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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with the Lesbian Wedding"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt
Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_One_with_the_Lesbian_Wedding

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,032
Okay, here's his diaper bag...

2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,063
...and his Mr. Winky.

3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,732
And...

4
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:11,301
... him. Hi!

5
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,639
-How did everything go?
-Great!

6
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,042
There was a projectile...

7
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:20,110
...throwing up incident,
but he started it.

8
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,482
We've gotta go.

9
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,251
Oh, right.

10
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,393
I've got some news.
It's about us.

11
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,459
You and me?

12
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,664
No. Susan and me.

13
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,594
The other "us."

14
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,596
We're getting married.

15
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:48,907
As in, "I now pronounce you
wife and wife" married?

16
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,411
We'd like you to come.
We understand if you don't want to.

17
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:57,750
Why wouldn't I want to come?
I had fun at the first wedding.

18
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,255
I just thought that

19
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:05,488
Why shouldn't I be happy for you?
What would it say about me...

20
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,759
...if I couldn't revel
in your joy?

21
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,437
And I'm reveling, baby!
Believe me!

22
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:14,133
Is your finger caught in that chair?

23
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,833
Want us to go?

24
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,471
The One With the Lesbian Wedding

25
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,725
This is cool.
You're actually on television.

26
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,968
I know.
It really hit me last night.

27
00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:14,902
I'm on Days of our Lives.

28
00:02:17,038 --> 00:02:21,771
Then I started thinking about us,
and how these are the days of our lives.

29
00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:25,276
Yes!

30
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,280
What?

31
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:29,307
Carol and Susan's caterer
had a bike accident...

32
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,644
...and she's in a
full-body cast.

33
00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:38,426
They want me to do it, which is cool
since I've never catered...

34
00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:41,327
...and I need the money.
Is this a problem for you, isn't it?

35
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,655
-Would it matter?
-You're so great!

36
00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:45,126
Thank you!

37
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,824
-You're really not going?
-I'm really not.

38
00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:51,799
They already live together.
Why do they need to get married?

39
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,640
They love each other.

40
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,436
They wanna celebrate that love
with the people close to them.

41
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,307
If you wanna call
that a reason.

42
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,747
Who's the bitterest
man in the living room?

43
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,852
The bitterest man
in the living room?

44
00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:10,413
Hi, neighbor.

45
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:17,023
-I thought you were over this.
-That has nothing to do with it.

46
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:20,860
She is my ex-wife, If she were marrying a guy,
you wouldn't expect me to go.

47
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:24,868
If she were marrying a guy,
she'd be the worst lesbian ever.

48
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,274
Did I miss it?

49
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,674
No, I'm on right after this guy
shoots himself.

50
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,979
She's pretty.

51
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,182
And she's really nice.

52
00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:40,320
She taught me about
how to work with the cameras...

53
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,386
...and smell-the-fart acting.

54
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,291
-I'm sorry, what?
-Excuse me?

55
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:52,062
smell-the-fart acting

56
00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:55,225
You got so many lines
to learn so fast that sometimes...

57
00:03:55,532 --> 00:03:58,069
...you need a minute
to remember your next one.

58
00:03:58,069 --> 00:03:59,798
So while you're thinking...

59
00:04:00,004 --> 00:04:03,462
...you take this big pause
where you look all intense.

60
00:04:03,674 --> 00:04:04,698
Like this....

61
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,716
Here's my scene!
Here's my scene!

62
00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,510
Mrs. Wallace?

63
00:04:18,422 --> 00:04:20,822
Dr. Drake Ramoray,
your sister's neurosurgeon.

64
00:04:21,058 --> 00:04:23,151
Is she going to be all right?

65
00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:27,229
I'm afraid the situation
is much more dire than we'd expected.

66
00:04:27,431 --> 00:04:29,729
Your sister's suffering from a...

67
00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:37,698
...subcranial hematoma.

68
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:43,412
Perhaps we can
discuss this further over coffee.

69
00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:50,611
Nice!

70
00:04:52,256 --> 00:04:55,783
For a minute, I thought you were
actually smelling something.

71
00:04:58,596 --> 00:05:00,029
-Do it again!
-All right!

