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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with Phoebe's Husband"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,095
Mom, would you relax?

2
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:08,205
That was 10 blocks from here,
and any women won't walking alone at night.

3
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,034
I would never do that.

4
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,878
Mom, come on, stop worrying.

5
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:16,446
This is a safe street. This is
a safe building. There's nothing

6
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,642
Oh, my God! What are
you doing in here?!

7
00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,650
Mom, I gotta go! IT gotta go!

8
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:25,981
Oh, my God!

9
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:29,421
That's fine, you just read the paper.

10
00:00:30,165 --> 00:00:32,099
I'm gonna get a pot.

11
00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:34,365
It's not for you.

12
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,073
Okay, that's fine.

13
00:00:43,011 --> 00:00:46,037
Read the Family Circus...

14
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:49,581
...enjoy the gentle comedy....

15
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:56,255
Oh, my God, my God, my God, my God....

16
00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:07,928
It's open, you guys.

17
00:01:10,472 --> 00:01:11,439
Can I help you?

18
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,732
Does Phoebe still live here?

19
00:01:13,942 --> 00:01:16,308
No, she doesn't. But I can get
a message to her.

20
00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:19,445
Great. Just tell her
her husband stopped by.

21
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,114
Her what?

22
00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:25,109
How did you do that?

23
00:01:28,223 --> 00:01:30,157
The One With Phoebe's Husband

24
00:02:16,335 --> 00:02:19,600
This is unbelievable, Pheebs.
How can you be married?

25
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:21,670
I'm not "married"
married, you know?

26
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,568
He's just a friend, and he's gay...

27
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,438
...and he was from Canada,
and he needed a Green Card.

28
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:28,704
I can't believe you married Duncan!

29
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,646
How could you not tell me?
We told each other everything.

30
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:36,515
I'm sorry, but I knew if I told you,
you'd get judgmental...

31
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:37,688
...and wouldn't approve.

32
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,858
Of course I wouldn't approve!

33
00:02:40,092 --> 00:02:43,186
You were totally in love
with this guy who, hello, was gay.

34
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,193
What the hell were you thinking?

35
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:48,196
See? And you thought
she'd be judgmental.

36
00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:52,730
I wasn't in love with him.
I was helping out a friend.

37
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:56,305
When he left town, you
stayed in your pajamas for a month.

38
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,476
And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.

39
00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:03,240
Well, didn't you?

40
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:05,875
I might have.

41
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:09,084
I can't believe you didn't tell me.

42
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:10,755
Like you tell me everything?

43
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,948
What have I not told you?

44
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:14,825
I don't know.

45
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:18,996
The fact that the underwear out
on the telephone pole is yours...

46
00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,789
...from when you had sex
with Bobby on the terrace!

47
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,161
What?

48
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,261
Wait a minute! Who told you?

49
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,505
You are dead meat.

50
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:34,379
I didn't know it was a big secret.

51
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,705
Oh, it's not big. Not at all.

52
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,406
IKind of the same as, say...

53
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,117
... I don't know, having
a third nipple!

54
00:03:43,422 --> 00:03:45,447
You have a third nipple?

55
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,361
You bitch!

56
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,195
Whip it out! Whip it out!

57
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,636
There's nothing to see! It's a
tiny bump. It's totally useless.

58
00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:02,136
As opposed to your other
multi-functional nipples?

59
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,739
I can't believe you!
You told me it was a nubbin.

60
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,542
Joey, what did you think
a nubbin was?

61
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:15,447
You see something, you hear a word,
I thought that's what it was.

62
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:19,049
-Let me see it again!
-Yes, show us your nubbin!

63
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,958
Joey was in a porno movie!

64
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,558
If I'm going down,
I'm taking everybody with me!

65
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,095
-Oh, my God!
-You were in a porno?!

66
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:34,265
I was young and I just wanted a job.

67
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,574
But I couldn't go through with it.

68
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,911
They let me be the guy who fixes
the copier but can't...

69
00:04:40,112 --> 00:04:42,808
...because there's people
having sex on it.

70
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,644
That is wild!

71
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:49,144
-What's it shaped like?
-ls it hairy?

72
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,355
What happens if you flick it?

73
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,367
So does it do anything,
you know, special?

74
00:05:02,868 --> 00:05:05,996
Pressing my third nipple
opens the delivery entrance...

75
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,435
...to the magical land of Narnia.

76
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:14,138
In some cultures, having a third nipple
is actually a sign of virility.

77
00:05:14,346 --> 00:05:17,110
You get the best huts,
and women dance naked around you.

78
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:21,781
Are any of these cultures,
per chance, in the Tri-State area?

79
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:26,982
You know, you are so amazing.
Is there anything you don't know?

80
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:32,393
Julie's so smart!
Julie's so special!

81
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:40,092
I wanted you to hook up
with Ross as much as you did.

82
00:05:40,335 --> 00:05:43,771
But he's with her now.
You'll have to get over it.

83
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,735
Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.

84
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:50,536
I didn't know that's what I had to do.
I just have to get over it.

