FANDOM


General InformationEdit

Title "The One with the Breast Milk"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:08,793
These were unbelievely expensive
and he'll grow out of them...

2
00:00:08,995 --> 00:00:11,730
...in 20 minutes,
but I couldn't resist!

3
00:00:15,581 --> 00:00:17,609
Look at these.

4
00:00:17,988 --> 00:00:18,957
Hey, Ben.

5
00:00:19,158 --> 00:00:20,822
"Just do it"!

6
00:00:23,002 --> 00:00:24,267
Oh, my God!

7
00:00:24,473 --> 00:00:26,502
Was that too much
pressure for him?

8
00:00:28,217 --> 00:00:31,522
-ls he hungry already?
-I guess so.

9
00:00:32,629 --> 00:00:34,190
You know, it's....

10
00:00:37,209 --> 00:00:40,241
Something funny about sneakers.
I'll be right back.

11
00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:43,220
I gotta get one too.

12
00:00:45,901 --> 00:00:47,769
Hey, what are you guys doing?

13
00:00:48,074 --> 00:00:50,512
We're just hanging out
by the spoons.

14
00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,584
Ladle?

15
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,017
Will you guys grow up?

16
00:00:54,224 --> 00:00:57,027
This is the most nature beautiful
thing in the world.

17
00:00:57,267 --> 00:01:00,264
Yeah, we know.
But there's a baby sucking on it.

18
00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:07,555
This is my son having lunch, okay?
It'll happen a lot, so get used to it.

19
00:01:08,064 --> 00:01:11,437
If you're uncomfortable,
just ask questions.

20
00:01:11,674 --> 00:01:13,338
Carol's fine with it.

21
00:01:16,354 --> 00:01:17,185
Carol?

22
00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:23,835
I'm wondering, could Joey ask you
a question about breast-feeding?

23
00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:27,284
Sure.

24
00:01:29,792 --> 00:01:31,227
Does it hurt?

25
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,995
It did at first, but not anymore.

26
00:01:35,408 --> 00:01:36,468
Chandler?

27
00:01:39,386 --> 00:01:41,381
So, how often can you do it?

28
00:01:41,993 --> 00:01:43,429
As much as he needs.

29
00:01:44,199 --> 00:01:46,729
Okay, I got one, I got one.

30
00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:52,113
If he blows into one,
does the other one get bigger?

31
00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:57,954
The One With the Breast Milk

32
00:02:42,432 --> 00:02:45,270
-Any muffins left?
-Yeah, I forget which ones.

33
00:02:45,608 --> 00:02:47,442
You're busy, I'll get it.

34
00:02:47,747 --> 00:02:50,380
-Anyone else want one?
-No, thanks.

35
00:02:50,589 --> 00:02:53,085
You're losing your apron.
Let me get it.

36
00:02:54,099 --> 00:02:56,036
-There you go.
-Thank you.

37
00:02:57,775 --> 00:02:59,576
What a bitch!

38
00:03:02,991 --> 00:03:06,091
I have a friend at
Bloomingdale's who's quitting...

39
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,567
...and he wants to abuse his discount.

40
00:03:08,774 --> 00:03:11,076
Anyone want to come
take advantage of it?

41
00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:13,947
I have to take
my grandmother to the vet.

42
00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,367
-I'll go with you.
-Great.

43
00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,148
-Hi, honey.
-Hey, sweetums.

44
00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:28,458
And hello to the rest.

45
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:34,841
You can't go shopping with her.
What about Rachel?

46
00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:37,015
Will it be a problem?

47
00:03:37,221 --> 00:03:39,318
You're going to
Bloomingdale's with Julie.

48
00:03:39,528 --> 00:03:43,061
It's like cheating on Rachel
in her house of worship.

49
00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,206
Monica, she will kill you.

50
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,553
She will kill you
like a dog in the street!

51
00:03:55,105 --> 00:03:58,741
So Jules tells me you guys
are going shopping tomorrow.

52
00:03:59,384 --> 00:04:01,983
It's actually not that big a deal.

