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General InformationEdit

Title "The One Where Eddie Won't Go"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:08,967
Hey, Eddie.

2
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:13,475
-What are you doing here?
-Watching you sleep.

3
00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:16,412
Why?

4
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,446
It makes me feel peaceful.

5
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:20,483
Please.

6
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:22,582
I can't sleep now!

7
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:23,984
You want me to sing?

8
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:30,093
That's it. I want you
out of the apartment now!

9
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,265
What are you talking about?

10
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,931
Hannibal Lecter?

11
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,603
Better roommate than you.

12
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:41,939
I don't think you're being fair! One
night you see me and you get scared.

13
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,145
What about the other nights
when you don't see me?

14
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:48,081
Last night you went
and got some water...

15
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,681
...and I was nice enough
to hide behind the door.

16
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,279
I didn't realize that.

17
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:56,581
Get out now!

18
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,319
You really want me out?

19
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,493
Yes, please.

20
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,355
Then I want to hear you say
you want me out.

21
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:04,856
I want you out.

22
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,760
I want to hear it from your lips.

23
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,632
Where'd you hear it before?

24
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,931
All right. You know what?
Consider me gone.

25
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:17,931
I will go to my brother's basement.
When he find out, I will find another man's house.

26
00:01:19,207 --> 00:01:22,438
I'll be out by the time
you get home from work tomorrow.

27
00:01:23,978 --> 00:01:25,969
-Thank you.
-I heard that.

28
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:30,008
The One Where Eddie Won't Go

29
00:02:18,435 --> 00:02:20,164
Well, look at you!

30
00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:23,098
Finally got that
time machine working, huh?

31
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,738
You like it?

32
00:02:25,008 --> 00:02:27,772
This guy was selling them
on 8th Avenue and I thought...

33
00:02:28,011 --> 00:02:29,069
... "You know what I don't have?"

34
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,746
A mirror?

35
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:34,779
Fine, make fun.
I think it's jaunty.

36
00:02:36,186 --> 00:02:39,587
For a guy who's recently lost his job,
you're in a good mood.

37
00:02:39,856 --> 00:02:43,019
I'll be all right.
I'm not starting from square one.

38
00:02:43,259 --> 00:02:46,854
I was Dr. Drake Ramoray
on Days of our Lives.

39
00:02:47,597 --> 00:02:49,656
That's got to have some kind of cachet.

40
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,797
Cachet? Jaunty?

41
00:02:53,136 --> 00:02:55,798
Chandler gave me
word-of-the-day toilet paper.

42
00:02:57,841 --> 00:02:59,331
I'm gonna get some coffee.

43
00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:04,512
Go on, you know you want to.

44
00:03:16,512 --> 00:03:18,343
So? Did you read the book?

45
00:03:18,614 --> 00:03:20,707
Oh, my God.
It was incredible!

46
00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:23,211
Didn't it, like,
totally speak to you?

47
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:24,544
What book is this?

48
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:29,224
You have to read this book.
It's called Be Your Own Wind Keeper.

49
00:03:29,492 --> 00:03:31,551
It's about how women need
to become more empowered.

50
00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:34,386
But there's wind.

51
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,829
And the wind can make us goddesses.

52
00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:42,731
Do you know who takes our wind?
Men. They just take it.

53
00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:46,304
Men just take our wind?

54
00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:50,470
All the time. Because they
are the lightning-bearers.

55
00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:56,482
That sounds kind of cool.
It's like The Hobbit.

56
00:03:57,219 --> 00:03:59,653
It is nothing like The Hobbit.

57
00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:02,717
It's like reading about
every relationship I've ever had.

58
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:04,085
Except for Richard.

59
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:06,886
Richard would never steal your wind.

60
00:04:08,063 --> 00:04:09,655
Because he's yummy.

61
00:04:10,766 --> 00:04:11,858
But all the others.

62
00:04:12,467 --> 00:04:15,300
And the part about how
they're always drinking...

63
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:17,401
...from our pool of inner power.