72
00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:02,461
-That was so good!
-Do it again.

73
00:05:03,401 --> 00:05:06,199
"Damn it, Braverman!
It's right there on the chart!"

74
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:11,808
I gotta get to work.
I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.

75
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,067
No, that's me.

76
00:05:13,277 --> 00:05:14,574
Oh, right.

77
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,779
Oh, thanks. Couldn't....

78
00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:24,880
Is everything okay?

79
00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:26,715
No.

80
00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:32,560
One of my clients died
on the massage table today.

81
00:05:32,797 --> 00:05:34,162
Oh, my God!

82
00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:37,725
That's a little more relaxed
than you want them to get.

83
00:05:40,238 --> 00:05:42,900
She was, you know,
82 years old...

84
00:05:43,307 --> 00:05:46,470
...and her name was
Mrs. Adelman.

85
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:47,507
Oh, honey.

86
00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:50,303
It's just so strange. You know...

87
00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:53,244
...she probably woke up
this morning and thought...

88
00:05:53,451 --> 00:05:57,182
... I'll have some breakfast,
take a walk, then have my massage.

89
00:05:57,421 --> 00:06:00,584
Little did she know God thought,
"Okay, but that's it."

90
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:07,092
Oh, but the weirdest things was...

91
00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:10,529
... I was cleansing her aura
when it happened.

92
00:06:10,768 --> 00:06:13,430
And when her spirit
left her body...

93
00:06:13,671 --> 00:06:15,866
... I don't think it went very far.

94
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:17,965
What do you mean?

95
00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:21,276
I think it went into me.

96
00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:31,282
This is so hard.

97
00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:33,548
I can't decide
between lamb or duck.

98
00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,452
Well, lambs are scarier.

99
00:06:35,693 --> 00:06:39,026
Otherwise the movie would've been 
called silence of the Ducks.

100
00:06:40,665 --> 00:06:42,189
Okay, who ordered what?

101
00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:46,732
I had the half-drunk cappuccino
with the lipstick on the rim.

102
00:06:47,338 --> 00:06:50,637
And this with the cigarette
butt in it, is that decaf?

103
00:06:50,841 --> 00:06:52,468
Oh, God.

104
00:06:52,677 --> 00:06:54,804
You're so uptight
about your mom coming.

105
00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:58,311
I know. I just don't want
her to think that because...

106
00:06:58,549 --> 00:07:01,040
... I didn't marry Barry
my life is total crap.

107
00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:04,085
Talk about crap, just
listen to Stella Neidman...

108
00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:07,587
...tell her story about Rod Steiger
for the hundredth time.

109
00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:17,587
I'm sorry. At least you guys haven't 
need to hear staff she said in my head.

110
00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:24,690
Pheebs? How long do you think
this lady will be with us?

111
00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:28,369
I don't know. She obviously
has some unfinished business.

112
00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:29,628
Sit up!

113
00:07:33,042 --> 00:07:34,202
There she is!

114
00:07:34,443 --> 00:07:36,206
-Mom!
-Hey, sweetie!

115
00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:44,976
So this is where you work!

116
00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,415
Oh, it's wonderful!

117
00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:51,615
Is it a living room?
Is it a restaurant? Who can tell?

118
00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:53,890
I guess that's the fun.

119
00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:56,121
Pretty much.
Here, meet my friends.

120
00:07:56,331 --> 00:07:59,266
Monica! You look gorgeous!

121
00:07:59,468 --> 00:08:03,734
Oh, my! The last time I saw you,
it was eat or be eaten.

122
00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:06,130
This is Joey.

123
00:08:06,341 --> 00:08:07,433
This is Phoebe.

124
00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:08,904
This is Chandler.

125
00:08:09,144 --> 00:08:10,236
You remember Ross?

126
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:11,572
Oh, hello, Ross.

127
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:12,779
Mrs. Greene.

128
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,310
What do you think of my
daughter, in the apron...

129
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,680
...with the big job!

130
00:08:20,089 --> 00:08:21,351
Oh, Mom!

131
00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:27,424
If you didn't pour the coffee,
no one would have anything to drink.

132
00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:30,331
Believe me, sometimes that happens.

133
00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:35,835
This is just so exciting!
You know, I never worked.