53
00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:04,322
It's a big deal to me.
This is great.

54
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:06,595
I really appreciate this.

55
00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:08,299
You're welcome.

56
00:04:23,152 --> 00:04:24,447
Bijan for men?

57
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,145
Bijan for men?

58
00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:32,469
-Hey, Annabel.
-Hey, Joey.

59
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,832
Did you hear about the new guy?

60
00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:39,502
Nobody knows his name. Me and
the girls call him "The Hombre Man. "

61
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,356
Hombre?

62
00:04:55,154 --> 00:04:57,481
What's he doing in my section?

63
00:04:57,684 --> 00:04:59,410
I guess he doesn't know.

64
00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,238
Well, he's gonna.

65
00:05:02,313 --> 00:05:04,334
I'll see you a little later, okay?

66
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,129
Hey, how you doing?

67
00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:10,602
Mornin'.

68
00:05:11,471 --> 00:05:14,399
Listen, I know you're new...

69
00:05:14,668 --> 00:05:16,927
... but it's understood
that everything...

70
00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:20,582
...from young men's to
the escalator is my territory.

71
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:24,315
"Your territory"?

72
00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:27,347
-Bijan for men?
-No, thanks.

73
00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:28,950
Hombre?

74
00:05:29,253 --> 00:05:31,443
Yeah, all right.

75
00:05:38,144 --> 00:05:39,233
You were saying?

76
00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:47,223
Phoebe, listen. You were with me,
and we were shopping all day.

77
00:05:48,135 --> 00:05:49,758
We shopped and we had lunch.

78
00:05:50,032 --> 00:05:51,190
What did I have?

79
00:05:51,897 --> 00:05:55,189
-You had a salad.
-No wonder I don't feel full.

80
00:05:56,359 --> 00:05:57,516
Hi. What's up?

81
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,687
I went shopping with Monica
and I had a salad.

82
00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:05,178
Good, Pheebs.
What'd you buy?

83
00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:09,076
We went shopping for....

84
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:10,669
For....

85
00:06:11,078 --> 00:06:12,871
For fur.

86
00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:18,028
You went shopping for fur?

87
00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:21,759
And then I realized
that l'm against that.

88
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,325
So then we bought some....

89
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:27,853
Boobs.

90
00:06:33,723 --> 00:06:34,652
You bought boobs?

91
00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:39,472
Bras!

92
00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:41,404
We bought bras!

93
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,570
We bought bras.

94
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,036
Bijan for men?

95
00:06:49,506 --> 00:06:51,163
Bijan for men?

96
00:06:51,403 --> 00:06:52,799
Bijan for....

97
00:06:54,702 --> 00:06:55,791
Hey, Annabel.

98
00:06:56,199 --> 00:07:00,150
I was wondering if after work
we could grab a cup of coffee?

99
00:07:00,728 --> 00:07:02,714
Actually, I sort of have plans.

100
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,643
You ready, Annabel?

101
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,438
You bet.

102
00:07:14,214 --> 00:07:15,439
Maybe some other time.

103
00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:30,189
It's not the first time I lost a girl
to a cowboy spraying cologne.

104
00:07:30,432 --> 00:07:31,919
Bijan for men?

105
00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,985
Bijan for men!

106
00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:37,422
And this is Funny Clown.

107
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,109
It's only for after his naps,
not before, or he won't sleep.

108
00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:44,771
We've been through this before.
We have a good time.

109
00:07:44,984 --> 00:07:48,276
We laugh, we play.
It's like we're father and son.

110
00:07:50,112 --> 00:07:53,166
Honey, relax.
Ross is great with him.

111
00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:57,302
Don't look so surprised.
I'm a lovely person.

112
00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:01,129
This is so cute!

113
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,956
I got that for him!

114
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,753
"My Mommies Love Me. "

115
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:10,214
That's clever.

116
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:14,548
Oh, hi, Jul....

117
00:08:15,919 --> 00:08:17,383
Hi, Jew!

118
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,471
Okay, sure.

