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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with Russ"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:09,331
Slow down! The will not be
sold out at 1:00 in the morning.

2
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,137
I'm excited!
I've never got reviewed before!

3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,907
You were so amazing as the king!
I'm really impressed.

4
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,378
Although you know what?

5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,075
You might wanna concider wear
underwear next time.

6
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:24,021
When you sat on the throne,
you could see your...

7
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,850
... royal subjects.

8
00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:28,650
Come on, no one wear underwear back then.

9
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:31,350
I am sure the critic will appreciate your authority.

10
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:34,361
Nice gender, by the way!

11
00:00:34,361 --> 00:00:36,361
Thanks man!

12
00:00:36,361 --> 00:00:37,556
Here it is! Here it is!

13
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,724
"The only thing worse than
the mindless adolescent direction...

14
00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:46,802
...was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly
unskilled portrayal of the king."

15
00:00:47,239 --> 00:00:49,469
Okay, look.
That is one guy's opinion.

16
00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:52,336
All right?
Pheebs, read yours.

17
00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:56,173
"The only thing worse than
the mindless, adolescent direction"

18
00:00:56,381 --> 00:00:58,406
Anybody have one from a different paper?

19
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,212
Ross, read yours.

20
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,252
I don't want to.

21
00:01:05,252 --> 00:01:07,252
The only enjoyable moment ¡­¡­

22
00:01:07,352 --> 00:01:10,156
¡­¡­was when the king has been 
hanged and he can speak no more.

23
00:01:11,056 --> 00:01:14,423
Joey, they don't know
what they're talking about.

24
00:01:14,927 --> 00:01:15,916
Maybe they do.

25
00:01:16,195 --> 00:01:20,291
I've done this 10 years and I'm
nowhere. There's gotta be a reason.

26
00:01:20,532 --> 00:01:22,864
Come on, you're just
paying your dues.

27
00:01:23,068 --> 00:01:25,161
No, no, no. It's too hard.

28
00:01:25,371 --> 00:01:27,305
It's not worth it. I quit.

29
00:01:27,539 --> 00:01:28,767
Come on, Joey!

30
00:01:28,974 --> 00:01:31,374
Wait, wait one minute.
Wait a minute.

31
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:34,306
I believe this will change your mind.

32
00:01:34,546 --> 00:01:39,245
"ln a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani
achieved brilliant levels of

33
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,610
Continued on page 153.

34
00:01:42,421 --> 00:01:43,615
sucking."

35
00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:47,081
The One With Russ

36
00:02:30,081 --> 00:02:32,881
It there anything else you ever wanna to be?

37
00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:36,893
I used to want to be a vet.

38
00:02:37,105 --> 00:02:40,541
Then I found out you have
to put your hands into cows.

39
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:46,869
Are you okay?

40
00:02:47,115 --> 00:02:49,777
Just a tough day at work, you know?

41
00:02:50,018 --> 00:02:52,248
Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.

42
00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:57,919
I know this jacket.
This is Fun Bobby's jacket!

43
00:02:58,126 --> 00:03:00,253
Where is he?
He's here, isn't he?

44
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,257
-Maybe.
-Don't toy with me.

45
00:03:02,764 --> 00:03:03,594
Geller!

46
00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:05,425
Hey, Fun Bobby!

47
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,531
Hey! You been working out?

48
00:03:07,769 --> 00:03:08,758
Not at all.

49
00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:10,460
I love this guy!

50
00:03:11,939 --> 00:03:14,305
I'm so excited to hear
you're back with my sister.

51
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,635
-You and me both!
-So what'd I miss?

52
00:03:16,878 --> 00:03:19,244
We were trying
to make Joey feel better.

53
00:03:19,947 --> 00:03:21,244
Need me to pick you up?

54
00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:23,239
No, I'm all right, man.

55
00:03:23,451 --> 00:03:24,782
No, I'm picking you up!

56
00:03:25,053 --> 00:03:27,283
No, seriously.
I don't need you to

57
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:31,288
It still works!

58
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,653
Before I go, does anybody else
need to be picked up?

