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General InformationEdit

Title "The One Where Heckles Dies"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

fuck off nigga
​1
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,329
So how was Joan?

2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:08,504
Broke up with her.

3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,107
Oh, why?

4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,040
Don't tell me.
Because of the big nostril thing?

5
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,011
They were huge!

6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,216
When she sneezed,
bats flew out of them.

7
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,018
They were not that huge.

8
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:25,554
I'm telling you, she leaned back,
I could see her brain.

9
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,923
How many women will you reject...

10
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,427
...over superficial,
insignificant things

11
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,394
Hold it. I gotta side
with Chandler on this one.

12
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,193
When I first moved here,
I went out with this girl.

13
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,872
Really hot. Great kisser...

14
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,234
...but she had the biggest
Adam's apple.

15
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,438
Drove me nuts.

16
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,675
-You or me?
-I got it.

17
00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,512
Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.

18
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,392
You guys are messing with me, right?

19
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,199
Yeah. We are!

20
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,931
That's a good one.
For a second there, I was like, whoa!

21
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,232
The One Where Heckles Dies

22
00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:03,053
You name one woman that you broke up
with for an actual real reason.

23
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,223
Maureen Rasillo.

24
00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:09,123
Because she doesn't hate Yanni
is not a real reason.

25
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,159
Hello, Mr. Heckles.

26
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,396
You're doing it again.

27
00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:19,098
We're not doing anything.

28
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:22,240
You're stomping.
It's disturbing my birds.

29
00:02:24,112 --> 00:02:26,672
You don't have birds.

30
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,113
I could have birds.

31
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,984
We'll try to keep it down.

32
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,515
Thank you.

33
00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:36,246
I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.

34
00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:38,956
All right, bye-bye.

35
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:41,484
Okay, Janice.

36
00:02:41,763 --> 00:02:44,630
Give me Janice.
That wasn't about being picky.

37
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:45,993
We'll give you Janice.

38
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,998
I miss Janice, though.

39
00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:50,328
Hello, Chandler Bing!

40
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,235
Oh, my God!

41
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,068
Oh, Chandler!

42
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,404
Now! Now!

43
00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:03,981
That's it.

44
00:03:04,853 --> 00:03:07,321
There! Faster!

45
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:18,125
Stop with the broom!
We're not making noise!

46
00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,336
We won.

47
00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,034
We did it!

48
00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:35,848
Mr. Heckles!

49
00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:42,554
-How did this happen?
-He was sweeping.

50
00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:45,019
They found a broom in his hand.

51
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,823
-That's terrible.
-I know.

52
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,232
I was sweeping yesterday.

53
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,229
It could've been me.

54
00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,968
Sweeping. You never know.

55
00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,366
Never know.

56
00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:07,804
It's very faint, but I can
still sense him in the building.

57
00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:11,314
Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!

58
00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,155
Okay, Phoebe.

59
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:19,052
I'm sorry,
but sometimes they need help.

60
00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:22,394
Here we go.

61
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:25,065
That's fine, go ahead and scoff.

62
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,767
There are a lot of things
I don't believe in...

63
00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:30,095
... but that doesn't mean
they're not true.

64
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,565
Such as?

65
00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:36,400
Like crop circles or
the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.

66
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,578
What, you don't believe in evolution?

67
00:04:42,884 --> 00:04:44,078
Not really.

68
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,245
You don't believe in evolution?

69
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,850
I don't know.
It's just, you know....

70
00:04:51,092 --> 00:04:55,859
Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story.
I just think it's a little too easy.

71
00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:02,031
"Too easy"? Too

72
00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:05,706
The process of every living thing
on this planet evolving...

73
00:05:05,907 --> 00:05:10,241
...over millions of years from
single-celled organisms is "too easy"?

74
00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:13,036
Yeah, I just don't buy it.

75
00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:18,146
Excuse me. Evolution is not
for you to buy, Phoebe.

76
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:22,219
Evolution is scientific fact,
like the air we breathe...

77
00:05:22,457 --> 00:05:23,981
...Iike gravity.

78
00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:26,489
Don't get me started on gravity.

79
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,494
You don't believe in gravity?

80
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:38,929
Well, it's not so much that,
you know, I don't believe in it.

81
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,073
Lately I get the feeling that...

82
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:44,472
...I'm not so much being pulled down
as I am being pushed.