119
00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:26,635
That'd be great.
See you then. Bye.

120
00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:29,130
Did you just say, " Hi, Jew"?

121
00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:35,688
Yes, I did.

122
00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:38,021
That was my friend Eddie Moskowitz.

123
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,351
Yeah, he likes it.
Reaffirms his faith.

124
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,722
Ben, dinner!

125
00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,061
Thanks, Aunt Pheebs.

126
00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:02,761
Did you microwave that?
You can't do that to breast milk.

127
00:09:03,007 --> 00:09:05,914
I think I know
how to heat breast milk.

128
00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:11,790
What did you just do?

129
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,799
I licked my arm, what?

130
00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:16,239
It's breast milk!

131
00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:17,708
So?

132
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:21,187
Phoebe, that is juice
squeezed from a person.

133
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,892
What is the big deal?

134
00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:28,843
What did you just do?

135
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,327
Can people stop
drinking the breast milk?

136
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,530
You won't even taste it?

137
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:41,175
Not even if you just
pretend it's milk?

138
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:45,687
Not even if Carol's breast had
a picture of a missing child on it.

139
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:56,825
-Where is everybody?
-At the park. Where have you been?

140
00:09:57,395 --> 00:09:58,386
Just out.

141
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,906
Had some lunch. Just me.
A little quality time with me.

142
00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:06,014
-Thanks for your jacket.
-No problem.

143
00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:09,091
You can borrow it, by the way.

144
00:10:10,264 --> 00:10:12,133
Here are your keys, honey.

145
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,990
If you were at lunch alone,
how come it cost you $53?

146
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:25,307
You know what probably happened?

147
00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:27,507
Someone stole my credit card.

148
00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:31,821
And put the receipt
back in your pocket?

149
00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:36,368
That is an excellent,
excellent question.

150
00:10:36,773 --> 00:10:38,209
That is excellent.

151
00:10:39,549 --> 00:10:42,455
What's with you?
Who did you have lunch with?

152
00:10:42,723 --> 00:10:43,988
-Judy.
-Who?

153
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:45,221
-Julie.
-What?

154
00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:46,799
Jody.

155
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,807
You were with Julie?

156
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:54,783
When it started, I was just
trying to be nice to her...

157
00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:57,658
... because she was
my brother's girlfriend.

158
00:10:58,068 --> 00:11:01,305
And then one thing
led to another...

159
00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:04,418
...and before I knew it, we were...

160
00:11:04,921 --> 00:11:06,447
...shopping.

161
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:12,274
Oh, my God!

162
00:11:14,481 --> 00:11:16,350
Wait, we only did it once.

163
00:11:18,526 --> 00:11:20,121
It didn't meant anything to me!

164
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,512
Rachal, I was thinking
of you the whole time.

165
00:11:29,524 --> 00:11:33,696
Look, I'm sorry, all right?
I never meant for you to find out.

166
00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:37,607
Oh, please! Please!
You wanted to get caught!

167
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,345
That is not true!

168
00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:42,025
So you just happened
to leave it in here?

169
00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:46,766
Did it ever occur to you
that I might just be that stupid?

170
00:11:48,711 --> 00:11:50,980
Okay, I just have to know one thing.

171
00:11:54,829 --> 00:11:56,892
Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's?

172
00:12:10,874 --> 00:12:14,943
Okay, I just really need
to not be with you right now.

173
00:12:25,781 --> 00:12:26,841
Hi, who's this?

174
00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:30,216
Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working?
It's Monica.

175
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,565
Yes, I know I did a horrible thing.

176
00:12:34,072 --> 00:12:36,704
Joanne, it's not
as simple as all that.

177
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:42,159
No, I don't care what Steve thinks.
Hi, Steve.

178
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:48,672
How did we do?

179
00:12:48,947 --> 00:12:51,580
I tasted Ben's milk
and Ross freaked out.

180
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,587
I did not freak out.

181
00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:57,031
-Why'd you freak out?
-Because it's breast milk.

182
00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:58,972
It's gross!