59
00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:37,463
I'm still gonna go.

60
00:03:38,399 --> 00:03:39,730
See you later, babe.

61
00:03:41,836 --> 00:03:45,636
Public display of affection coming up.
You can avert your eyes.

62
00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:53,844
See you.

63
00:03:55,483 --> 00:03:57,075
Fun Bobby is so great.

64
00:03:57,285 --> 00:03:58,411
Oh, isn't he?

65
00:03:58,653 --> 00:04:03,317
I think this time it may work with him.
He makes me feel so good.

66
00:04:03,524 --> 00:04:06,857
I've been feeling so lousy lately.
No job, no boyfriend.

67
00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,359
Well, at least my cup is half full.

68
00:04:10,098 --> 00:04:12,157
Half full of love!

69
00:04:14,702 --> 00:04:18,433
For our two-week anniversary,
he's taking me to his cousin's cabin.

70
00:04:18,673 --> 00:04:20,641
Cabin of love!

71
00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:25,041
We went through
a lot of wine tonight.

72
00:04:25,313 --> 00:04:26,541
I only had two glasses.

73
00:04:26,781 --> 00:04:27,770
I had a glass.

74
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:28,879
Two.

75
00:04:29,117 --> 00:04:29,981
I had one glass.

76
00:04:30,184 --> 00:04:31,549
I had a mug full in this...

77
00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:34,845
... I-got-boned-at-the-
Museum-of-Natural-History mug.

78
00:04:36,791 --> 00:04:39,282
Okay, so that's what?
Two bottles.

79
00:04:39,527 --> 00:04:41,961
And yet somehow we went through five?

80
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:57,872
So what?
So he drank a lot tonight.

81
00:04:58,312 --> 00:05:00,746
Now that I think about it,
I don't think...

82
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:03,813
...I've ever seen Fun Bobby
without a drink.

83
00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:09,216
And did you notice how
he always starts his stories with...

84
00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:14,156
... "Okay, I was so wasted!"
or "Oh, we were so bombed!"

85
00:05:14,362 --> 00:05:17,331
"So I wake up and I'm in
this dumpster in Connecticut!"

86
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,230
Have you been with him
when he wasn't drinking?

87
00:05:22,436 --> 00:05:26,167
We just happen to go to a lot
of places where you might drink.

88
00:05:26,374 --> 00:05:29,571
How do you go to a wine-tasting
without having a drink?

89
00:05:30,011 --> 00:05:32,411
Or to a club, or to the...

90
00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:33,941
...zoo.

91
00:05:38,886 --> 00:05:40,945
Rach, does this have nonfat milk?

92
00:05:41,756 --> 00:05:43,781
I don't know, taste it.

93
00:05:47,728 --> 00:05:49,593
Too late, you already had some.

94
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:56,298
What do you say
we make these coffees lrish?

95
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:01,065
Cake!

96
00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:05,037
Yeah, we're gonna get some cake.

97
00:06:07,548 --> 00:06:11,609
It seems like you've been making
an awful lot of stuff "lrish" lately.

98
00:06:11,886 --> 00:06:16,220
I'd make them Belgian, but the waffles
are hard to get into that flask.

99
00:06:18,292 --> 00:06:19,316
Yeah, okay.

100
00:06:20,161 --> 00:06:24,325
Maybe it's none of my business.
Or maybe it is, I don't know.

101
00:06:25,266 --> 00:06:26,494
I'm worried about you.

102
00:06:27,568 --> 00:06:31,971
This isn't the first time somebody
said something to me about this.

103
00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:35,836
But I always made excuses,
like "I'm just a social drinker."

104
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:38,578
Or "Come on, it's Flag Day!"

105
00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:42,478
So, what are you saying now?

106
00:06:44,018 --> 00:06:45,849
I guess I'm saying...

107
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,485
... I'll try and quit.

108
00:06:48,089 --> 00:06:49,852
I like that you worry about me.

109
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:55,495
So, what's going on?

110
00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:58,091
I am gonna try and quit drinking.

111
00:06:58,299 --> 00:06:59,823
Oh! Why?