134
00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:39,302
I went straight from my father's house
to the sorority house...

135
00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:43,239
...to my husband's house.
I am just so proud of you!

136
00:08:43,445 --> 00:08:44,935
Really?

137
00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:47,035
Let's make a day of it!

138
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:51,935
We will have lunch, we will shopping, 
we will get nails done, whatever you want.

139
00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:53,247
Mom, I have to work.

140
00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:56,247
What! No one else can pour coffee?

141
00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:59,681
I know who you remind me of.

142
00:09:00,317 --> 00:09:01,409
Evelyn Durmer.

143
00:09:01,651 --> 00:09:06,520
That's before the lousy face-lift.
Now she looks like Soupy Sales.

144
00:09:10,093 --> 00:09:12,584
Pheebs? Who's Evelyn Durmer?

145
00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:16,354
I don't know.
Who's Soupy Sales?

146
00:09:19,302 --> 00:09:20,200
Oh, my God!

147
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,035
There's an unattractive
nude man playing the cello.

148
00:09:25,475 --> 00:09:28,535
Just be glad he's not playing
a smaller instrument.

149
00:09:32,749 --> 00:09:34,876
You have some life here, sweetie!

150
00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:38,576
Mom, I realize you and dad were upset
when I didn't marry Barry...

151
00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:42,417
...and get the house in the suburbs
with all the security.

152
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,650
This is just
so much better for me.

153
00:09:44,894 --> 00:09:48,830
I do know.
You didn't love Barry, honey.

154
00:09:49,065 --> 00:09:51,625
And I've never seen you this happy.

155
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:55,326
I look at you and I think,
"This is what I want."

156
00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,168
For me.

157
00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:02,509
Well, not just for you.

158
00:10:02,779 --> 00:10:03,803
What do you mean?

159
00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:09,077
I'm considering
leaving your father.

160
00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:14,320
All right, tell me
if this is too cute.

161
00:10:14,591 --> 00:10:17,424
Lesbian wedding...
chicken breasts.

162
00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:24,524
Oh, God.
I think I'm gonna be sick.

163
00:10:24,801 --> 00:10:28,259
What? It's not like I'm putting
little nipples on them.

164
00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:34,259
Oh! Honey, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me.

165
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:41,459
What can I do? You order me to make those martial art trick you used to like.

166
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,959
I can call it Carl Meilong to find out how?

167
00:10:46,459 --> 00:10:49,459
Mom, I just don't understand. 
I thought you are happy.

168
00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:51,759
So did I.

169
00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:59,559
You know sometime you are driving on the highway, and you get home, and you can't actually remember you have driven there.

170
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,259
That's kind of my life being like.

171
00:11:04,459 --> 00:11:06,359
Coundn't you listen to the radio more?

172
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:14,459
I wish it is that easy. But then I see you here and I keep thinking why can't I have this?

173
00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:18,459
I want adventures, I want hang out, I want Chandler.

174
00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:25,459
Believe me, Chandler is no reason to leave daddy!

175
00:11:26,959 --> 00:11:32,459
You think it's something having a lot of fun, 
but it's really hard, really hard.

176
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:37,459
I got this lausy job, I barely know how to make it ramdon. 
Forget about to buying stuff.

177
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:43,959
Honey! You don't understand.
I'm be doing what you are doning, but with money.

178
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:47,459
It's very different.

179
00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:55,332
-You had no idea what they getting along?
-None.

180
00:11:55,577 --> 00:11:57,044
They didn't fight a lot?

181
00:11:57,245 --> 00:11:59,975
No, they didn't even
talk to each other.

182
00:12:00,181 --> 00:12:03,207
How was I suppose to know
they were having problems?

183
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:07,317
You know, in my day,
divorce was not an option.

184
00:12:09,157 --> 00:12:10,385
Hey, look who's up!

185
00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:15,855
I just can't believe
this is happening!

186
00:12:16,064 --> 00:12:18,760
When I was little,
everybody's parents got divorced.

187
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,094
I figured as an grown up,
I wouldn't have to worry about it.

188
00:12:22,337 --> 00:12:25,238
Can't you look at this
as flattering?

189
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,499
She just wants to be like you.