183
00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:01,448
My breast milk is gross?

184
00:13:03,322 --> 00:13:05,316
This should be fun.

185
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,099
There's nothing wrong with it.

186
00:13:09,305 --> 00:13:13,009
I just don't think
breast milk is for adults.

187
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:16,521
Of course, the packaging does
appeal to grownups and kids.

188
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,671
Don't be silly. I've tried it.
It's no big deal.

189
00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:22,841
Just taste it.

190
00:13:24,649 --> 00:13:26,483
That would be no.

191
00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:28,382
-Come on.
-Try it.

192
00:13:28,626 --> 00:13:29,526
It's natural.

193
00:13:29,729 --> 00:13:31,063
It doesn't taste bad.

194
00:13:31,334 --> 00:13:34,207
Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet.
Sort of like....

195
00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,242
Like what?

196
00:13:35,479 --> 00:13:36,505
Cantaloupe juice.

197
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,152
Exactly.

198
00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:46,901
You've tasted it.

199
00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:49,074
You've tasted it.

200
00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:53,193
Oh, you've tasted it.

201
00:13:55,303 --> 00:13:58,277
You can keep saying it,
but it won't stop being true.

202
00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:07,601
Give me the bottle.

203
00:14:13,454 --> 00:14:14,924
Get me the towel.

204
00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:41,022
Howdy.

205
00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:45,401
Give me a box of juice.

206
00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:50,121
Well, they switched me over to Hombre.

207
00:14:50,527 --> 00:14:53,365
Maybe it's because of
the way you're dressed.

208
00:14:54,805 --> 00:14:58,440
Or this guy's doing so good
they want to put more people on it.

209
00:14:59,051 --> 00:15:01,957
This guy goes through
two bottles a day now.

210
00:15:04,265 --> 00:15:05,735
What do you care?

211
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,842
You're an actor.
This is your day job. It's nothing!

212
00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:12,578
I know, but I was the best.

213
00:15:12,823 --> 00:15:15,923
You know? I liked being the best.

214
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,643
Maybe I should get
out of the game.

215
00:15:23,019 --> 00:15:26,324
They need guys up in housewares
to serve cheese.

216
00:15:26,528 --> 00:15:27,656
Say you do that.

217
00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:31,969
Sooner or later, somebody will come
along that slices a better cheddar.

218
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,577
Then where you gonna run?

219
00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:36,824
You're right.

220
00:15:37,026 --> 00:15:40,399
I say you show him what you're made of.
Stand your ground.

221
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:45,240
Show him that you're the baddest
Hombre west of the lingerie!

222
00:15:46,017 --> 00:15:48,046
-I'm gonna do it!
-All right!

223
00:15:49,093 --> 00:15:52,900
Now, go see Miss Kitty and
she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

224
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:56,705
I don't know what to say.

225
00:15:56,982 --> 00:15:59,284
That's good because I'm not listening.

226
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,791
I feel terrible. I really do.

227
00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:04,298
I'm sorry.
Did my back hurt your knife?

228
00:16:07,512 --> 00:16:11,478
Say that I'm friends with her.
Is that so terrible?

229
00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:14,989
-It's that terrible?
-You don't get it!

230
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,933
It's bad enough
she stole the guy...

231
00:16:17,173 --> 00:16:19,703
...who may be the person
l'm supposed to be with.

232
00:16:20,149 --> 00:16:21,139
But now...

233
00:16:22,555 --> 00:16:24,048
...she's actually....

234
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:27,662
But now she's actually stealing you!

235
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:33,181
What are you talking about?

236
00:16:33,553 --> 00:16:35,890
Nobody could steal me from you.

237
00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:40,538
Because I'm friends with her doesn't
make me any less friends with you.

238
00:16:41,944 --> 00:16:43,379
You're my....

239
00:16:45,086 --> 00:16:46,453
And we're....

240
00:16:49,599 --> 00:16:52,471
-Oh, I love you!
-I love you too!

241
00:16:56,919 --> 00:17:01,923
You guys, I know that this really
doesn't have anything to do with me.

