General Information[]
| Title | "The One with the Lesbian Wedding" |
| Format | SubRip |
| Extension | .srt |
| Wikipedia article | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_One_with_the_Lesbian_Wedding |
Subtitles[]
1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,032 Okay, here's his diaper bag... 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,063 ...and his Mr. Winky. 3 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,732 And... 4 00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:11,301 ... him. Hi! 5 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,639 -How did everything go? -Great! 6 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,042 There was a projectile... 7 00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:20,110 ...throwing up incident, but he started it. 8 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,482 We've gotta go. 9 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,251 Oh, right. 10 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,393 I've got some news. It's about us. 11 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,459 You and me? 12 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,664 No. Susan and me. 13 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,594 The other "us." 14 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,596 We're getting married. 15 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:48,907 As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? 16 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,411 We'd like you to come. We understand if you don't want to. 17 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:57,750 Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. 18 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,255 I just thought that 19 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:05,488 Why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me... 20 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,759 ...if I couldn't revel in your joy? 21 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,437 And I'm reveling, baby! Believe me! 22 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:14,133 Is your finger caught in that chair? 23 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,833 Want us to go? 24 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,471 The One With the Lesbian Wedding 25 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,725 This is cool. You're actually on television. 26 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,968 I know. It really hit me last night. 27 00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:14,902 I'm on Days of our Lives. 28 00:02:17,038 --> 00:02:21,771 Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives. 29 00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:25,276 Yes! 30 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,280 What? 31 00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:29,307 Carol and Susan's caterer had a bike accident... 32 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,644 ...and she's in a full-body cast. 33 00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:38,426 They want me to do it, which is cool since I've never catered... 34 00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:41,327 ...and I need the money. Is this a problem for you, isn't it? 35 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,655 -Would it matter? -You're so great! 36 00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:45,126 Thank you! 37 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,824 -You're really not going? -I'm really not. 38 00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:51,799 They already live together. Why do they need to get married? 39 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,640 They love each other. 40 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:57,436 They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. 41 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,307 If you wanna call that a reason. 42 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,747 Who's the bitterest man in the living room? 43 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,852 The bitterest man in the living room? 44 00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:10,413 Hi, neighbor. 45 00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:17,023 -I thought you were over this. -That has nothing to do with it. 46 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:20,860 She is my ex-wife, If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go. 47 00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:24,868 If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever. 48 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,274 Did I miss it? 49 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:32,674 No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself. 50 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,979 She's pretty. 51 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,182 And she's really nice. 52 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:40,320 She taught me about how to work with the cameras... 53 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,386 ...and smell-the-fart acting. 54 00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,291 -I'm sorry, what? -Excuse me? 55 00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:52,062 smell-the-fart acting 56 00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:55,225 You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes... 57 00:03:55,532 --> 00:03:58,069 ...you need a minute to remember your next one. 58 00:03:58,069 --> 00:03:59,798 So while you're thinking... 59 00:04:00,004 --> 00:04:03,462 ...you take this big pause where you look all intense. 60 00:04:03,674 --> 00:04:04,698 Like this.... 61 00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,716 Here's my scene! Here's my scene! 62 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,510 Mrs. Wallace? 63 00:04:18,422 --> 00:04:20,822 Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. 64 00:04:21,058 --> 00:04:23,151 Is she going to be all right? 65 00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:27,229 I'm afraid the situation is much more dire than we'd expected. 66 00:04:27,431 --> 00:04:29,729 Your sister's suffering from a... 67 00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:37,698 ...subcranial hematoma. 68 00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:43,412 Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. 