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Friends Season 1 Episode 9

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General InformationEdit

Title "The One Where Underdog Gets Away"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

1
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:11,338
Terry, I know I haven't worked here
very long but would it be possible...

2
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,639
...if I got a $1 00 advance
on my salary?

3
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,513
An advance?

4
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,652
So I can spend
Thanksgiving with my family.

5
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:23,984
Every year we ski in Vail,
and my father pays for my ticket.

6
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,217
But I've started
this independent thing...

7
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:30,488
...which is actually why
I took this "job. "

8
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,932
Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart!

9
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,229
You' re a terrible, terrible waitress.

10
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,566
Really, really awful.

11
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,274
I hear what you're saying.
I'm with you.

12
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:52,549
But I'm trying really hard,
and I think I'm doing better.

13
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,983
I really do.

14
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,215
-Does anybody need coffee?
-Yeah, over here.

15
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:02,855
Look at that.

16
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,259
The One Where Underdog Gets Away

17
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:55,140
Excuse me, sir? Hi.
You come in here all the time.

18
00:01:55,349 --> 00:02:00,685
Do you think there's a possibility
that you could advance me my tips?

19
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:07,158
Okay, okay. That's fine. Fine.
Sorry about that spill before!

20
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,387
Only 98.50 to go!

21
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:16,532
Did you know Mom and Dad are going
to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?

22
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:20,730
-What? No, they're not.
-Yes, the Blymans invited them.

23
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,533
You' re wrong.

24
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,608
-I am not wrong.
-You' re wrong.

25
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,911
No, I just talked to them.

26
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,609
I' m calling Mom.

27
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,287
-Hey, hey.
-Hey!

28
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:45,731
And this from the Cry for Help
Department: Are you wearing makeup?

29
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:53,130
Yes, I am. As of today, I'm officially
Joey T ribbiani, actor/model.

30
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:58,937
That's funny. I was thinking you look
more like, Joey T ribbiani, man/woman.

31
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:03,915
-What were you modeling for?
-Posters for the free clinic.

32
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:07,679
So you' re gonna be one
of those healthy guys?

33
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:11,915
-The asthma guy's really cute.
-Know which one you'll be?

34
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:16,222
No, but I hear Lyme disease
is open, so you know....

35
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:19,888
-Good luck, man. I hope you get it.
-Thanks.

36
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:27,664
You were right. How can they do this?
It's Thanksgiving!

37
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:32,403
What if I cook dinner at my place?
I'll make it just like Mom's.

38
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,878
Will you make mashed potatoes
with the lumps?

39
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:41,080
They're not actually supposed to
I'll work on the lumps.

40
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,823
-Joey, you' re going home?
-Yeah.

41
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:48,461
Chandler, you' re still boycotting
all the pilgrim holidays?

42
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:53,532
-Every single one of them.
-Phoebe, you'll be with your grandma?

43
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,099
And her boyfriend.

44
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:59,671
We're celebrating Thanksgiving
in December because he's lunar.

45
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,041
So you're free Thursday then?

46
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:08,613
-Yeah. Oh, can I come?
-Yeah.

47
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:15,518
-Rach, are you gonna make it to Vail?
-Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop.

48
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:19,352
-Only $1 02 to go.
-I thought it was 98. 50?

49
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,360
Yeah, well, it was, but l
I broke a cup, so....

50
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:28,264
-Well, l' m off to Carol's.
-Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her?

51
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:33,796
Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife
and will want to bring her...

52
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,806
...ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

53
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,880
Hi. Is Carol here?

54
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:53,583
-No, she's at a faculty meeting.
-I just came by to pick up my skull.

55
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,957
Well, not mine, but....

56
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,294
-Come in.
-Thanks.

57
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:03,698
Carol borrowed it, and I have
to get it back to the museum.

58
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:08,807
-What's it look like?
-Kind of like a big face without skin.

59
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:14,046
Yes. I'm familiar with the concept.

60
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:16,808
-We can just look for it.
-Okay.

61
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:27,358
Wow, you guys sure have a lot
of books about being a lesbian.

62
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:34,494
Well, you know,
you have to take a course.

63
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:38,266
Otherwise they don't let you do it.

64
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:49,579
Hey, Yertle the Turtle! A classic.

65
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:53,583
Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

66
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,849
The baby that hasn't been born yet?

67
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,152
Wouldn't that mean you're crazy?