64
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,903
But God forbid we should take a sip.

65
00:04:19,908 --> 00:04:21,535
Anybody want a cruller?

66
00:04:21,544 --> 00:04:23,842
This is a typical
lightning-bearer thing.

67
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,247
It's like...

68
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:29,610
... "Hello. Who wants one of
my phallic-shaped man-cakes?"

69
00:04:46,293 --> 00:04:49,353
Don't worry about it, already!
Things happen.

70
00:04:51,632 --> 00:04:54,795
You're not mad at me
for getting fired and everything?

71
00:04:55,602 --> 00:04:56,933
Look at me.

72
00:04:57,438 --> 00:04:58,928
Look at me!

73
00:05:00,774 --> 00:05:03,208
Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

74
00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:08,608
Can we get back to me?

75
00:05:08,816 --> 00:05:13,048
Look, honey. People get fired
left and right in this business.

76
00:05:13,287 --> 00:05:16,085
I already got you an audition
for Another World.

77
00:05:16,590 --> 00:05:17,818
All right!

78
00:05:18,792 --> 00:05:20,419
"Cab Driver Number 2"?

79
00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:22,292
You're welcome.

80
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,432
But I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

81
00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:30,133
How can I go from being
a neurosurgeon to driving a cab?

82
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,801
Things change. Roll with them.

83
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,269
But this is a two-line part!

84
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,637
It's like taking a step backwards.

85
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,746
I'm not gonna do this.

86
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,976
I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I told Al Minza...

87
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,314
...and his pyramid of dogs.

88
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:01,093
Take any job you can get,
and don't make on the floor.

89
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,657
I'm sorry.

90
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,459
I'll see you.

91
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,094
God!

92
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,697
Oh, God!
I mean, it's just so....

93
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,133
Isn't it?

94
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,475
This is like reading
about my own life!

95
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:21,477
This book could have been called
Be Your Own Wind Keeper, Rachel!

96
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:24,349
It wouldn't have sold
a million copies...

97
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,712
...but it would've made
a nice gift for you.

98
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,549
Sweetie, we've got to go.

99
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:40,998
No! Why do we always have to do
everything according to your timetable?

100
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,466
Actually, it's the movie theater
that has the timetable.

101
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,399
It's so you don't miss the beginning.

102
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:53,612
This isn't about the movie theater.
This is about you stealing my wind.

103
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,239
You go, girl!

104
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,382
I can't pull that off, can l?

105
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:07,092
Excuse me, your wind?

106
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,851
Yes, my wind.

107
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,589
How do you expect me to grow
if you won't let me blow?

108
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,164
You know I don't...

109
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,938
... have a problem with that.

110
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:40,622
I just really need to be
with myself right now.

111
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:42,858
I'm sorry.

112
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,930
You're right.
I don't have to apologize.

113
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,425
Sorry. Damn it!

114
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,700
-What is it?
-I don't know.

115
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,640
It's got all this stuff
about wind and trees...

116
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,541
...and some sacred pool.

117
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,912
I don't really get it.
But she's pretty upset about it.

118
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,950
This is why I don't date
women who read.

119
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,256
What's that?

120
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,584
It's my VlSA bill.

121
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,127
Envelope one of two.

122
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,963
-That can't be good.
-Open it, open it.

123
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,103
Oh, my God!

124
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:31,740
Look at this!
How did I spend so much money?

125
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,842
That's just the minimum amount.
That's your total.

126
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:41,443
Thirty-five hundred dollars
at "Porcelain Safari"?

127
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,087
My animals.

128
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,318
The guy said they suited me. He spoke
with an accent. I was confused.

129
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,927
I don't know what to do!

130
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:54,099
You can start by driving a cab
on Another World.

131
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,028
-What?
-That audition?

132
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,930
That's a two-line part!

133
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:02,264
Joey, you owe $1100
at "I Love Lucite."

134
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,837
-So what?
-So suck it up, man.

135
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,703
It's a job. It's money.