242
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:03,729
But I love you guys too!

243
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:11,854
I really needed that.

244
00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:15,672
I know that right now...

245
00:17:15,941 --> 00:17:18,505
...you really need
to hate Julie's guts.

246
00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:21,553
But she didn't do anything wrong.

247
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:26,158
She's just a girl who met a guy,
and now they go out.

248
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,868
I think that if you gave her
a chance, you'd like her.

249
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:34,050
Will you give it a chance?

250
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,227
For me?

251
00:17:38,504 --> 00:17:40,601
I'd do anything for you,
you know that.

252
00:17:41,212 --> 00:17:43,742
I'd do anything for you!

253
00:17:44,622 --> 00:17:46,354
Wait, wait, wait!

254
00:18:04,979 --> 00:18:05,811
Mornin'.

255
00:18:08,356 --> 00:18:11,194
I said, mornin'!

256
00:18:12,669 --> 00:18:13,831
I heard you.

257
00:18:15,376 --> 00:18:18,544
All right, everybody.
I'm opening the doors.

258
00:18:18,819 --> 00:18:20,118
You boys ready?

259
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,370
Ready.

260
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,543
Yeah, l'm ready.

261
00:19:15,381 --> 00:19:17,649
You idiot! You stupid cowboy!

262
00:19:18,054 --> 00:19:20,049
You've blinded me! I'm suing!

263
00:19:20,295 --> 00:19:23,896
Oh, my God! Todd!
What the hell did you do?

264
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,967
Sorry. I'm such a doofus!

265
00:19:26,245 --> 00:19:28,547
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

266
00:19:29,721 --> 00:19:31,419
My God, what happened?

267
00:19:32,429 --> 00:19:34,833
These new kids, they never last.

268
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,508
Sooner or later they all...

269
00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:39,911
...stop lasting.

270
00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:44,119
What do you say I buy you
that cup of coffee now?

271
00:19:44,564 --> 00:19:45,590
Sure.

272
00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:07,158
I just thought we should hang out.

273
00:20:07,363 --> 00:20:10,269
I mean, you know,
we've never really talked.

274
00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:13,605
I guess you'd know that,
being one of the two of us.

275
00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:15,341
I know.

276
00:20:16,055 --> 00:20:19,360
I probably shouldn't
even tell you this...

277
00:20:19,564 --> 00:20:22,698
... but l'm pretty much
totally intimidated by you.

278
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,836
Really?

279
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,140
Me?

280
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,219
Oh, my God, are you kidding?

281
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:30,222
Ross is so crazy about you...

282
00:20:30,428 --> 00:20:33,597
...and I really wanted you
to like me, and l....

283
00:20:33,872 --> 00:20:36,710
It's probably me just
being totally paranoid...

284
00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:40,447
...but I kind of got the feeling
that maybe you don't.

285
00:20:49,784 --> 00:20:51,618
Well, you're not totally paranoid.

286
00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:07,699
When you and Ross
first started going out...

287
00:21:07,969 --> 00:21:10,168
...it was really hard for me...

288
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:16,486
...for many reasons of which
l'm not gonna bore you with now.

289
00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:25,842
I see how happy he is
and how good you guys are together.

290
00:21:27,056 --> 00:21:31,090
And Monica's always
saying how nice you are...

291
00:21:31,335 --> 00:21:33,569
...and God, I hate it when she's right!

292
00:21:35,681 --> 00:21:37,116
Thanks.

293
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,287
Would you like to go to
a movie sometime or something?

294
00:21:41,698 --> 00:21:44,467
Yeah, that'd be great.
I'd love it.

295
00:21:44,707 --> 00:21:46,439
I'd love it too.

296
00:21:47,481 --> 00:21:48,780
Shoot, I gotta go.

297
00:21:48,985 --> 00:21:51,960
-So I'll talk to you later.
-All right, Julie.

298
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,258
What a manipulative bitch.

299
00:22:34,515 --> 00:22:35,346
It's not bad.