190
00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:30,870
Well, couldn't she have just
copied my haircut?

191
00:12:32,213 --> 00:12:35,080
When my parents divorced,
they sent me to a shrink...

192
00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:38,343
...and she told me
that kids blame themselves.

193
00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:41,350
But in your case,
it's actually kind of true.

194
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:43,552
Oh, that's him.

195
00:12:44,426 --> 00:12:47,589
Damn! My mail-order
grandfather hasn't come yet.

196
00:12:48,797 --> 00:12:50,560
-Phoebe?
-Hi, Mr. Adelman.

197
00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:52,733
-Nice to see you.
-Thanks for meeting me.

198
00:12:52,934 --> 00:12:56,529
That's okay. Although you did
cut into my busy day of sitting.

199
00:12:58,973 --> 00:13:00,270
Do you wanna sit?

200
00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:03,409
No, I spent most of my morning
trying to stand up.

201
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:07,777
What can I do
for you, my dear?

202
00:13:08,049 --> 00:13:11,143
Okay, I don't know how
to say this, but....

203
00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:14,116
I think when your wife's spirit
left her body...

204
00:13:14,322 --> 00:13:16,813
...it kind of stuck around...

205
00:13:17,058 --> 00:13:17,956
...in me.

206
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,920
You're saying
my wife is in you?

207
00:13:21,162 --> 00:13:24,256
Yeah. You don't have to
believe me, but...

208
00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:27,765
...can you think of
any unfinished business she had?

209
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:29,937
Any reason to hang around?

210
00:13:30,171 --> 00:13:31,798
I don't know what to say.

211
00:13:32,073 --> 00:13:34,303
All I can think of is that...

212
00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:38,512
...she used to say that before she died,
she wanted to see everything.

213
00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:41,138
-Everything?
-Everything.

214
00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:43,273
That's a lot of stuff.

215
00:13:43,485 --> 00:13:44,611
Oh, wait, l....

216
00:13:44,819 --> 00:13:48,778
I remember she also said she wanted
to sleep with me one last time.

217
00:13:57,932 --> 00:14:00,958
I'm sorry.
There's laughing in my head.

218
00:14:03,471 --> 00:14:04,938
Worth a shot, huh?

219
00:14:11,212 --> 00:14:12,839
Look at this!

220
00:14:13,314 --> 00:14:16,010
These are all Halloween,
three years ago.

221
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:19,517
My little matini. I love your oral of hair.

222
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,348
Oh, and look, here's Barry.

223
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,644
He came straight
from the office?

224
00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:28,356
Oh, no.
That was his costume.

225
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:34,626
See, he's actually an orthodontist,
but he came as a regular dentist.

226
00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:37,364
He thought that was really funny.

227
00:14:38,864 --> 00:14:39,888
You guys?

228
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:43,067
Remember when I said
that I don't need your help?

229
00:14:43,469 --> 00:14:44,959
Actually, I think you said...

230
00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:47,696
... "Don't touch that
and get out of my kitchen."

231
00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:50,907
Really? Weird.
Anyway....

232
00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:54,569
I planned really well.
I planned and planned.

233
00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:57,705
I just didn't plan
enough time to do it.

234
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,741
-You want some help?
-lf you want.

235
00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:06,986
What a day!

236
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:08,888
I took her everywhere.

237
00:15:11,864 --> 00:15:14,890
The Museum of Modern Art,
Rockefeller Center...

238
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,567
...the Statue of Liberty.

239
00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,066
She's still with you?

240
00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:22,103
Yes. I guess she hasn't
seen everything yet.

241
00:15:23,108 --> 00:15:26,077
Be right back. She has to go
to the bathroom again.

242
00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:30,679
Such a pretty face!

243
00:15:34,253 --> 00:15:37,745
Oh, this is so much fun!
Just the girls!

244
00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:41,723
Do you know what we should do?
Does anybody have any marijuana?

245
00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:42,857
God!

246
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:47,698
Did I have to ask do we have pot.

247
00:15:48,098 --> 00:15:51,261
Look, no one's smoking pot
around all this food.

248
00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,299
Well, that's fine.

249
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,437
I never did it.
I just thought I might.