136
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:10,676
I don't need you getting judgmental
and condescending and pedantic.

137
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,182
Toilet paper?

138
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,053
I'm not being any of those things.
I'm being realistic.

139
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,123
You're supposed to be my friend!

140
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,191
I am your friend.

141
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,487
Then tell me things like,
"You'll be fine."

142
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,859
And "Something big's gonna
come along. I know it!"

143
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,399
But I don't know it.

144
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:33,163
What I do know is you owe $2300
at "lsn't It Chromantic?"

145
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,403
I'm aware of what I owe.

146
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:40,510
Then get some sense.
It took you 10 years to get that job.

147
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,547
-How long till you get another?
-I don't want to hear this!

148
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,842
I'm just saying....

149
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,178
Well, don't "just say"!

150
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,021
Maybe I should just go.

151
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,584
I'll see you later.

152
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,520
Just think about it.

153
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,596
I don't need to think about it!

154
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,061
I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!

155
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,099
That was huge!

156
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,839
Big things are gonna happen!
You'll see!

157
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,099
Ross!

158
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,176
You still there?

159
00:10:38,693 --> 00:10:39,955
What are you still doing here?

160
00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:43,059
Just some basic dehydrating
of fruits and vegetables.

161
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:45,857
Man alive, this thing's fantastic!

162
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:48,930
Aren't you forgetting anything?

163
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,431
Oh, yeah. I got us a new goldfish.

164
00:10:51,706 --> 00:10:53,401
He's feistier than the last one.

165
00:10:53,775 --> 00:10:56,710
Maybe because the last one
was made by Pepperidge Farm.

166
00:10:58,212 --> 00:11:01,909
Eddie, isn't there something
you're supposed to be doing now?

167
00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:04,550
Not unless it's got something
to do with dehydrating.

168
00:11:04,786 --> 00:11:07,619
Because right now,
I'm a dehydrating maniac!

169
00:11:10,591 --> 00:11:13,822
I thought we had a deal.
I thought by the time I got

170
00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:15,221
You know what that is?

171
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,760
Your last roommate's kidney?

172
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:20,896
That's a tomato.

173
00:11:21,169 --> 00:11:24,229
This one definitely goes
in the display.

174
00:11:33,014 --> 00:11:35,949
Hey, Gunther.
Let me get a lemonade to go.

175
00:11:36,417 --> 00:11:37,349
Lemonade?

176
00:11:37,819 --> 00:11:39,252
You okay, man?

177
00:11:40,188 --> 00:11:41,780
It's career stuff.

178
00:11:42,023 --> 00:11:44,617
They killed off
my character on the show.

179
00:11:45,092 --> 00:11:47,583
That's too bad.
How'd they do it?

180
00:11:47,829 --> 00:11:50,024
I fell down an elevator shaft.

181
00:11:50,998 --> 00:11:52,022
That sucks.

182
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,925
I was buried in an avalanche.

183
00:11:55,703 --> 00:11:56,635
What?

184
00:11:56,838 --> 00:11:59,306
I used to be Brice
on All My Children.

185
00:12:21,362 --> 00:12:22,886
Why must everybody watch me sleep?

186
00:12:23,564 --> 00:12:25,794
There'll be no more
watching me sleep! No more...

187
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,024
...watching!

188
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,173
I got some great stuff to dehydrate.
Grapes, apricots.

189
00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:46,143
I thought it'd be cool to see
what happens with these water balloons.

190
00:12:46,481 --> 00:12:49,382
Get out.
Get out, get out, get out!

191
00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:52,713
-What?
-You! Move out!

192
00:12:52,988 --> 00:12:56,981
Take your fruit!
Your stupid small fruit and get out!

193
00:12:57,225 --> 00:12:59,159
You want me to move out?

194
00:13:07,736 --> 00:13:12,070
I gotta tell you, that's kind of
out of the blue, don't you think?

195
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,042
This is not out of the blue!

196
00:13:15,343 --> 00:13:17,436
This is smack-dab
in the middle of the blue!