112
00:07:06,974 --> 00:07:08,441
Guess who's back in show biz!

113
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:10,811
Lorne Greene?

114
00:07:13,547 --> 00:07:15,640
No. You know why?
Because he's dead.

115
00:07:15,883 --> 00:07:17,145
Oh, no.

116
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,518
This is gonna seem bittersweet now...

117
00:07:21,722 --> 00:07:23,781
... but Joey, that's who!

118
00:07:25,226 --> 00:07:28,127
My agent called with an audition
for Days Of Our Lives!

119
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:29,726
Kick ass!

120
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:42,033
We have to celebrate!
We should do a soap opera theme.

121
00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:45,703
We could all sleep together,
then one of us could get amnesia!

122
00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:52,640
When do you get off?
We'll do something tonight.

123
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,211
Well, actually, I'm already done.
But I kind of got plans.

124
00:07:58,351 --> 00:07:59,875
You have other friends?

125
00:08:02,389 --> 00:08:03,879
I have a date.

126
00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:04,920
What?

127
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,090
With a man?

128
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,494
No, with Crule John.

129
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,724
What's so strange
about me having a date?

130
00:08:15,724 --> 00:08:16,930
With Crule John.

131
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:20,358
What about Ross?

132
00:08:20,564 --> 00:08:23,055
You're still mad
because he made that list?

133
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:25,701
No, no, I'm not mad at him.

134
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:28,463
I'm not really "anything"
at him anymore.

135
00:08:28,773 --> 00:08:31,207
-What are you talking about?
-I don't know.

136
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:35,372
Whatever I was feeling, I'm...

137
00:08:35,613 --> 00:08:36,443
... not.

138
00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,308
But you guys came so close.

139
00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:41,575
I'm sorry. You'll have
to get used to the fact...

140
00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,879
...that I will not be dating Ross.

141
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:46,982
Here he is.

142
00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:50,823
Guys, this is Russ.

143
00:09:12,908 --> 00:09:16,139
I'm not saying you're not talented.
You're very talented.

144
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:20,314
But with the bird dead and all,
there's very little act left.

145
00:09:20,882 --> 00:09:23,180
Honey, give me a break, will you?

146
00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:24,750
I'll talk to you later.

147
00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,784
There's my favorite client!

148
00:09:27,055 --> 00:09:29,615
So tell me, darling,
how was the audition?

149
00:09:29,891 --> 00:09:33,827
I think it went well.
I got a callback for Thursday.

150
00:09:34,062 --> 00:09:37,122
Joey! Have you ever
seen me ecstatic?

151
00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:40,125
Well, here it is.

152
00:09:44,439 --> 00:09:48,307
Okay! Listen, there's something
I want to talk to you about.

153
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,602
The casting lady

154
00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:51,836
Oh, isn't Lori a doll?

155
00:09:52,114 --> 00:09:53,012
She's great.

156
00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:59,152
But I kind of got the feeling that
she was sort of coming on to me.

157
00:09:59,421 --> 00:10:03,755
And I definitely would get the part
if I were to, you know....

158
00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:10,591
If I sent the little general in.

159
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:16,801
I see! Well, I'm just gonna
put in a call here...

160
00:10:17,005 --> 00:10:20,634
...and we'll find out what's going on
and straighten it out.

161
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:23,143
Lori, please.

162
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,043
Hi, darling!

163
00:10:27,349 --> 00:10:30,318
How about Joey Tribbiani
for the part of the cab driver?

164
00:10:30,519 --> 00:10:32,282
Isn't he terrific?

165
00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,725
Okay, doll, talk to you later.

166
00:10:39,294 --> 00:10:41,387
You're gonna have to sleep with her.

167
00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:47,298
-What's the matter?
-Fun Bobby.

168
00:10:47,502 --> 00:10:48,833
What? Isn't he sober?

169
00:10:49,037 --> 00:10:50,470
Oh, he's sober all right.

170
00:10:50,705 --> 00:10:53,401
Turns out that Fun Bobby
was fun for a reason.

171
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:00,644
All right, here you go, sweetie.

