not going.
She got me socks.

152
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:13,367
These go with your Rockys. She really
cares about you l' m sorry.

153
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,321
Coming through. Move. Move!

154
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:37,294
Excuse me! I was kind of
using that machine.

155
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,929
Yeah, well, now you' re kind of not.

156
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,034
But I saved it.
I put my basket on top.

157
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,761
I'm sorry.
Is that your basket?

158
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:51,409
It's pretty.
Unfortunately, I don't see suds!

159
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,570
What?

160
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,945
No suds, no save, okay?

161
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,187
What's going on?

162
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:06,222
Nothing. This horrible woman
just took my machine.

163
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,892
Was your basket on top?

164
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,355
-Yeah, but there were no suds.
-So?

165
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,394
-You know, no suds, no save.
-No suds, no Excuse me.

166
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,536
Hold on a second!
This is my friend's machine.

167
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,068
Hey, hey, hey!
Her stuff wasn't in it!

168
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,233
Hey, hey, hey! That's not
the rule, and you know it!

169
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:37,348
All right. Show's over.

170
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,883
Nothing to see here.

171
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,023
Okay. Let's do laundry.

172
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:51,100
That was amazing!
I can't even send back soup.

173
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:56,605
Well, that's because you' re
such a sweet, gentle....

174
00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:02,104
Do you? Do you?
Oh, hey. You must need detergent.

175
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,614
-What's that?
-Uberweiss.

176
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:12,120
It's new. It's German.
It's extra tough!

177
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:17,627
Rach, are you gonna separate those?

178
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:22,529
Oh, God.
Am I being a total laundry spaz?

179
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:27,968
Am I supposed to use one machine
for shirts and another for pants?

180
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:33,336
Have you never done this before?

181
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:37,778
Well, not myself.
But I know other people that have.

182
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:42,146
Okay. You caught me.
I'm a laundry virgin.

183
00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:47,617
Don't worry.
I'll use the gentle cycle.

184
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:55,595
Basically, you wanna use
one machine for all your whites.

185
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,269
A whole other machine
for your colors.

186
00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:02,964
And a third for your...

187
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,735
...delicates.
That would be your bras...

188
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,503
...and your underpanty things.

189
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:14,676
These are white cotton panties.

190
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,788
Would they go with whites
or with delicates?

191
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,652
That would be a judgment call.

192
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,095
He's so cute!

193
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,595
Where did you grow up?

194
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:33,428
-Brooklyn Heights.
-Cleveland.

195
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,404
-How'd that happen?
-My God!

196
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,207
What?

197
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:43,238
I suddenly had the feeling
I was falling.

198
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,207
But I'm not.

199
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,956
So, you and Angela, huh?

200
00:14:56,161 --> 00:15:00,154
-Yep. Pretty much.
-You' re a lucky man.

201
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,430
Know what I miss most about her?

202
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,571
That cute nibbly noise
she makes when she eats.

203
00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,537
Like a happy little squirrel...

204
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,734
...or a weasel.

205
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,915
-I never really noticed.
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Listen for it.

206
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,708
Monica. Monica is great.

207
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,216
Yeah, she is.

208
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:27,152
But it's not gonna last.

209
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,487
She's too much for me in bed.

210
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,760
Sexually.

211
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,296
I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.

212
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:39,971
Yeah, isn't he?

213
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:45,804
It's great to meet a smart, funny guy
who's emotionally older than 8.

214
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:50,948
You know what else?
He's unbelievable in bed!

215
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:58,056
My brother never even told me
when he lost his virginity.

216
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,223
That's nice.

217
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,390
You can. It's like
pulling off a Band-Aid.

218
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:13,594
Just do it really fast,
and then the wound is exposed.

219
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,840
Go! Go!

220
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,414
Hi, Janice.

221
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:34,620
Here we go. I don't think
we should go out anymore.

222
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,835
All right.

223
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,232
Well, there you go.

224
00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:53,639
Stop it, stop it, stop it.

225
00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,406
This isn't about you.

226
00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,983
I know! It's about
your fear of commitment.

227
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,949
I' m not afraid.

228
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:04,486
-Please.
-I don't!

229
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,786
-I don't! I' m ready to commit anytime.
-Really?

230
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,893
I know this is gonna sound stupid...

231
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,691
... but I feel that if I can do this...

232
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,233
...if I can actually do
my own laundry...

233
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,201
...there isn't anything I can't do.

234
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:24,808
That does not sound stupid to me.

235
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:29,174
The first time I had to cook
for myself after Carol left me

236
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:33,715
I'm sorry, that's all the time
we have. Next on Ross....

237
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,285
-Uh-oh.
-What?

238
00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:37,682
Uh-oh....