85
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:01,109
-Sassy lady!
-Where are you going?

86
00:06:01,586 --> 00:06:04,749
I'm meeting Duncan.
He's skating tonight at the Garden.

87
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,923
He's in the Capades.

88
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,193
-The lce Capades?
-No, the Gravel Capades.

89
00:06:12,898 --> 00:06:16,925
The turns aren't as fast,
but when Snoopy falls? Funny.

90
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:19,264
I can't believe
you'd dress up for him.

91
00:06:19,471 --> 00:06:21,769
You're setting yourself up
all over again.

92
00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:23,802
Okay, no.

93
00:06:24,876 --> 00:06:29,370
For your information, I'm seeing him
so I can put those feelings behind me.

94
00:06:29,948 --> 00:06:33,440
The reason I'm dressed like this
is because I think it's nice...

95
00:06:33,652 --> 00:06:36,120
...to look nice for your gay husband.

96
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:40,254
Darn it, we're all out of milk.

97
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:42,620
Chandler, will you fill me up here?

98
00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:53,434
I see, I see. Because of
the third-nipple thing.

99
00:07:01,146 --> 00:07:03,011
Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later.

100
00:07:04,349 --> 00:07:07,409
-See you later, Rach.
-Bye-bye, Julie.

101
00:07:17,696 --> 00:07:19,926
Come on, cut it out!

102
00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:26,460
-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.

103
00:07:28,206 --> 00:07:29,537
What?

104
00:07:30,509 --> 00:07:32,670
Come on, talk to me.

105
00:07:33,945 --> 00:07:38,712
What's the longest you've been
in a relationship before...

106
00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:42,982
... having the sex?

107
00:07:44,322 --> 00:07:46,790
Why? Who's not?
Are you and Julie not?

108
00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:48,983
Are you and Julie not having sex?

109
00:07:51,663 --> 00:07:53,062
Technically?

110
00:07:53,698 --> 00:07:54,630
No.

111
00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:59,968
Is it because she's so cold in bed?

112
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:05,174
Or because she's kind of bossy,
makes it feel like school?

113
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:10,180
No! She's great. And it's not
like we haven't done anything.

114
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:14,808
We do plenty of other stuff.
Lots of other stuff like

115
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:17,682
No! Don't need to know the details.

116
00:08:19,591 --> 00:08:20,990
No, it's just....

117
00:08:21,526 --> 00:08:22,993
It's me.

118
00:08:23,195 --> 00:08:26,221
I've only been with
one woman my whole life...

119
00:08:26,498 --> 00:08:29,558
...and she turned out to be a lesbian.

120
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:33,526
So now I've got myself
all psyched out.

121
00:08:34,406 --> 00:08:36,271
It's become, like, this...

122
00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:39,169
...this thing!

123
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:43,844
You must just think I'm weird.

124
00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:46,916
No, I don't think it's weird.

125
00:08:47,119 --> 00:08:49,610
I think, in fact....

126
00:08:49,855 --> 00:08:52,289
-ln fact, you know what I think?
-What?

127
00:08:53,058 --> 00:08:54,753
I think it's sexy.

128
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:57,259
Sexy?

129
00:08:57,529 --> 00:08:59,622
Let me tell you something.
As a woman...

130
00:08:59,898 --> 00:09:02,924
...there is nothing sexier...

131
00:09:03,201 --> 00:09:06,693
...than a man who does not
want to have sex.

132
00:09:07,806 --> 00:09:08,830
No kidding?

133
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,473
You know what I'd do?

134
00:09:10,709 --> 00:09:12,108
I'd wait.

135
00:09:13,945 --> 00:09:16,937
-You'd wait?
-Absolutely. I would wait...

136
00:09:17,315 --> 00:09:19,249
...and wait....

137
00:09:20,252 --> 00:09:21,913
Then I'd wait some more.

138
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:25,414
Really?

139
00:09:25,624 --> 00:09:29,685
I don't care if she tells you
she wants it, she begs, she pleads...

140
00:09:29,895 --> 00:09:33,626
...she tells you she's gonna
have sex with another man

141
00:09:33,899 --> 00:09:35,491
That just means it's working.

142
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:41,135
Women really want this?

143
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,135
More than jewelry.

144
00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:08,094
Look at you! You look great!

145
00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:10,593
Do l? Thank you.

146
00:10:10,969 --> 00:10:13,631
So do you. Sparkly!

147
00:10:18,843 --> 00:10:22,335
This is pretty wonderful,
Mr. Major Capades Guy!

148
00:10:23,648 --> 00:10:28,278
I remember when you were just
King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice.

149
00:10:29,854 --> 00:10:31,549
You always said I'd make it.

150
00:10:31,823 --> 00:10:34,690
Well, you know,
I'm kind of spooky that way.

151
00:10:36,695 --> 00:10:37,992
Gosh, I missed you!

152
00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:43,624
-I'm gonna get changed.
-Okay.

153
00:10:46,571 --> 00:10:47,560
Now.