83
00:05:44,746 --> 00:05:45,804
Pushed.

84
00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:50,481
It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed.

85
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:59,619
There she is. And over there,
that's the other one.

86
00:05:59,825 --> 00:06:02,020
This is Mr. Buddy Doyle,
Heckles' attorney.

87
00:06:02,294 --> 00:06:03,318
He'd like to talk to you.

88
00:06:03,795 --> 00:06:04,989
What can we do for you?

89
00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:07,290
All right, kids, here's the deal.

90
00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:09,524
According my client's will...

91
00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:14,297
... he wants to leave
all his earthly possessions...

92
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:18,305
...to "the noisy girls
in the apartment above mine."

93
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:20,971
What about his family?

94
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:22,680
He didn't have any.

95
00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:26,879
Okay, so let's talk money.

96
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:30,018
All right, there was none.

97
00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,882
Now, let's talk signing.

98
00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:35,320
You be noisy girl number one.
You be noisy girl number two.

99
00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:40,022
I can't believe that this whole time
we thought he hated us.

100
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:43,768
Isn't it amazing how much
you can touch someone's life...

101
00:06:44,035 --> 00:06:46,003
...without even knowing it?

102
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:47,728
Would you look at this dump?

103
00:06:47,939 --> 00:06:50,237
He hated us!
This was his final revenge!

104
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,739
I've never seen so much crap!

105
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:56,571
Actually, I think this apartment
sullies the good name of crap.

106
00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,209
Check this out.

107
00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,710
Can I have this?

108
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:06,886
How can you not believe in evolution?

109
00:07:07,893 --> 00:07:10,862
I don't know, just don't.
Look at this funky shirt!

110
00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:14,529
Pheebs, I've studied evolution
my entire adult life.

111
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:18,099
And we've collected fossils
from all over the world...

112
00:07:18,403 --> 00:07:21,804
...that actually show the evolution
of different species.

113
00:07:22,073 --> 00:07:24,803
I mean, you can literally see them...

114
00:07:25,043 --> 00:07:28,604
...evolving through time.

115
00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:31,739
Really? You can actually see it?

116
00:07:31,983 --> 00:07:36,579
You bet! In the U.S.,
China, Africa, all over!

117
00:07:37,322 --> 00:07:39,222
See, I didn't know that.

118
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,918
Well, there you go.

119
00:07:43,728 --> 00:07:48,631
So now the real question is,
who put those fossils there and why?

120
00:07:52,637 --> 00:07:56,095
Look at this!
My Big Book of Grievances.

121
00:07:58,777 --> 00:08:00,267
Hey, there's me!

122
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:03,843
"April 1 7th, excessive noise...

123
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,983
... Italian guy comes home with a date."

124
00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:09,116
You're in here too.

125
00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:11,987
"April 1 8th, excessive noise...

126
00:08:12,257 --> 00:08:15,920
... Italian guy's gay roommate
brings home dry cleaning."

127
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,665
Well, that's excellent.

128
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,336
Look at this lamp.

129
00:08:27,539 --> 00:08:29,973
Is this tacky or what?
We have to have this.

130
00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:33,337
I think we have enough regular lamps.

131
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,705
What? Come on, it's not like...

132
00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:38,643
... I'm asking for this
girlie clock or anything.

133
00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:41,785
Which, by the way,
I also think is really cool.

134
00:08:42,654 --> 00:08:45,020
Look, it doesn't go
with any of my stuff.

135
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,953
Well, what about my stuff?

136
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,225
You don't have any stuff.

137
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:55,994
You still think of it
as your apartment, don't you?

138
00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,092
Yes, you do.

139
00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:02,668
You think of it as your apartment
and I just rent a room.

140
00:09:05,575 --> 00:09:09,602
While you "mmm" on that,
I'll go find a place for my new lamp.

141
00:09:12,949 --> 00:09:16,544
Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm making
these little toys move?

142
00:09:19,756 --> 00:09:20,780
Opposable thumbs!

143
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:27,252
Without evolution, how do you
explain opposable thumbs?

144
00:09:28,198 --> 00:09:32,134
Maybe the Overlords needed them
to steer their spacecrafts.

145
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:34,528
Tell me you're joking.

146
00:09:35,071 --> 00:09:38,973
Look, can't we say that you believe
in something and I don't?

147
00:09:39,242 --> 00:09:41,938
-No, Pheebs, we can't.