69 00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:50,611 Nice! 70 00:04:52,256 --> 00:04:55,783 For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something. 71 00:04:58,596 --> 00:05:00,029 -Do it again! -All right! 72 00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:02,461 -That was so good! -Do it again. 73 00:05:03,401 --> 00:05:06,199 "Damn it, Braverman! It's right there on the chart!" 74 00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:11,808 I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. 75 00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,067 No, that's me. 76 00:05:13,277 --> 00:05:14,574 Oh, right. 77 00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,779 Oh, thanks. Couldn't.... 78 00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:24,880 Is everything okay? 79 00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:26,715 No. 80 00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:32,560 One of my clients died on the massage table today. 81 00:05:32,797 --> 00:05:34,162 Oh, my God! 82 00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:37,725 That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get. 83 00:05:40,238 --> 00:05:42,900 She was, you know, 82 years old... 84 00:05:43,307 --> 00:05:46,470 ...and her name was Mrs. Adelman. 85 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:47,507 Oh, honey. 86 00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:50,303 It's just so strange. You know... 87 00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:53,244 ...she probably woke up this morning and thought... 88 00:05:53,451 --> 00:05:57,182 ... I'll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage. 89 00:05:57,421 --> 00:06:00,584 Little did she know God thought, "Okay, but that's it." 90 00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:07,092 Oh, but the weirdest things was... 91 00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:10,529 ... I was cleansing her aura when it happened. 92 00:06:10,768 --> 00:06:13,430 And when her spirit left her body... 93 00:06:13,671 --> 00:06:15,866 ... I don't think it went very far. 94 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:17,965 What do you mean? 95 00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:21,276 I think it went into me. 96 00:06:30,054 --> 00:06:31,282 This is so hard. 97 00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:33,548 I can't decide between lamb or duck. 98 00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,452 Well, lambs are scarier. 99 00:06:35,693 --> 00:06:39,026 Otherwise the movie would've been called silence of the Ducks. 100 00:06:40,665 --> 00:06:42,189 Okay, who ordered what? 101 00:06:42,466 --> 00:06:46,732 I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. 102 00:06:47,338 --> 00:06:50,637 And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? 103 00:06:50,841 --> 00:06:52,468 Oh, God. 104 00:06:52,677 --> 00:06:54,804 You're so uptight about your mom coming. 105 00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:58,311 I know. I just don't want her to think that because... 106 00:06:58,549 --> 00:07:01,040 ... I didn't marry Barry my life is total crap. 107 00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:04,085 Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman... 108 00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:07,587 ...tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. 109 00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:17,587 I'm sorry. At least you guys haven't need to hear staff she said in my head. 110 00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:24,690 Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? 111 00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:28,369 I don't know. She obviously has some unfinished business. 112 00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:29,628 Sit up! 113 00:07:33,042 --> 00:07:34,202 There she is! 114 00:07:34,443 --> 00:07:36,206 -Mom! -Hey, sweetie! 115 00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:44,976 So this is where you work! 116 00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:47,415 Oh, it's wonderful! 117 00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:51,615 Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? 118 00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:53,890 I guess that's the fun. 119 00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:56,121 Pretty much. Here, meet my friends. 120 00:07:56,331 --> 00:07:59,266 Monica! You look gorgeous! 121 00:07:59,468 --> 00:08:03,734 Oh, my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. 122 00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:06,130 This is Joey. 123 00:08:06,341 --> 00:08:07,433 This is Phoebe. 124 00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:08,904 This is Chandler. 125 00:08:09,144 --> 00:08:10,236 You remember Ross? 126 00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:11,572 Oh, hello, Ross. 127 00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:12,779 Mrs. Greene. 128 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,310 What do you think of my daughter, in the apron... 129 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,680 ...with the big job! 130 00:08:20,089 --> 00:08:21,351 Oh, Mom! 131 00:08:22,691 --> 00:08:27,424 If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. 132 00:08:27,863 --> 00:08:30,331 Believe me, sometimes that happens. 133 00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:35,835 This is just so exciting! You know, I never worked. 134 00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:39,302 I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house... 135 00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:43,239 ...to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you! 136 00:08:43,445 --> 00:08:44,935 Really? 137 00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:47,035 Let's make a day of it! 138 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:51,935 We will have lunch, we will shopping, we will get nails done, whatever you want. 139 00:08:52,435 --> 00:08:53,247 Mom, I have to work. 140 00:08:54,247 --> 00:08:56,247 What! No one else can pour coffee? 141 00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:59,681 I know who you remind me of. 142 00:09:00,317 --> 00:09:01,409 Evelyn Durmer. 143 00:09:01,651 --> 00:09:06,520 That's before the lousy face-lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. 144 00:09:10,093 --> 00:09:12,584 Pheebs? Who's Evelyn Durmer? 