172
00:11:01,483 --> 00:11:04,008
Thanks. You wanna
hear something funny?

173
00:11:04,252 --> 00:11:05,844
Oh, God, yes!

174
00:11:07,522 --> 00:11:11,822
There are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.

175
00:11:14,896 --> 00:11:16,488
That is funny.

176
00:11:17,599 --> 00:11:22,366
I needed to buy a hammer and I'm out
walking around the neighborhood.

177
00:11:22,366 --> 00:11:27,366
and I am walking, and I am walking, and I am walking

178
00:11:28,366 --> 00:11:30,771
So you are saying you are walking

179
00:11:30,771 --> 00:11:31,965
But apparently...

180
00:11:32,406 --> 00:11:37,139
...there are no hardware stores open
past midnight in the Village.

181
00:11:41,139 --> 00:11:44,139
So it's help for fat ¡­¡­

182
00:11:44,139 --> 00:11:46,139
¡­¡­as well as funny.

183
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:53,776
Don't you have to
be at your interview?

184
00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:54,715
Oh, yeah.

185
00:11:58,089 --> 00:11:59,215
See you guys.

186
00:11:59,423 --> 00:12:00,321
Bye...

187
00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:03,218
...ridiculously dull Bobby.

188
00:12:04,695 --> 00:12:06,026
Oh, my God.

189
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:07,527
He's not that bad.

190
00:12:07,732 --> 00:12:11,691
Not that bad?
Did you not hear the hammer story?

191
00:12:11,903 --> 00:12:14,064
Okay, don't get all squinky.

192
00:12:15,773 --> 00:12:18,571
Maybe it's the kind of story
where you had to be there.

193
00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:20,175
But I'm gonna be there!

194
00:12:20,378 --> 00:12:22,744
For the rest of my life.

195
00:12:24,282 --> 00:12:27,877
I can't dump him. I made him
quit drinking. I made him dull!

196
00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,279
Don't say that.

197
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,853
He's probably always been dull.
You just, you know...

198
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,387
...set it free.

199
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:37,758
Hey, Ross.

200
00:12:40,398 --> 00:12:41,365
Hi, Russ.

201
00:12:41,599 --> 00:12:44,727
I've got two more tables
to clean, and then we'll go.

202
00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:47,200
I'll just sit here and...

203
00:12:47,605 --> 00:12:49,470
...chat with your...

204
00:12:50,408 --> 00:12:53,468
...friend-type people.

205
00:12:58,883 --> 00:12:59,747
Rachel?

206
00:13:02,019 --> 00:13:04,283
So, you know what
you're doing, right?

207
00:13:05,022 --> 00:13:06,182
Waitressing?

208
00:13:06,424 --> 00:13:08,915
Well, yeah. But, no.
I mean....

209
00:13:09,693 --> 00:13:12,662
Doesn't Russ just
remind you of someone?

210
00:13:14,598 --> 00:13:15,792
Bob Saget?

211
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:17,299
Oh, yeah!

212
00:13:18,602 --> 00:13:20,194
No, no, no!

213
00:13:21,372 --> 00:13:22,532
Oh, my, oh!

214
00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:24,337
What's wrong?

215
00:13:26,210 --> 00:13:27,472
She's upset because...

216
00:13:27,678 --> 00:13:30,647
...she buttered a spider
into her toast this morning.

217
00:13:32,516 --> 00:13:33,676
All right.

218
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:38,547
Listen, Pheebs.
This is gonna be okay.

219
00:13:39,056 --> 00:13:40,990
Ross, Russ.
Russ, Ross.

220
00:13:45,129 --> 00:13:47,188
Are you a friend of Rachel's?

221
00:13:47,398 --> 00:13:48,456
Yes. Yes, I am.

222
00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:51,294
Are you a friend of Rachel's?

223
00:13:51,535 --> 00:13:54,402
Actually, I'm kind of a...

224
00:13:54,705 --> 00:13:55,797
...you know...

225
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:58,900
...a date-type thing...

226
00:13:59,543 --> 00:14:00,407
...of Rachel's.