148
00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:56,113
No, what's that all about?

149
00:09:56,849 --> 00:09:59,511
What is this obsessive need
to make everybody agree with you?

150
00:09:59,919 --> 00:10:04,982
I think maybe it's time
you put Ross under the microscope.

151
00:10:10,028 --> 00:10:12,087
Is there blood coming out of my ears?

152
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,362
Check it out.
Heckles' high-school yearbook.

153
00:10:19,204 --> 00:10:20,501
He looks so normal!

154
00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:22,730
He's even kind of cute.

155
00:10:22,941 --> 00:10:25,239
"Heckles, you crack me up
in science class.

156
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,501
You're the funniest kid in school."

157
00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,044
-Funniest? Heckles?
-That's what it says.

158
00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:34,548
Heckles was voted class clown,
and so was l.

159
00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:38,718
He was right!
Would you listen to that?

160
00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:41,256
I'd call that excessive.

161
00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:43,023
What?

162
00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:46,196
Heckles played clarinet in band,
and I played clarinet.

163
00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,959
He was in the scale
modeler's club and I was

164
00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:53,295
There was no club,
but I sure thought they were cool.

165
00:10:53,705 --> 00:10:56,037
So? You were both dorks.

166
00:10:56,708 --> 00:10:57,470
Big deal.

167
00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,968
I just think it's weird, you know?
Heckles and me

168
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:03,242
Heckles and me. Me

169
00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:04,773
Me and Heckles.

170
00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:07,478
Hey, would you knock it off!

171
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:28,898
Have you been here all night?

172
00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:30,936
Look at this.

173
00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:33,474
Pictures of all the women
Heckles went out with.

174
00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:37,407
Look what he wrote on them.
"Vivian, too tall."

175
00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:39,274
"Madge, big gums."

176
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:41,505
"Too loud."

177
00:11:41,818 --> 00:11:43,911
"Too smart."
"Makes noise when she eats."

178
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,747
This is me.

179
00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:47,853
This is what I do.

180
00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:51,959
I'm gonna end up alone,
just like he did.

181
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,822
Heckles was a nut case.

182
00:11:54,097 --> 00:11:55,997
Our trains are on the same track.

183
00:11:56,265 --> 00:11:59,701
I'm coming up 30 years behind him,
but the stops are all the same.

184
00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:01,595
Bitter Town...

185
00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:04,599
...Alone-ville, Hermit Junction!

186
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:08,507
You know what we gotta do?
Get you out of here.

187
00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,439
I'll buy you breakfast.

188
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,513
What if I never find somebody?
Or worse, what if I found her...

189
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:17,651
... but I dumped her because
she pronounces it, "supposably"?

190
00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:21,346
Chandler, come on,
you're gonna find somebody.

191
00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:23,489
How do you know that? How?

192
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,389
I don't know. I'm just
trying to help you out.

193
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,362
You guys will all get married...

194
00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:31,031
...and I'll end up alone.

195
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:33,495
Will you promise me something?

196
00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:37,035
When you're married, will you
invite me over for holidays?

197
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,201
I don't know what we'll be doing.

198
00:12:42,211 --> 00:12:45,408
I mean, what if we're over
at her folks' place?

199
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,742
Yeah, I understand.

200
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,389
You can come over
and watch the Super Bowl.

201
00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:57,525
Every year, all right?

202
00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:02,094
You know what?
I'm not gonna end up like this.

203
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,196
I'll see you, man.

204
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,209
"Supposably."

205
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,380
Supposably!

206
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,248
Did they go to the zoo?

207
00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:26,684
Supposably.

208
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,567
Hi. It's me.

209
00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:46,104
Oh, my God!

210
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,605
Janice? You called Janice?

211
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:52,440
Yes. Janice.

212
00:13:52,715 --> 00:13:54,615
Why is that difficult to comprehend?

213
00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:57,079
You remember Janice, right?

214
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:02,782
Yes. She was smart, she was pretty
and she honestly cared about me.

215
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,721
Janice is my last chance
to have somebody.

216
00:14:12,802 --> 00:14:14,827
Oh, my God!

217
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,633
Jeez, look how fat she got.

218
00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:24,339
-Hey, it's everybody!
-Hi, Janice.

219
00:14:24,647 --> 00:14:25,773
Janice, you're....

220
00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:28,006
Yes, I am.