197
00:13:19,948 --> 00:13:21,916
Relax! Take it easy, buddy!

198
00:13:22,183 --> 00:13:23,741
You don't have to tell me twice.

199
00:13:25,687 --> 00:13:27,552
Someone will be by for my stuff.

200
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:36,019
If you think I'm leaving you
alone with my fish, you're insane!

201
00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:38,288
You want some help?

202
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,433
No help required, chico!

203
00:13:54,044 --> 00:13:57,377
All the way to the airport, huh?
You know, that's over 30 miles.

204
00:13:57,647 --> 00:14:00,878
That's gonna cost you about so bucks.

205
00:14:01,151 --> 00:14:03,381
Excuse me, that's fifty bucks.

206
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,483
Five-O dollars.

207
00:14:08,592 --> 00:14:12,426
You know what it is?
It's smudgy because they're fax pages.

208
00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:15,564
When I was on Days of our Lives
as Dr. Drake Ramoray...

209
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:19,727
...they'd send over
the whole script on real paper.

210
00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:22,067
That's great.

211
00:14:22,305 --> 00:14:26,332
If you wanted to expand this scene,
like have the cab crash...

212
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:28,441
... I could attend to the victims...

213
00:14:28,645 --> 00:14:31,239
... because I have a background
in medical acting.

214
00:14:32,315 --> 00:14:34,840
Okay, listen, thanks for coming in.

215
00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:38,350
Don't thank me for coming in.
At least let me finish.

216
00:14:42,626 --> 00:14:44,856
We could take the expressway...

217
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:48,326
... but this time of day
you're better off taking the budge.

218
00:14:51,034 --> 00:14:53,730
You were going for bridge there,
weren't you?

219
00:14:54,971 --> 00:14:56,700
I'll have a good day.

220
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,700
Honey, I know you didn't mean to.

221
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,700
Rach, hang up. You are suppose to be taking goddness quiz.

222
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,700
You should lose 100 point just because of 
you call your boyfriend in the middle of it.

223
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,007
Question number 28.

224
00:15:19,246 --> 00:15:23,182
"Have you ever allowed
a lightning-bearer to take your wind?"

225
00:15:23,984 --> 00:15:25,679
I would have to say no.

226
00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:29,918
And I would have to say....

227
00:15:31,092 --> 00:15:31,922
What?

228
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:33,921
Do you not remember the puppet guy?

229
00:15:34,161 --> 00:15:39,098
You totally let him wash his feet
in the pool of your inner power.

230
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,363
And his puppet too!

231
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:44,763
Well, at least
I didn't let some guy...

232
00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,906
...into the forest of my righteous
truth on the first date!

233
00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:53,678
-Who?
-Paul!

234
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,582
Moving on, moving on.
Next question.

235
00:15:59,186 --> 00:16:00,585
Okay, number 29.

236
00:16:00,854 --> 00:16:03,755
"Have you ever betrayed
another goddess...

237
00:16:04,024 --> 00:16:06,891
...for a lightning-bearer?"
Okay, number 30.

238
00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:10,028
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Let's go back to 29.

239
00:16:14,168 --> 00:16:15,999
Not to my recollection.

240
00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:19,830
Danny Arshack, ninth grade.

241
00:16:20,074 --> 00:16:22,508
You know the bottle
was pointing at me.

242
00:16:22,743 --> 00:16:25,507
Only because you took up
half the circle!

243
00:16:29,383 --> 00:16:32,352
Listen to you two.
It's so sad.

244
00:16:33,454 --> 00:16:36,446
Looks like I'll be going to
the goddess meetings alone.

245
00:16:38,058 --> 00:16:40,356
Not when they find out
you slept with Jason Hurley...

246
00:16:40,594 --> 00:16:43,392
...an hour after
he broke up with Monica.

247
00:16:45,032 --> 00:16:46,294
One hour?

248
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:48,728
You are such a leaf blower!

249
00:16:56,728 --> 00:17:00,728
-That is not on the book.
-No, but that's what you are.