68
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,329
You don't think
they can hear sounds in there?

69
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:10,469
You' re not serious?
I mean, you really talk to it?

70
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:15,634
Yeah, all the time.
I want the baby to know my voice.

71
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:22,948
Well, that's just
Do you talk about me?

72
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,947
-Yeah. All the time.
-Really?

73
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:32,649
But, we just refer to you
as " Bobo the Sperm Guy. "

74
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:48,339
If she's talking to it, I just think
I should get some belly time too.

75
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,510
Not that I believe this.

76
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:54,374
I believe it. I think the baby
can hear everything.

77
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,482
-Really?
-I'll show you. This'll seem weird.

78
00:06:57,684 --> 00:07:00,812
But you put your head
inside this turkey...

79
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:05,390
...and we'll all talk
and you'll hear everything we say.

80
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:10,987
I'd just like to say I'm totally
behind this experiment.

81
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:15,157
In fact, I'd very much like
to butter your head.

82
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:21,068
-Hey.
-Rach, did you make your money?

83
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:25,177
No, not even close. Forget Vail.
Forget seeing my family.

84
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:29,008
Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

85
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:36,155
-Rach, here's your mail.
-Thanks. You can put it on the table.

86
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:40,019
No. Here's your mail!

87
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,787
Thanks. You can put it on the table!

88
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,125
Would you just open it!

89
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:54,739
Oh, my God! You guys are great!

90
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,206
We all chipped in.

91
00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,073
-We did?
-You owe me $20.

92
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,840
Thank you. Thank you so much!

93
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:06,952
Chandler, got your traditional
holiday feast. T omato soup...

94
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:11,181
...grilled-cheese fixings
and a family-size bag of Funyuns.

95
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:16,920
This is your Thanksgiving dinner?
What is it with you and this holiday?

96
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,262
-I'm 9 years old.
-I hate this story!

97
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:25,734
We've finished this magnificent
Thanksgiving dinner. I have...

98
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,100
...a mouthful of pumpkin pie.

99
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:32,039
And then my parents tell me
they're getting divorced.

100
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,577
Oh, my God!

101
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:39,116
Very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving
dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

102
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,586
What's this?
I never saw this at Mom's.

103
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,522
-It's a yam.
-Hello....

104
00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:54,662
This isn't a yam.
Yam comes in purple cans.

105
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:58,267
They don't They don't come in these.

106
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:03,401
Ross, don't take this the wrong way
or anything, but back off.

107
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,588
Hi.

108
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,456
-We used to work together.
-We did?

109
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:26,224
Yeah, at Macy's.
You' re the Obsession girl, right?

110
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,425
-Yes.
-I was the Aramis guy.

111
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:35,341
-Aramis. Aramis. Aramis.
-Yeah, right!

112
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:39,643
-You' re the best in the business.
-Get out.

113
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:44,874
You' re amazing! You know when
to spritz. You know when to lay back.

114
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,953
Really? You don't know
what that means to me.

115
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:55,690
You smell great tonight.
What are you wearing?

116
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,454
Nothing.

117
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:12,135
-Listen, do you wanna go get a drink?
-Yeah, that would be

118
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,975
-What's wrong?
-I have to do something.

119
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,583
What?

120
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,788
-Leave.
-Wait, wait, wait!

121
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,564
So I guess you all saw it.

122
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,101
-What?
-Saw what?

123
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:16,037
No, we' re just laughing. You know
how laughter can be infectious.

124
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:39,992
Set another place for Thanksgiving.
My entire family thinks I have VD.

125
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:44,197
"T onight, on a very special Blossom. "

126
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,974
Looking good! Okay!

127
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:58,948
Cider's mulling, turkey's turkeying,
yams are yamming....

128
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,819
What?

129
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:05,788
I don't know. It's just not
the same without Mom in the kitchen.

130
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,358
Get out and stop annoying me!

131
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,393
Oh, that's closer.

132
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,595
I got the tickets!

133
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,896
Five hours from now,
shoop, shoop, shoop!

134
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:22,599
-Oh, you must stop shooping.
-Okay, l' m gonna get my stuff.

135
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,333
Will you come in?

136
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:28,776
I prefer to keep a safe distance
from all this merriment.

137
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:32,509
Look out! Incoming pumpkin pie!

138
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:43,523
We laughed when you did it with
the stuffing, but that's not funny.