145 00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:16,354 I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales? 146 00:09:19,302 --> 00:09:20,200 Oh, my God! 147 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,035 There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. 148 00:09:25,475 --> 00:09:28,535 Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument. 149 00:09:32,749 --> 00:09:34,876 You have some life here, sweetie! 150 00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:38,576 Mom, I realize you and dad were upset when I didn't marry Barry... 151 00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:42,417 ...and get the house in the suburbs with all the security. 152 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,650 This is just so much better for me. 153 00:09:44,894 --> 00:09:48,830 I do know. You didn't love Barry, honey. 154 00:09:49,065 --> 00:09:51,625 And I've never seen you this happy. 155 00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:55,326 I look at you and I think, "This is what I want." 156 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,168 For me. 157 00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:02,509 Well, not just for you. 158 00:10:02,779 --> 00:10:03,803 What do you mean? 159 00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:09,077 I'm considering leaving your father. 160 00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:14,320 All right, tell me if this is too cute. 161 00:10:14,591 --> 00:10:17,424 Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts. 162 00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:24,524 Oh, God. I think I'm gonna be sick. 163 00:10:24,801 --> 00:10:28,259 What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them. 164 00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:34,259 Oh! Honey, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. 165 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:41,459 What can I do? You order me to make those martial art trick you used to like. 166 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,959 I can call it Carl Meilong to find out how? 167 00:10:46,459 --> 00:10:49,459 Mom, I just don't understand. I thought you are happy. 168 00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:51,759 So did I. 169 00:10:52,159 --> 00:10:59,559 You know sometime you are driving on the highway, and you get home, and you can't actually remember you have driven there. 170 00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,259 That's kind of my life being like. 171 00:11:04,459 --> 00:11:06,359 Coundn't you listen to the radio more? 172 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:14,459 I wish it is that easy. But then I see you here and I keep thinking why can't I have this? 173 00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:18,459 I want adventures, I want hang out, I want Chandler. 174 00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:25,459 Believe me, Chandler is no reason to leave daddy! 175 00:11:26,959 --> 00:11:32,459 You think it's something having a lot of fun, but it's really hard, really hard. 176 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:37,459 I got this lausy job, I barely know how to make it ramdon. Forget about to buying stuff. 177 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:43,959 Honey! You don't understand. I'm be doing what you are doning, but with money. 178 00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:47,459 It's very different. 179 00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:55,332 -You had no idea what they getting along? -None. 180 00:11:55,577 --> 00:11:57,044 They didn't fight a lot? 181 00:11:57,245 --> 00:11:59,975 No, they didn't even talk to each other. 182 00:12:00,181 --> 00:12:03,207 How was I suppose to know they were having problems? 183 00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:07,317 You know, in my day, divorce was not an option. 184 00:12:09,157 --> 00:12:10,385 Hey, look who's up! 185 00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:15,855 I just can't believe this is happening! 186 00:12:16,064 --> 00:12:18,760 When I was little, everybody's parents got divorced. 187 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,094 I figured as an grown up, I wouldn't have to worry about it. 188 00:12:22,337 --> 00:12:25,238 Can't you look at this as flattering? 189 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,499 She just wants to be like you. 190 00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:30,870 Well, couldn't she have just copied my haircut? 191 00:12:32,213 --> 00:12:35,080 When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink... 192 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:38,343 ...and she told me that kids blame themselves. 193 00:12:38,586 --> 00:12:41,350 But in your case, it's actually kind of true. 194 00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:43,552 Oh, that's him. 195 00:12:44,426 --> 00:12:47,589 Damn! My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet. 196 00:12:48,797 --> 00:12:50,560 -Phoebe? -Hi, Mr. Adelman. 197 00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:52,733 -Nice to see you. -Thanks for meeting me. 198 00:12:52,934 --> 00:12:56,529 That's okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. 199 00:12:58,973 --> 00:13:00,270 Do you wanna sit? 200 00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:03,409 No, I spent most of my morning trying to stand up. 201 00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:07,777 What can I do for you, my dear? 202 00:13:08,049 --> 00:13:11,143 Okay, I don't know how to say this, but.... 203 00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:14,116 I think when your wife's spirit left her body... 204 00:13:14,322 --> 00:13:16,813 ...it kind of stuck around... 205 00:13:17,058 --> 00:13:17,956 ...in me. 206 00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,920 You're saying my wife is in you? 207 00:13:21,162 --> 00:13:24,256 Yeah. You don't have to believe me, but... 208 00:13:24,466 --> 00:13:27,765 ...can you think of any unfinished business she had? 209 00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:29,937 Any reason to hang around? 210 00:13:30,171 --> 00:13:31,798 I don't know what to say. 211 00:13:32,073 --> 00:13:34,303 All I can think of is that... 212 00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:38,512 ...she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. 213 00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:41,138 -Everything? -Everything. 214 00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:43,273 That's a lot of stuff. 