250
00:17:13,218 --> 00:17:17,712
Be careful with that 3-D Last Supper.
Judas is a little loose.

251
00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,494
Oh, my God! What's going on?

252
00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:28,933
They're taking all my stuff back.
I guess you were right.

253
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:32,297
No, I wasn't right.
That's what I came here to tell you.

254
00:17:33,404 --> 00:17:36,931
I was totally hung up
on my own stuff the other day.

255
00:17:37,142 --> 00:17:40,942
No, listen. I need the whole
security thing, you know?

256
00:17:41,146 --> 00:17:45,446
To know where my next paycheck is
coming from. But you don't need that.

257
00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,341
And that's amazing to me.

258
00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:49,951
I could never do what you do.

259
00:17:50,922 --> 00:17:53,584
-Thanks.
-You hold out for something bigger.

260
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:55,919
I can't tell you
how much respect I have...

261
00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:58,823
...for you not going
to that stupid audition.

262
00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:00,927
-I went.
-Great! How did it go?

263
00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:03,362
-I didn't get it.
-Good for you!

264
00:18:03,635 --> 00:18:04,863
You're living the dream!

265
00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:08,434
All right, then!

266
00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:11,642
Not my parrot.

267
00:18:12,477 --> 00:18:14,638
I can't watch this.

268
00:18:15,713 --> 00:18:17,340
Hey, hold on, hold on.

269
00:18:18,216 --> 00:18:21,652
How much for the....
How much to save the bird?

270
00:18:22,187 --> 00:18:23,677
-Twelve hundred.
-Dollars?

271
00:18:24,155 --> 00:18:26,623
You spent $1200 on a plastic bird?

272
00:18:27,225 --> 00:18:29,785
It was an impulse buy.
Near the register.

273
00:18:30,328 --> 00:18:32,694
Go ahead with the bird.

274
00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:36,228
Do you have anything for around $200?

275
00:18:37,802 --> 00:18:39,064
The dog.

276
00:18:43,341 --> 00:18:44,501
I'll take it.

277
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:46,404
My gift to you, man.

278
00:18:48,913 --> 00:18:50,073
Thanks, Ross!

279
00:18:50,315 --> 00:18:52,374
I really liked that bird, though.

280
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,678
But the dog!

281
00:19:04,095 --> 00:19:05,426
Here are your cakes.

282
00:19:05,697 --> 00:19:06,994
We didn't order cake.

283
00:19:07,599 --> 00:19:10,261
No, I know. They're from me.

284
00:19:11,169 --> 00:19:12,830
You guys, this is not good.

285
00:19:13,037 --> 00:19:15,562
We have enough trouble
with guys stealing our wind...

286
00:19:15,773 --> 00:19:17,832
...without taking it from each other.

287
00:19:18,576 --> 00:19:19,873
You're right.

288
00:19:20,778 --> 00:19:22,336
I love you goddesses.

289
00:19:25,183 --> 00:19:27,845
I don't ever want
to suck your wind again.

290
00:19:28,686 --> 00:19:31,120
-Thank you. So are we good?
-We're good.

291
00:19:31,356 --> 00:19:33,051
We're good?

292
00:19:33,258 --> 00:19:36,125
Let me take these back.
They'll take it out of my paycheck.

293
00:19:39,364 --> 00:19:41,389
Ding-dong, the psycho's gone!

294
00:19:46,037 --> 00:19:47,595
Are you sure this time?

295
00:19:47,872 --> 00:19:49,772
I actually saw him leave.

296
00:19:50,041 --> 00:19:52,407
That guy is holding a human head.

297
00:19:52,911 --> 00:19:55,209
He's holding a human head!

298
00:19:57,749 --> 00:19:58,773
Check it out, man!

299
00:19:58,983 --> 00:20:01,952
I tore it off a mannequin
in the alley behind Macy's.

300
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:03,278
There's no alley behind Macy's.

301
00:20:03,554 --> 00:20:06,284
So I got it in the junior miss
department. Big diff.