139
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:48,498
Hey, Monica, I got a question.
I don't see any T ator T ots.

140
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:53,298
-That's not a question.
-My mom makes them. It's a tradition.

141
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:58,809
You get a piece of turkey on your fork,
a little cranberry sauce and a T ot!

142
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:05,610
I mean, it's bad enough I can't be
with my family because of my disease.

143
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,318
All right. Fine.

144
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:14,427
Tonight's potatoes will be mashed,
with lumps and in the form of Tots.

145
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:19,829
All right, I'm off
to talk to my unborn child.

146
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,700
Okay, Mom never hit.

147
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,936
Okay, all done.

148
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:35,137
Phoebe, did you whip the pota?
Ross needs lumps!

149
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,043
Oh, l' m sorry! I just

150
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:42,483
I thought we could have them whipped
and then add some peas and onions.

151
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,054
Why do that?

152
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:49,422
Because then they'd be just like my
mom used to make it, before she died.

153
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,999
Okay. Three kinds
of potatoes coming up.

154
00:13:56,303 --> 00:14:00,069
Okay. Goodbye, you guys!
Thanks for everything!

155
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:04,334
Oh, God, look at
Sorry! I'm so sorry.

156
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:09,413
An unbelievable thing happened!
Underdog got away!

157
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:14,178
-The balloon?
-No, no, the actual cartoon character.

158
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,384
Of course the balloon!

159
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:22,358
He broke free and was spotted
flying over Washington Square Park.

160
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:26,191
-I'm going to the roof. Who's with me?
-I can't!

161
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:30,426
An 80-foot dog over the city?
How often does that happen?

162
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,968
Almost never.

163
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,664
-Got the keys?
-Okay.

164
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,710
Anytime you' re ready.

165
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:46,408
Okay. Okay, here we go.

166
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:54,523
Okay. Where am I talking to here?

167
00:14:55,428 --> 00:15:00,263
There is one way that offers a
certain acoustical advantage, but....

168
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,466
Just aim for the bump.

169
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,335
Okay.

170
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:09,569
Okay. Okay. Okay, here goes.

171
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,716
You know, I can't do this. This is

172
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,856
It's too weird. I feel stupid.

173
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:28,653
It's fine. You don't have to do it
just because Susan does it.

174
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:32,764
Hello, baby. Hello. Hello.

175
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:37,694
the moment we first saw
the dog shadow fall over the park!

176
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:41,897
But did they have to shoot him down?
That was just mean.

177
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:46,534
Right now the turkey should
be crispy on the outside...

178
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,044
...and juicy on the inside.

179
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,313
Why are we standing here?

180
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:55,545
We're waiting for you to open
the door. You have the keys.

181
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,313
No, I don't.

182
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:01,955
Yes, you do. When we left,
you said, "Got the keys. "

183
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,861
No, I didn't. I asked, "Got the keys? "

184
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,761
No, no, no. You said, "Got the keys! "

185
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,270
Do either of you have the keys?

186
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,076
-The oven is on!
-I've gotta get my ticket!

187
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,304
-Wait! We have a copy of your key.
-Get it!

188
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,449
That tone won't make me go any faster.

189
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,881
-Joey.
-That one will.

190
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:34,492
And everyone's telling me,
"You gotta pick a major. "

191
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:39,290
So on a dare, I picked paleontology.

192
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:44,937
And you have no idea what I'm saying,
because, face it, you' re a fetus.

193
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,399
You're happy you don't
have gills anymore.

194
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,670
You don't have to talk to it.
You can sing

195
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,543
Please. I am not singing
to your stomach, okay?

196
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,952
How's it going?

197
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,916
Here we come

198
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,352
Walking down the street

199
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:08,425
Get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet

200
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,289
Hey, hey

201
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,933
-Hey, did you just feel that?
-I did.

202
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,934
-Does it always?
-That was the first.

203
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,198
IKeep singing! IKeep singing!

204
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:25,742
Hey, hey, you 're my baby
And I can 't wait to meet you

205
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:30,439
When you come out I'll buy you a bagel
Then we 'll go to the zoo

206
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,244
-lt did it again!
-I felt it that time!

207
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:38,117
Hey, hey, I'm your daddy
I'm the one without any breasts

208
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:46,288
This is great. It's 5:00. My plane
is pulling away from the gate.

209
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,935
-Maybe you can take a later flight.
-There is none.