250
00:15:58,475 --> 00:15:59,737
What's new in sex?

251
00:16:02,579 --> 00:16:04,444
What's new in sex?

252
00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:07,139
The only man I've been with
is your father.

253
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:10,215
I'm dicing. I'm dicing.
I don't hear anything.

254
00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:14,154
This is no offense to your dad,
but I was thinking...

255
00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:15,652
...there might be more.

256
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:19,225
You know what? I cannot
have this conversation with you.

257
00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:20,396
All right.

258
00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:24,624
You come here and drop this bomb on me
before you even tell Daddy.

259
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,462
Do you want my blessing?
Want me to talk you out of it?

260
00:16:28,672 --> 00:16:30,105
Then what do you want?

261
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,638
I guess I figured
you would understand.

262
00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:35,311
Why on earth
would I understand this?

263
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,240
You didn't marry your Barry, honey.

264
00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:41,349
But I married mine.

265
00:16:48,025 --> 00:16:51,756
We're in trouble. We've only got
12 hours and 36 minutes left.

266
00:16:51,995 --> 00:16:53,656
Move, move, move!

267
00:16:54,197 --> 00:16:57,132
I feel like you should
have German subtitles.

268
00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:00,700
Joey, speed it up!

269
00:17:00,971 --> 00:17:04,839
I'm sorry! It's the pigs!
They're reluctant to get in the blanket!

270
00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:09,441
How did this happen?
I thought you had this planned out.

271
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,776
Do you want me to cry?

272
00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:14,783
Is that what you want?

273
00:17:15,018 --> 00:17:16,849
Do you wanna see me cry?

274
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:18,485
Sir, no, sir!

275
00:17:22,225 --> 00:17:23,214
All right, you!

276
00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:27,190
No. Look, I told you,
I am not a part of this thing.

277
00:17:27,397 --> 00:17:31,800
Look, Ross. I know you have issues with
Carol and Susan, and I feel for you.

278
00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:35,062
But if you don't help,
I'm gonna take those hot dogs...

279
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,206
...and create an appetizer
called "Pigs In Ross."

280
00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:40,809
All right, ball a melon!

281
00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:44,138
How come I'm stuck dicing
when he gets to ball a melon?

282
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:52,181
-How's it going?
-Great! Right on schedule.

283
00:17:52,522 --> 00:17:54,717
Got my little happy helpers.

284
00:17:56,393 --> 00:17:57,883
That's fine. Whatever.

285
00:17:58,995 --> 00:17:59,893
What's wrong?

286
00:18:00,197 --> 00:18:01,095
Nothing.

287
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:06,329
Okay, everything.
I think we're calling off the wedding.

288
00:18:07,404 --> 00:18:09,702
You're still gonna pay me, right?

289
00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:14,203
Or something a little less selfish.

290
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:16,412
What's the matter?
What happened?

291
00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:19,514
My parents called to say
they weren't coming.

292
00:18:20,117 --> 00:18:23,518
I knew they were
having trouble with this, but...

293
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:27,622
...they're my parents.
They're supposed to give me away.

294
00:18:28,258 --> 00:18:32,058
Susan and I fought because
I said maybe we should call it off.

295
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:35,287
She said, "This isn't for them.
It's for us."

296
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:38,899
And if I couldn't see that,
we should cancel the wedding.

297
00:18:39,102 --> 00:18:41,070
I don't know what to do.

298
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:46,940
I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
but I think Susan's right.

299
00:18:47,844 --> 00:18:48,776
You do?

300
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:53,807
Do you love her? And don't be
too emphatic about this.

301
00:18:56,086 --> 00:18:57,053
Of course I do.

302
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,878
Well then, that's it.

303
00:18:59,122 --> 00:19:03,218
If George and Adelaide can't
accept that, then the hell with them.

304
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:07,559
If my parents didn't want me
to marry you...

305
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,732
... no way that would've
stopped me.

306
00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:12,958
Look, this is your wedding.

307
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,059
Do it.

308
00:19:18,175 --> 00:19:20,336
You're right.
Of course you're right.

309
00:19:20,777 --> 00:19:21,971
So we're back on?

310
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,739
We're back on.

311
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,847
You heard the woman!
Peel! Chop! Devil!