227
00:14:01,412 --> 00:14:02,709
A date?

228
00:14:03,314 --> 00:14:04,508
I'm her date.

229
00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:06,512
Oh! Oh, you're a....

230
00:14:06,717 --> 00:14:09,311
Oh, you're the date.

231
00:14:09,753 --> 00:14:11,050
This is actually good...

232
00:14:11,255 --> 00:14:13,917
... because if we lose Ross,
we have a spare.

233
00:14:14,892 --> 00:14:17,417
Oh! You are the paleontologist.

234
00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:21,055
Yes. Yes, I am.
And you are a....

235
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:23,930
Periodontist.

236
00:14:24,268 --> 00:14:27,260
See? Now they're as
different as night and...

237
00:14:28,105 --> 00:14:29,595
...Iater that night.

238
00:14:30,174 --> 00:14:33,803
Well, I am going to get a beverage.

239
00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:36,070
It was nice meeting you.

240
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,269
Ditto.

241
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:44,952
Well, I met Russ.

242
00:14:47,691 --> 00:14:50,455
Hey, I didn't know
we were seeing other people.

243
00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:53,897
Well, we're not
seeing each other, so....

244
00:14:54,698 --> 00:14:57,599
For your information,
there's a woman at the museum...

245
00:14:57,801 --> 00:15:00,770
...who's curator of moths and other...

246
00:15:02,072 --> 00:15:02,936
...winged things...

247
00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:09,372
...who's let it be known that
she is drawn to me, much like a...

248
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:10,410
...you know.

249
00:15:11,982 --> 00:15:14,815
I've kept her at bay,
but if this is the deal

250
00:15:15,052 --> 00:15:16,280
This is the deal.

251
00:15:16,487 --> 00:15:18,478
Okay, well, have a nice evening.

252
00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:20,721
Russ, you ready?

253
00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:29,432
She's dating?

254
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,124
She's dating?

255
00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:34,429
Yes, but did you see
who she was dating?

256
00:15:35,272 --> 00:15:36,136
What do you mean?

257
00:15:36,774 --> 00:15:38,503
-Do you not see it?
-See what?

258
00:15:38,742 --> 00:15:41,506
I don't know what she sees
in that goober!

259
00:15:44,348 --> 00:15:47,408
It takes him, what?
Like, I don't know...

260
00:15:47,651 --> 00:15:50,085
... hello, a week
to get out a sentence?

261
00:15:51,255 --> 00:15:52,620
It's annoying, isn't it?

262
00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,601
You didn't get the part...

263
00:16:10,808 --> 00:16:13,208
...or ltaly called
and said it was hungry?

264
00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:15,944
The part's mine if I want it.

265
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:17,478
Oh, my God!

266
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:20,444
If I'm willing to sleep
with the casting lady.

267
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,878
Oh, my...

268
00:16:22,086 --> 00:16:23,246
...God?

269
00:16:24,455 --> 00:16:28,221
Ten years I've been waiting
for a break like this. Ten years!

270
00:16:28,459 --> 00:16:32,122
I mean, Days of our Lives.
That's actually on television!

271
00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:34,496
What are you gonna do?

272
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,166
I guess I could sleep with her.
I mean....

273
00:16:37,434 --> 00:16:38,799
How can I do that?

274
00:16:39,069 --> 00:16:42,835
I've got a pop-up book that told me
everything I need to know.

275
00:16:43,674 --> 00:16:45,801
I've never slept
with someone for a part.

276
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:47,170
Well, is she

277
00:16:49,513 --> 00:16:50,480
Sorry.

278
00:16:51,949 --> 00:16:53,644
Is she good-looking?

279
00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:57,148
She's totally good-looking.
If I met her in a bar...

280
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:59,685
... I'd be buying her breakfast.

281
00:17:01,592 --> 00:17:03,423
After having slept with her.

282
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,260
Maybe this isn't such a big deal.

283
00:17:11,468 --> 00:17:16,371
The way that I see it is, you get a
great job, and you get to have sex!

284
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:20,166
Throw in a tree and a fat guy,
and you've got Christmas!