221
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,683
-ls it?
-ls it yours?

222
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,945
You wish, Chandler Bing!

223
00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:37,592
You are looking at a married lady now.

224
00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:44,096
Congratulations.

225
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,528
Sweetie, I'm sorry.

226
00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,701
You couldn't tell me on the phone?

227
00:14:51,971 --> 00:14:54,940
And what? Miss the expression
on your face? Oh, no!

228
00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:57,939
Janice likes to have her fun!

229
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,849
You know what we haven't
played in a while?

230
00:15:12,859 --> 00:15:14,486
Hide the lamp.

231
00:15:16,463 --> 00:15:18,226
Monica, let it go.

232
00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:21,397
Did you know
I'm allergic to shellfish?

233
00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:24,695
Then you'll just have
to eat the other lamps.

234
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:30,469
It's scary scientist man.

235
00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:34,875
Okay, Phoebe, this is it.

236
00:15:35,082 --> 00:15:38,813
In this briefcase I carry
actual scientific facts.

237
00:15:39,052 --> 00:15:41,748
A briefcase of facts, if you will.

238
00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:48,987
Some of these fossils are
over 200 million years old.

239
00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:52,425
Before you even start,
I'm not denying evolution.

240
00:15:52,699 --> 00:15:54,758
It's just one of the possibilities.

241
00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:56,935
It's the only possibility.

242
00:15:57,204 --> 00:16:00,571
Ross, could you just open
your mind, like, this much?

243
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:06,539
Didn't the brightest minds in
the world believe the Earth was flat?

244
00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:12,043
And up till 50 years ago, you thought
the atom was the smallest thing...

245
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:16,016
...until you split it open
and this whole mess of crap came out.

246
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:22,522
Are you telling me that you are
so unbelievably arrogant...

247
00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:26,596
...that you can't admit that
there's a teeny, tiny possibility...

248
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,791
...that you could be wrong about this?

249
00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:37,543
There might be...

250
00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:40,643
...a teeny...

251
00:16:42,082 --> 00:16:43,140
...tiny...

252
00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:46,445
... possibility.

253
00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,416
I can't believe you caved.

254
00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:56,659
You just abandoned
your whole belief system!

255
00:16:58,064 --> 00:17:01,329
Before, I didn't agree with you,
but at least I respected you.

256
00:17:01,768 --> 00:17:02,996
But....

257
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,665
How are you gonna go
into work tomorrow?

258
00:17:05,906 --> 00:17:08,636
How are you going to face
the other science guys?

259
00:17:08,842 --> 00:17:11,675
How are you going to face yourself?

260
00:17:28,261 --> 00:17:30,286
That was fun.
So who's hungry?

261
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:31,428
I am.

262
00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:33,826
Me too.
Let me just get my coat.

263
00:17:42,008 --> 00:17:42,838
What happened?

264
00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:46,645
It was an accident, I swear.

265
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,816
I was putting on my jacket and
the thing and the lamp and it broke.

266
00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:54,452
Oh, please, Monica!
You've always hated my lamp!

267
00:17:54,688 --> 00:17:58,886
And now all of a sudden,
it's just magically, it's just broken?

268
00:17:59,159 --> 00:18:00,353
Phoebe, tell her?

269
00:18:00,627 --> 00:18:03,892
I didn't see it, because
I was putting on my jacket.

270
00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:05,461
But I want to believe you.

271
00:18:09,903 --> 00:18:13,839
Hey, Chandler. Monica just
broke my seashell lamp.

272
00:18:14,374 --> 00:18:15,534
Neat.

273
00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:17,642
I'm gonna die alone!

274
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:20,910
Okay, you win.

275
00:18:23,016 --> 00:18:25,314
Chandler, you are not
gonna die alone.

276
00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:27,819
Janice was my safety net, okay?

277
00:18:28,054 --> 00:18:29,681
And now I have to get a snake.

278
00:18:32,058 --> 00:18:32,854
Why is that?

279
00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:36,494
If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man,
I'm gonna need a thing.

280
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,357
You know, a hook.

281
00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:41,591
Like that guy on the subway
who eats his own face.

282
00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:44,328
So I figure I'll be
"Crazy Man With A Snake."

283
00:18:44,571 --> 00:18:45,833
Crazy Snake Man.

284
00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:48,063
Then I'll get more snakes,
call them my babies.