302
00:20:06,557 --> 00:20:10,152
It'll make a hell of a conversation
piece at our next cocktail party.

303
00:20:10,428 --> 00:20:12,726
"Our next cocktail party"?

304
00:20:13,898 --> 00:20:16,731
We'll put chips in it.
We'll make it a chip chick.

305
00:20:19,971 --> 00:20:22,064
Do you remember yesterday?

306
00:20:22,307 --> 00:20:24,400
Yes, I think I vaguely recall it.

307
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,608
Do you remember
talking to me yesterday?

308
00:20:39,257 --> 00:20:40,349
So what happened?

309
00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:42,525
We took a road trip to Las Vegas!

310
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,660
Oh, sweet Moses!

311
00:20:46,264 --> 00:20:48,824
So on this road trip,
did you win any money?

312
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:52,297
I crapped out. But Mr. 21 here!
He cleans up!

313
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:54,801
$300! He buys me these new shoes.

314
00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,466
Nice.

315
00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,767
See you upstairs. See you, pals!

316
00:21:02,714 --> 00:21:05,877
Is anyone else starting
to really like him?

317
00:21:25,636 --> 00:21:26,534
May I help you?

318
00:21:28,306 --> 00:21:31,036
Why doesn't my key work,
and what's my stuff doing downstairs?

319
00:21:31,576 --> 00:21:33,134
I'm sorry.

320
00:21:34,712 --> 00:21:36,009
Have we met?

321
00:21:36,247 --> 00:21:38,545
It's Eddie, you freak!
Your roommate.

322
00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,074
I'm sorry...

323
00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:44,081
... I already have a roommate.

324
00:21:51,229 --> 00:21:55,666
He's lived here for years.
I don't know what you're talking about.

325
00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:01,930
No, he moved out and I moved in.

326
00:22:03,374 --> 00:22:06,707
Well, I think we'd remember
something like that.

327
00:22:07,011 --> 00:22:08,603
I know I would.

328
00:22:10,114 --> 00:22:12,105
That's a good point.

329
00:22:12,683 --> 00:22:13,741
Okay, wow.

330
00:22:13,951 --> 00:22:16,215
I guess I got the wrong apartment.

331
00:22:19,390 --> 00:22:21,688
-I'm terribly sorry.
-Hey, no problem.

332
00:22:21,926 --> 00:22:23,086
See you.

333
00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:32,926
Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath.

334
00:22:34,439 --> 00:22:37,636
-You want me to help you unpack?
-Nah, I'm okay.

335
00:22:38,543 --> 00:22:42,206
Just so you know, I'm not
moving back in because I have to.

336
00:22:42,447 --> 00:22:45,143
I mean, I do have to, but....

337
00:22:45,416 --> 00:22:48,544
It's just that that place,
it wasn't really....

338
00:22:48,753 --> 00:22:50,550
I mean, this is....

339
00:22:51,889 --> 00:22:53,413
Welcome home, man.

340
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:05,391
-A little foos?
-Absolutely!

341
00:23:07,972 --> 00:23:09,769
What happened to the foosball?

342
00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:11,907
It's a cantaloupe.

343
00:23:16,948 --> 00:23:19,781
Are we gonna bring this out
every time Ross comes over?

344
00:23:20,017 --> 00:23:22,178
He paid a lot of money for it.

345
00:23:28,326 --> 00:23:30,521
I'm gonna hold him a different way.

346
00:23:31,863 --> 00:23:35,424
If you hated it so much,
why'd you buy it in the first place?

347
00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:39,432
Well, I had a whole ceramic
zoo thing going over there.

348
00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:42,195
But without the other ones,
it looks tacky.

349
00:23:48,174 --> 00:23:51,666
Is he housetrained or will he leave
little bathroom tiles all over?

350
00:23:52,678 --> 00:23:53,667
Stay.

351
00:23:55,548 --> 00:23:56,537
Stay!

352
00:23:57,016 --> 00:23:58,881
Good fake dog.