285
00:17:24,548 --> 00:17:27,847
I just don't think that
I want it that way, though.

286
00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:30,520
I mean, let's say
I do make it, all right?

287
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:34,952
I'll always look back and wonder
if it was because of my talent or...

288
00:17:35,192 --> 00:17:37,023
...you know, the little general.

289
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:42,665
Didn't you used to call it
"the little major"?

290
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,368
After Denise DeMarco,
I had to promote it.

291
00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:52,865
Something from the bar?

292
00:17:53,077 --> 00:17:54,840
Yes, I would like something.

293
00:17:55,879 --> 00:17:57,938
No. No, thank you.

294
00:17:58,148 --> 00:18:01,879
If you wanna drink, it's okay with me.
I've gotta get used to it.

295
00:18:02,086 --> 00:18:04,850
No, no, really.
I wouldn't feel right about it.

296
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,587
Just some water, please.

297
00:18:07,324 --> 00:18:10,851
-So my refrigerator light's out.
-Scotch on the rocks with a twist!

298
00:18:13,864 --> 00:18:16,196
We're having some fun now, huh, Ross?

299
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,764
Wanna do another one?
Huh, Russ?

300
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,101
Eleven letters...

301
00:18:23,574 --> 00:18:27,169
...atomic element number 101,
ends in "ium."

302
00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:28,443
Dysprosium.

303
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:30,510
Dysprosium.

304
00:18:30,748 --> 00:18:32,215
Try mendelevium.

305
00:18:32,549 --> 00:18:34,676
And weenie number two has it.

306
00:18:35,452 --> 00:18:39,252
Unless "Knights in White Satin"
was sung by the Doody Blues.

307
00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:45,752
You don't see it?
You actually don't see it?

308
00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:46,861
What?

309
00:18:47,364 --> 00:18:49,195
Honey, you're dating Ross.

310
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:51,094
No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.

311
00:18:51,301 --> 00:18:53,769
Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross.

312
00:18:53,971 --> 00:18:55,370
Steve, sleeve.

313
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:58,069
No one is named sleeve.

314
00:18:58,909 --> 00:19:00,809
What are you talking about?

315
00:19:01,044 --> 00:19:05,105
Other than their names being similar,
I do not see what you're seeing.

316
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:06,976
For your information...

317
00:19:07,217 --> 00:19:09,481
...it's a card sharp,
not a card shark.

318
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,278
You could not be more wrong.

319
00:19:11,555 --> 00:19:14,046
You could try,
but you would not be successful.

320
00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:19,224
I'm gonna get some more coffee before
the pinching and eye-poking begins.

321
00:19:21,131 --> 00:19:22,325
I know your problem.

322
00:19:22,599 --> 00:19:23,793
Oh, you do, do you?

323
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:25,331
You're jealous.

324
00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:29,605
Of what?

325
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:32,307
You're jealous
because I'm a real doctor.

326
00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:36,141
Hey, you're a doctor of gums.

327
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,837
That's the smallest body part
you can major in.

328
00:19:40,484 --> 00:19:43,044
Day one, floss.
Day two, here's your diploma.

329
00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:44,311
You listen here

330
00:19:44,555 --> 00:19:46,386
-Let me finish.
-No, let me finish.

331
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,558
No, you let me fin

332
00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:04,534
Did Joey say what he was gonna do?

333
00:20:05,175 --> 00:20:06,608
I don't even think he knew.

334
00:20:06,844 --> 00:20:09,404
Would you sleep with somebody
to get a great job?

335
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:12,112
Who would I have to sleep with?

336
00:20:12,349 --> 00:20:13,407
Me.

337
00:20:16,086 --> 00:20:17,713
Why with you?

338
00:20:17,921 --> 00:20:20,185
It's my game.
You want the job or not?

339
00:20:23,861 --> 00:20:24,759
Good morning.

340
00:20:25,028 --> 00:20:26,120
Where you going?

341
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:29,355
Bobby and I are going away
for the weekend. Remember?

342
00:20:30,701 --> 00:20:32,293
What's with all the liquor?