285
00:18:48,341 --> 00:18:50,434
Kids will run past my place!

286
00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:53,872
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,"
they'll shout!

287
00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:59,908
You've got to get over this.

288
00:19:00,387 --> 00:19:01,752
You won't end up alone.

289
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:03,546
Of course I will.

290
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:07,556
I reject anyone who's crazy enough
to actually go out with me...

291
00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:11,424
...and then I bitch that there
aren't any great women out there.

292
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,397
You have just described...

293
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:19,231
...virtually every man
that we've ever gone out with.

294
00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:23,300
You are not a freak.
You're a guy.

295
00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:26,240
She's right.

296
00:19:53,446 --> 00:19:55,141
You're no different than the rest.

297
00:19:55,415 --> 00:19:57,576
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Yes, he is.

298
00:19:57,784 --> 00:19:59,581
You are totally different.

299
00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:00,808
In a bad way?

300
00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:02,816
No, honey, in a wonderful way.

301
00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:04,818
You know what you want now.

302
00:20:05,058 --> 00:20:06,582
Most guys don't even have a clue.

303
00:20:06,826 --> 00:20:10,626
You're ready to take risks, be
vulnerable and intimate with someone.

304
00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:12,421
You're not gonna end up alone.

305
00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:18,797
You called Janice. That's how much
you wanted to be with someone!

306
00:20:20,573 --> 00:20:22,473
-You've made it!
-You're there!

307
00:20:22,675 --> 00:20:25,109
You are ready to make a commitment!

308
00:20:25,345 --> 00:20:27,609
Don't know about that!

309
00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:36,080
What you got there?

310
00:20:36,289 --> 00:20:39,452
Something else that's not yours
that you can break?

311
00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:45,354
I know you like this
and I want you to have it.

312
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:47,589
It'll look good in our apartment.

313
00:20:48,768 --> 00:20:50,599
Thank you.

314
00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,303
That's fine.

315
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:04,341
You'll all be pleased to know
that I have a date tomorrow night.

316
00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:06,949
This woman Allison from work.
She is great.

317
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,348
She's pretty, she's smart.
And I've been...

318
00:21:10,623 --> 00:21:13,888
... holding off asking her out
in the past, because she has a...

319
00:21:14,994 --> 00:21:16,518
... unusually large head.

320
00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:21,194
But I'm not going to let
that stuff hang me up anymore.

321
00:21:21,801 --> 00:21:23,200
Look at me. I'm growing.

322
00:21:25,004 --> 00:21:27,666
You can't recycle yearbooks, can you?

323
00:21:28,508 --> 00:21:29,668
I'll take that.

324
00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:31,035
You want his yearbook?

325
00:21:32,045 --> 00:21:35,640
Some people said nice things about him.
Somebody should have it.

326
00:21:35,882 --> 00:21:38,316
Gosh, this is so weird.

327
00:21:38,651 --> 00:21:41,882
His whole life was in
this apartment and now it's gone.

328
00:21:43,156 --> 00:21:47,490
I think it would be nice if we just
took a few moments for Mr. Heckles.

329
00:21:48,594 --> 00:21:52,428
He was kind of a pain.
He was, but he was a person.

330
00:21:59,272 --> 00:22:00,899
You're all going to hell.

331
00:22:01,174 --> 00:22:03,335
It's really not that big!

332
00:22:06,512 --> 00:22:08,776
-Taking that with you, huh?
-Oh, yeah.

333
00:22:15,721 --> 00:22:16,551
You coming?

334
00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:18,282
In a second.

335
00:22:34,474 --> 00:22:36,465
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.

336
00:22:39,779 --> 00:22:41,940
We'll try to keep it down.

337
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:53,717
My major was useless.

338
00:22:53,926 --> 00:22:58,022
How often do you look in the classifieds
and see "Philosopher Wanted"?

339
00:22:58,231 --> 00:22:59,721
Sure.

340
00:22:59,932 --> 00:23:02,162
My God, that's a big head!

341
00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:07,904
It didn't look this big in the office.
Maybe it's the lighting.

342
00:23:08,107 --> 00:23:11,338
My head must look
like a golf ball at work.

343
00:23:12,445 --> 00:23:16,176
Don't get hung up on it. Quick!
List five things you like about her.

344
00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:18,416
Nice smile, good dresser.

345
00:23:18,618 --> 00:23:21,143
Big head, big head, big head!