215 00:13:43,485 --> 00:13:44,611 Oh, wait, l.... 216 00:13:44,819 --> 00:13:48,778 I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. 217 00:13:57,932 --> 00:14:00,958 I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head. 218 00:14:03,471 --> 00:14:04,938 Worth a shot, huh? 219 00:14:11,212 --> 00:14:12,839 Look at this! 220 00:14:13,314 --> 00:14:16,010 These are all Halloween, three years ago. 221 00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:19,517 My little matini. I love your oral of hair. 222 00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,348 Oh, and look, here's Barry. 223 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,644 He came straight from the office? 224 00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:28,356 Oh, no. That was his costume. 225 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:34,626 See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. 226 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:37,364 He thought that was really funny. 227 00:14:38,864 --> 00:14:39,888 You guys? 228 00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:43,067 Remember when I said that I don't need your help? 229 00:14:43,469 --> 00:14:44,959 Actually, I think you said... 230 00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:47,696 ... "Don't touch that and get out of my kitchen." 231 00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:50,907 Really? Weird. Anyway.... 232 00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:54,569 I planned really well. I planned and planned. 233 00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:57,705 I just didn't plan enough time to do it. 234 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,741 -You want some help? -lf you want. 235 00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:06,986 What a day! 236 00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:08,888 I took her everywhere. 237 00:15:11,864 --> 00:15:14,890 The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center... 238 00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,567 ...the Statue of Liberty. 239 00:15:16,769 --> 00:15:18,066 She's still with you? 240 00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:22,103 Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. 241 00:15:23,108 --> 00:15:26,077 Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. 242 00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:30,679 Such a pretty face! 243 00:15:34,253 --> 00:15:37,745 Oh, this is so much fun! Just the girls! 244 00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:41,723 Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? 245 00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:42,857 God! 246 00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:47,698 Did I have to ask do we have pot. 247 00:15:48,098 --> 00:15:51,261 Look, no one's smoking pot around all this food. 248 00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,299 Well, that's fine. 249 00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,437 I never did it. I just thought I might. 250 00:15:58,475 --> 00:15:59,737 What's new in sex? 251 00:16:02,579 --> 00:16:04,444 What's new in sex? 252 00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:07,139 The only man I've been with is your father. 253 00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:10,215 I'm dicing. I'm dicing. I don't hear anything. 254 00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:14,154 This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking... 255 00:16:14,424 --> 00:16:15,652 ...there might be more. 256 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:19,225 You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. 257 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:20,396 All right. 258 00:16:20,597 --> 00:16:24,624 You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy. 259 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,462 Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it? 260 00:16:28,672 --> 00:16:30,105 Then what do you want? 261 00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,638 I guess I figured you would understand. 262 00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:35,311 Why on earth would I understand this? 263 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,240 You didn't marry your Barry, honey. 264 00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:41,349 But I married mine. 265 00:16:48,025 --> 00:16:51,756 We're in trouble. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. 266 00:16:51,995 --> 00:16:53,656 Move, move, move! 267 00:16:54,197 --> 00:16:57,132 I feel like you should have German subtitles. 268 00:16:59,369 --> 00:17:00,700 Joey, speed it up! 269 00:17:00,971 --> 00:17:04,839 I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blanket! 270 00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:09,441 How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out. 271 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,776 Do you want me to cry? 272 00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:14,783 Is that what you want? 273 00:17:15,018 --> 00:17:16,849 Do you wanna see me cry? 274 00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:18,485 Sir, no, sir! 275 00:17:22,225 --> 00:17:23,214 All right, you! 276 00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:27,190 No. Look, I told you, I am not a part of this thing. 277 00:17:27,397 --> 00:17:31,800 Look, Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you. 278 00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:35,062 But if you don't help, I'm gonna take those hot dogs... 279 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,206 ...and create an appetizer called "Pigs In Ross." 280 00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:40,809 All right, ball a melon! 281 00:17:41,044 --> 00:17:44,138 How come I'm stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon? 282 00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:52,181 -How's it going? -Great! Right on schedule. 283 00:17:52,522 --> 00:17:54,717 Got my little happy helpers. 284 00:17:56,393 --> 00:17:57,883 That's fine. Whatever. 285 00:17:58,995 --> 00:17:59,893 What's wrong? 286 00:18:00,197 --> 00:18:01,095 Nothing. 287 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:06,329 Okay, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding. 288 00:18:07,404 --> 00:18:09,702 You're still gonna pay me, right? 289 00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:14,203 Or something a little less selfish. 