239
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,121
Uh-oh, the laundry's done.

240
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,988
It's a song.

241
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,061
The laundry song we sing.

242
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:50,466
Uh-oh! The laundry's done

243
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,668
-What's the matter?
-Nothing.

244
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,236
The laundry's done

245
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,599
Come on, show me.

246
00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:02,438
It's just that you left a red sock
with your whites, and now...

247
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,483
...everything's kind of pink.

248
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,609
Everything's pink?

249
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,651
Except for the red sock,
which is still red.

250
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,690
Don't be upset.
It can happen to anyone.

251
00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:16,758
But it happened to me.

252
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:20,556
God, I'm gonna look like
a big Marshmallow Peep!

253
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,596
What am I doing?

254
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,995
My father's right!
I can't live on my own.

255
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,240
I can't even do laundry!

256
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:45,519
Something went wrong with Underdog
and they couldn't inflate his head.

257
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,858
So anyway...

258
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,457
...his head is flopping
down Broadway, right?

259
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:57,897
And I'm thinking
how inappropriate this is.

260
00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:02,563
Something's in my eye. Could we
check it in the light, please?

261
00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,810
-Oh, my God!
-What?

262
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,980
Were we at the same table?
It's like...

263
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,946
...cocktails in Appalachia.

264
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,918
-They' re close.
-Close? Her tongue's in his ear.

265
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,754
Like you've never got
a little rambunctious with Ross.

266
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:30,629
Joey, this is sick.
It's disgusting. It's...

267
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,131
... not really true' is it?

268
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,100
Who's to say what's true?

269
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:39,310
-What were you thinking?
-l' m not proud of this, okay?

270
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,537
Well, maybe I am a little.

271
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,880
-l' m out of here!
-Wait!

272
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:48,644
You like him. I want her.
He likes you.

273
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,389
-Really?
-Yeah.

274
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:55,253
If we put our heads together,
between the two of us...

275
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,985
...we can break them up.

276
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,833
I' m sorry.
I can't believe I did this.

277
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:07,164
I couldn't stop laughing
at your Norman Mailer story.

278
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:16,542
Waiter? One more plate of
chicken wings over here.

279
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,718
Here's the thing.
We're different.

280
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,223
I'm bing, bing, bing.
You' re boom, boom, boom.

281
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:30,984
Oh, my God! I' m so sorry!

282
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,623
Are you okay?

283
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,694
It's just my lens. It's my lens.

284
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,063
I'll be right back.

285
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,138
I hit her in the eye!
In the eye!

286
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,935
This is the worst breakup
in the history of the world!

287
00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:49,739
Oh, my God!

288
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,917
-How many have you had?
-I don't know. A million!

289
00:20:55,787 --> 00:21:00,019
Chandler, easy, easy.
Go to your happy place.

290
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,960
-l' m fine, l' m fine.
-All right.

291
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:10,123
-l' m not fine. Here she is.
-Wait here, okay? Breathe.

292
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:31,681
-How do you do that?
-It's like a gift.

293
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,658
We should always break up together.

294
00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,226
I'd like that!

295
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:43,225
The clothes are clean.
That's the important part.

296
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:48,338
I guess. Except everything
looks like jammies now.

297
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:57,244
I'm sorry.
Excuse me. We had this cart.

298
00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:00,145
I had a 24-inch waist.
You lose things.

299
00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:02,650
Now, come on.
Get out of my way.

300
00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:06,585
I' m sorry. Maybe I wasn't
being clear. This was our cart.

301
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,726
There weren't clothes in it!

302
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,622
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Quit making up rules!

303
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,890
Let go! Come on, it's my cart.

304
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,629
Listen, Mitzi, if you want it...

305
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,634
...you' re gonna have
to take me with it!

306
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:31,080
-Yes! Did you see that?
-You were incredible.

307
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,808
A brand-new woman,
ladies and gentlemen.

308
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,477
Thank you. I could not have
done this without you.

309
00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:47,288
More clothes in the dryer?

310
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,895
-I'm fine. I'm fine.
-Are you sure?

311
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,808
-Are you sure you' re okay?
-Yeah.

312
00:22:58,009 --> 00:23:01,103
-Does it still hurt?
-Yeah.

313
00:23:02,614 --> 00:23:07,210
What a neat idea! All your
clothes match. I' m gonna do this.

314
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,652
-How'd it go?
-Excellent!

315
00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:16,427
We ripped that couple apart
and kept the pieces for ourselves.

316
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,924
What a beautiful story.

317
00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,459
-I'm fine, by the way.
-I'm sorry.

318
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:27,661
-Where's Chandler?
-He needed time to grieve.

319
00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:30,171
I' m free! I' m free!

320
00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,236
That ought to do it.