210
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:53,867
-You can go tomorrow.
-T omorrow is not Thanksgiving!

211
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:58,101
If l' m gonna cheer you up,
you have to meet me halfway.

212
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,942
Can you go any faster?

213
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:05,275
I got one keyhole and a zillion keys!
You do the math.

214
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:09,012
Why do you guys have so many
keys in there anyway?

215
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,622
For an emergency just like this.

216
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,019
All right. Listen, smirky!

217
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:18,959
If not for your stupid balloon,
I'd be on a plane...

218
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:22,931
...watching a woman do this... right
now. But l' m not!

219
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,101
You said you had the keys!

220
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:30,902
No, I didn't! I wouldn't say I had
the keys unless I had the keys!

221
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:35,104
That's it! Enough with the keys.
No one say keys!

222
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,913
Why would I have the keys?!

223
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,385
-Aside from the fact you said you did?
-I didn't!

224
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,921
-You should've.
-Why?

225
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,114
-Because!
-Why?

226
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:51,093
Everything's my responsibility?
Isn't it enough that l' m making dinner?

227
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,529
Everyone wants a different kind
of potato, so I'm making them.

228
00:18:55,735 --> 00:19:00,695
Does anybody care what kind
of potatoes I want? No!

229
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,738
No! No!

230
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:07,936
Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas
and onions, and Mario gets his T ots

231
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:12,244
It's my first Thanksgiving, and l

232
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,512
It's all burnt, and I can't....

233
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:22,686
Monica, only dogs can hear you now.
Look, the door's open. Here we go.

234
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,735
-All right, Chandler, don't lose this.
-No

235
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,801
Well, the turkey's burnt!

236
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:42,277
Potatoes are ruined! Potatoes
are ruined! Potatoes are ruined!

237
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,713
Here we come

238
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,886
Walking down the

239
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:51,617
This doesn't smell like Mom's.

240
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:58,894
It doesn't, does it? You wanted lumps?
Here you go, buddy. You got one!

241
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:04,531
-Don't yell at me. You burned dinner!
-Hey, don't make her squeak again!

242
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:10,609
God, this is great! The plane is gone.
I guess I'm stuck here with you guys.

243
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:14,906
We all had better plans.
This was nobody's first choice!

244
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:20,279
Oh, really? So why was I busting
my ass to make this delicious dinner?

245
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,649
-You call that delicious?
-You be quiet!

246
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:27,649
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

247
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,693
Now this feels like Thanksgiving.

248
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,498
Skiing.

249
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:43,231
Shoop, shoop, shoop....

250
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,967
Shoop.

251
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,443
-Eww.
-What?

252
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:52,584
Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey
out of the oven.

253
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,620
-Who cares?
-He just sat in gravy.

254
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,518
Oh, my God! He's not alone.

255
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:07,495
Ugly Naked Guy is having Thanksgiving
dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.

256
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,433
I gotta see this!

257
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,133
All right, Ugly Naked Guy!

258
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,210
Ugly naked dancing!

259
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:21,410
It's nice that he has someone.

260
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,183
Shall I carve?

261
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:36,562
-By all means.
-All right.

262
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:45,295
Who wants light cheese,
and who wants dark cheese?

263
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:49,168
I don't even want to know
about the dark cheese.

264
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,935
-Does anybody wanna split this?
-I will.

265
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,546
-You guys have to make a wish.
-Make a wish?

266
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,478
Come on, you know, Thanksgiving.

267
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:06,285
You got the bigger half!
What did you wish for?

268
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,426
The bigger half.

269
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,160
All right, I'd like
to propose a toast.

270
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,766
A little toast here. Ding, ding!

271
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:18,664
This isn't the Thanksgiving
you planned...

272
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:22,830
...but for me,
this has been really great.

273
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:28,981
I think because it didn't involve
divorce or projectile vomiting.

274
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:34,647
If you'd gone to Vail
or if you had been with your family...

275
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:38,381
...or if you didn't have syphilis
and stuff...

276
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,995
...we wouldn't be together.

277
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:45,960
I guess what l' m trying
to say is that...

278
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:51,000
... I' m very thankful that all
of your Thanksgivings sucked.

279
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:55,239
-That's so sweet!
-Thank you.

280
00:22:57,210 --> 00:23:00,771
-Here's to a lousy Christmas!
-And a crappy New Year!

281
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,505
-Hear, hear!
-Hear, hear!

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