312
00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:31,250
Can't believe
I lost two minutes!

313
00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:43,590
It just seems so futile.

314
00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:47,496
You know?
All these women, and nothing!

315
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,439
I feel like Superman
without my powers, you know?

316
00:19:54,344 --> 00:19:57,939
I have the cape,
and yet I cannot fly.

317
00:20:00,183 --> 00:20:03,550
Well, now you understand
how I feel every single day.

318
00:20:05,055 --> 00:20:08,047
The world is my lesbian wedding.

319
00:20:19,236 --> 00:20:20,567
Butterscotch?

320
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,169
No one?

321
00:20:23,406 --> 00:20:26,068
All right,
you'll be sorry later.

322
00:21:00,944 --> 00:21:02,571
-Thank you.
-Anytime.

323
00:21:06,416 --> 00:21:07,280
Ross.

324
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,088
Nothing makes God happier...

325
00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:18,091
...than when two people, any two people,
come together in love.

326
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,729
Friends, family,
we're gathered here today...

327
00:21:21,965 --> 00:21:24,525
...to join Carol and Susan
in holy matrimony.

328
00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:26,099
Oh, my God!

329
00:21:26,436 --> 00:21:28,631
Now I've seen everything!

330
00:21:32,075 --> 00:21:33,474
She's gone!

331
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,734
She's gone!

332
00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:35,877
She's gone.

333
00:21:36,112 --> 00:21:38,706
Go ahead, get married.
Go, go!

334
00:21:40,483 --> 00:21:43,452
Strangers in the night

335
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,984
Exchanging glances

336
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,883
Wondering in the night

337
00:21:48,124 --> 00:21:49,455
Would you look at them?

338
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:52,092
Yeah. Can't help but.

339
00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,567
How's that pig-in-the-blanket
working out for you?

340
00:22:01,605 --> 00:22:03,664
I wrapped those bad boys.

341
00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:06,568
I miss Rose.

342
00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:07,640
Oh, yeah?

343
00:22:07,844 --> 00:22:12,679
I know it's kind of weird, but
she was a big part of my life....

344
00:22:12,949 --> 00:22:14,644
I don't know, I feel alone.

345
00:22:15,485 --> 00:22:20,286
You know, I couldn't help
overhearing what you just said.

346
00:22:21,191 --> 00:22:25,594
I think it's time you forget about Rose,
move on with your life.

347
00:22:25,862 --> 00:22:27,489
How about we get you a drink?

348
00:22:27,697 --> 00:22:29,460
Okay. So nice!

349
00:22:37,641 --> 00:22:40,542
I shouldn't even bother
coming up with a line, right?

350
00:22:43,647 --> 00:22:45,205
Hey, Mom, having fun?

351
00:22:45,515 --> 00:22:50,179
Am l! I just danced
with a wonderfully large woman.

352
00:22:51,054 --> 00:22:54,512
And three other girls
made eyes at me over at the buffet.

353
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,282
I'm not saying
it's something I wanna pursue...

354
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,790
... but it's nice to know
I have options.

355
00:23:02,999 --> 00:23:04,796
There's more alcohol, right?

356
00:23:09,706 --> 00:23:11,037
How you doing?

357
00:23:14,844 --> 00:23:16,903
You did a good thing today.

358
00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:22,842
You wanna dance?

359
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,217
No, that's fine.

360
00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:27,182
Come on.

361
00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:29,589
I'll let you lead.

362
00:23:48,244 --> 00:23:49,871
Look, penis, schmenis!

363
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,909
Okay? We're all people.

364
00:24:01,825 --> 00:24:05,454
Which one of us is gonna be
the first one to get married?

365
00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:07,587
Mon, I was married.

366
00:24:07,797 --> 00:24:10,664
-Yeah, me too, technically.
-I had a wedding.

367
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:13,335
Just trying to
start a discussion.

368
00:24:14,404 --> 00:24:18,067
Which one do you think
will be the last to get married?

369
00:24:22,578 --> 00:24:23,909
Isn't Ben in this?

370
00:24:24,113 --> 00:24:24,977
Of course!

371
00:24:25,181 --> 00:24:26,045
Absolutely.