343
00:20:40,269 --> 00:20:42,669
What's going on?
Is Bobby drinking again?

344
00:20:42,972 --> 00:20:45,338
This is not for him.
This is for me.

345
00:20:46,809 --> 00:20:50,472
That way, he's sober but his
shoelace stories are more amusing.

346
00:20:55,852 --> 00:20:58,446
God! Even his knock is boring!

347
00:21:01,123 --> 00:21:04,320
-I'll be ready in a second.
-Could I talk to you?

348
00:21:04,527 --> 00:21:05,357
Sure.

349
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:08,991
This is hard for me to say.

350
00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:10,994
You fell off the wagon!

351
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,360
Oh, no, no.

352
00:21:12,935 --> 00:21:13,799
It's about you.

353
00:21:14,437 --> 00:21:15,529
What about me?

354
00:21:16,105 --> 00:21:18,335
I think you may have
a drinking problem.

355
00:21:21,711 --> 00:21:22,939
What, these?

356
00:21:23,846 --> 00:21:26,474
No, these are for cuts and scrapes.

357
00:21:27,783 --> 00:21:31,844
Look, I'm not strong enough to be
in a codependent relationship.

358
00:21:33,222 --> 00:21:34,621
Oh, shoot.

359
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:40,295
Well, anyway,
I hope we can be friends.

360
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:45,698
Take care.

361
00:21:45,902 --> 00:21:48,370
-You too.
-Goodbye.

362
00:21:51,841 --> 00:21:52,967
What happened?

363
00:21:55,077 --> 00:21:56,203
We kind of broke up.

364
00:22:03,419 --> 00:22:04,886
Does anybody want these?

365
00:22:05,154 --> 00:22:06,348
I'll take one.

366
00:22:07,356 --> 00:22:10,814
Sometimes I hold stuff like this
and pretend I'm a giant.

367
00:22:16,432 --> 00:22:18,093
How'd the callback go?

368
00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:22,065
It was unbelievable. I walked
in there and she was all over me.

369
00:22:22,271 --> 00:22:24,364
-What did you do?
-I couldn't do it.

370
00:22:24,574 --> 00:22:26,439
I didn't want the part that way.

371
00:22:26,676 --> 00:22:27,506
Good for you!

372
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,268
But wait!
I left her office...

373
00:22:29,512 --> 00:22:33,608
...and she caught up with me
and offered me a bigger part.

374
00:22:34,016 --> 00:22:34,948
So, and?

375
00:22:36,619 --> 00:22:41,113
So, you are now looking at
Dr. Drake Ramoray, neurosurgeon...

376
00:22:41,357 --> 00:22:43,917
... recurring in
at least four episodes!

377
00:22:45,194 --> 00:22:47,025
All right, I gotta go shower.

378
00:23:03,245 --> 00:23:05,679
I guess you guys heard
Rachel dumped me.

379
00:23:05,915 --> 00:23:07,348
Yeah, I'm sorry, man.

380
00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:10,348
She said I remind her
too much of somebody.

381
00:23:10,553 --> 00:23:12,384
Any idea who
she's talking about?

382
00:23:14,323 --> 00:23:16,985
Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.

383
00:23:18,928 --> 00:23:20,486
She hates him.

384
00:23:22,098 --> 00:23:23,224
Hey, Julie!

385
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:25,056
How are you doing?

386
00:23:25,267 --> 00:23:28,430
I don't know. It's weird
not being with Ross...

387
00:23:28,671 --> 00:23:30,764
... but I guess I'm doing okay.

388
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,838
Actually, I've got some
of his stuff that he....

389
00:23:42,038 --> 00:23:44,438
-Have we met?
-I don't think so.

390
00:23:44,438 --> 00:23:46,038
You look so familiar.

391
00:23:47,838 --> 00:23:52,538
May be we can talk about it
over a cup of coffee.

392
00:23:52,538 --> 00:23:57,538
You know what I'm sick of coffe.
Let's go and get some juice.

393
00:23:58,038 --> 00:24:02,738
all right! bye!