290 00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:16,412 What's the matter? What happened? 291 00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:19,514 My parents called to say they weren't coming. 292 00:18:20,117 --> 00:18:23,518 I knew they were having trouble with this, but... 293 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:27,622 ...they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away. 294 00:18:28,258 --> 00:18:32,058 Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off. 295 00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:35,287 She said, "This isn't for them. It's for us." 296 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:38,899 And if I couldn't see that, we should cancel the wedding. 297 00:18:39,102 --> 00:18:41,070 I don't know what to do. 298 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:46,940 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right. 299 00:18:47,844 --> 00:18:48,776 You do? 300 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:53,807 Do you love her? And don't be too emphatic about this. 301 00:18:56,086 --> 00:18:57,053 Of course I do. 302 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,878 Well then, that's it. 303 00:18:59,122 --> 00:19:03,218 If George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. 304 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:07,559 If my parents didn't want me to marry you... 305 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,732 ... no way that would've stopped me. 306 00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:12,958 Look, this is your wedding. 307 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,059 Do it. 308 00:19:18,175 --> 00:19:20,336 You're right. Of course you're right. 309 00:19:20,777 --> 00:19:21,971 So we're back on? 310 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,739 We're back on. 311 00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,847 You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil! 312 00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:31,250 Can't believe I lost two minutes! 313 00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:43,590 It just seems so futile. 314 00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:47,496 You know? All these women, and nothing! 315 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,439 I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? 316 00:19:54,344 --> 00:19:57,939 I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. 317 00:20:00,183 --> 00:20:03,550 Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. 318 00:20:05,055 --> 00:20:08,047 The world is my lesbian wedding. 319 00:20:19,236 --> 00:20:20,567 Butterscotch? 320 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,169 No one? 321 00:20:23,406 --> 00:20:26,068 All right, you'll be sorry later. 322 00:21:00,944 --> 00:21:02,571 -Thank you. -Anytime. 323 00:21:06,416 --> 00:21:07,280 Ross. 324 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,088 Nothing makes God happier... 325 00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:18,091 ...than when two people, any two people, come together in love. 326 00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,729 Friends, family, we're gathered here today... 327 00:21:21,965 --> 00:21:24,525 ...to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. 328 00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:26,099 Oh, my God! 329 00:21:26,436 --> 00:21:28,631 Now I've seen everything! 330 00:21:32,075 --> 00:21:33,474 She's gone! 331 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:34,734 She's gone! 332 00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:35,877 She's gone. 333 00:21:36,112 --> 00:21:38,706 Go ahead, get married. Go, go! 334 00:21:40,483 --> 00:21:43,452 Strangers in the night 335 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,984 Exchanging glances 336 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,883 Wondering in the night 337 00:21:48,124 --> 00:21:49,455 Would you look at them? 338 00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:52,092 Yeah. Can't help but. 339 00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,567 How's that pig-in-the-blanket working out for you? 340 00:22:01,605 --> 00:22:03,664 I wrapped those bad boys. 341 00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:06,568 I miss Rose. 342 00:22:06,776 --> 00:22:07,640 Oh, yeah? 343 00:22:07,844 --> 00:22:12,679 I know it's kind of weird, but she was a big part of my life.... 344 00:22:12,949 --> 00:22:14,644 I don't know, I feel alone. 345 00:22:15,485 --> 00:22:20,286 You know, I couldn't help overhearing what you just said. 346 00:22:21,191 --> 00:22:25,594 I think it's time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. 347 00:22:25,862 --> 00:22:27,489 How about we get you a drink? 348 00:22:27,697 --> 00:22:29,460 Okay. So nice! 349 00:22:37,641 --> 00:22:40,542 I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? 350 00:22:43,647 --> 00:22:45,205 Hey, Mom, having fun? 351 00:22:45,515 --> 00:22:50,179 Am l! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. 352 00:22:51,054 --> 00:22:54,512 And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet. 353 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,282 I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue... 354 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,790 ... but it's nice to know I have options. 355 00:23:02,999 --> 00:23:04,796 There's more alcohol, right? 356 00:23:09,706 --> 00:23:11,037 How you doing? 357 00:23:14,844 --> 00:23:16,903 You did a good thing today. 358 00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:22,842 You wanna dance? 359 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,217 No, that's fine. 360 00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:27,182 Come on. 361 00:23:27,724 --> 00:23:29,589 I'll let you lead. 362 00:23:48,244 --> 00:23:49,871 Look, penis, schmenis! 363 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,909 Okay? We're all people. 364 00:24:01,825 --> 00:24:05,454 Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married? 365 00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:07,587 Mon, I was married. 366 00:24:07,797 --> 00:24:10,664 -Yeah, me too, technically. -I had a wedding. 367 00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:13,335 Just trying to start a discussion. 368 00:24:14,404 --> 00:24:18,067 Which one do you think will be the last to get married? 369 00:24:22,578 --> 00:24:23,909 Isn't Ben in this? 370 00:24:24,113 --> 00:24:24,977 Of course! 371 00:24:25,181 --> 00:24:26,045 Absolutely.