154
00:10:50,342 --> 00:10:52,469
Oh! Right. Okay.

155
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,075
Ole!

156
00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:55,737
What?

157
00:10:57,249 --> 00:10:58,739
The Matador....

158
00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:04,083
Ole!

159
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:11,661
Sweetie, can you
hold this for a second?

160
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,941
Sorry, you had a
paleontologist on your face.

161
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,905
But it's gone now.
You're all right.

162
00:11:28,113 --> 00:11:29,740
Hi, everyone.

163
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:36,050
I wanted to thank you
for our little talk before.

164
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:39,746
No problem! So you're gonna
go with the waiting thing?

165
00:11:40,025 --> 00:11:43,392
I was going to, but after
I talked to you, I talked to Joey.

166
00:11:48,199 --> 00:11:50,064
Good. What did he say?

167
00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:52,964
He told me to get over myself
and just do it.

168
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,707
I thought about what you said
and about what he said.

169
00:11:56,908 --> 00:12:00,207
And his way, I get
to have sex tonight, so....

170
00:12:08,117 --> 00:12:10,449
What is this in my pocket?

171
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:13,314
Why, it's Joey's porno movie!

172
00:12:15,991 --> 00:12:17,083
Pop it in!

173
00:12:17,993 --> 00:12:20,325
I'm fine, if you're
okay watching a video...

174
00:12:20,563 --> 00:12:22,827
...filled with two-nippled people.

175
00:12:26,268 --> 00:12:29,066
People having sex.
That's just what I need to see.

176
00:12:29,471 --> 00:12:31,496
What's wrong with people having sex?

177
00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:38,905
Well, you know, these
movies are offensive...

178
00:12:39,148 --> 00:12:43,517
...and degrading
to women and females....

179
00:12:45,421 --> 00:12:48,754
And the lighting's
always unflattering.

180
00:12:51,694 --> 00:12:54,788
-Monica, help me out here.
-Hell, I wanna see Joey!

181
00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:05,765
So is there a story?
Or do they just start doing it right

182
00:13:05,975 --> 00:13:07,840
Oh. Never mind.

183
00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:11,772
Wait a minute. That is the craziest
typing test I've ever seen.

184
00:13:13,549 --> 00:13:15,881
All I say is, she'd
better get the job.

185
00:13:16,185 --> 00:13:19,154
Looks to me like he's
the one getting the job.

186
00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:22,721
Here I come.

187
00:13:22,958 --> 00:13:24,721
See, I'm coming to fix the copier.

188
00:13:25,027 --> 00:13:28,724
I can't get to the copier.
I'm thinking, "What do I do?"

189
00:13:30,499 --> 00:13:32,865
So I just watch them have sex.

190
00:13:36,372 --> 00:13:37,839
Then I say Here's my line!

191
00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:40,641
You know, that's bad
for the paper tray.

192
00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:44,635
Nice work, my friend!

193
00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,715
Wait, you see me again. Hang on,
the guy's butt's blocking me.

194
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:53,748
There I am. There I am.
There I am....

195
00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:04,022
So what's up?
You came to see me yesterday.

196
00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:12,200
I kind of need a divorce.

197
00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:13,768
O...

198
00:14:14,243 --> 00:14:15,437
... kay.

199
00:14:16,011 --> 00:14:16,943
How come?

200
00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:20,943
Actually, I'm getting married again.

201
00:14:21,216 --> 00:14:22,410
What?

202
00:14:22,618 --> 00:14:24,609
I don't know how to tell you this.

203
00:14:27,022 --> 00:14:28,546
I'm straight.

204
00:14:32,628 --> 00:14:35,961
I don't understand.
How can you be straight?

205
00:14:36,198 --> 00:14:38,598
You're so smart and funny...

206
00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:41,702
...and you throw
such great Academy Award parties!

207
00:14:41,904 --> 00:14:44,270
That's what I kept telling myself.

208
00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:47,976
But you reach a point
where you can't live a lie anymore.

209
00:14:49,311 --> 00:14:51,541
How long have you known?

210
00:14:53,215 --> 00:14:56,651
I guess on some level
I always knew I was straight.

211
00:14:57,619 --> 00:14:59,712
I thought I was supposed
to be something else.

212
00:14:59,955 --> 00:15:04,654
I'm an ice dancer, all my friends
are gay. I was just trying to fit in.

213
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:10,626
And there's actually a woman?

214
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,631
Her name's Debra.

215
00:15:16,305 --> 00:15:19,240
Well, is she the first
that you've been with?

216
00:15:20,976 --> 00:15:23,001
I've never told you this...

217
00:15:24,146 --> 00:15:28,412
... but there were one
or two times back in college when...

218
00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:30,676
... I'd get drunk,
go to a straight bar...

219
00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:33,479
...and wake up with
a woman next to me.

220
00:15:34,156 --> 00:15:38,593
I told myself it was the liquor,
and everyone experiments in college.

221
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:41,119
Sure.

222
00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:45,130
Now I know I don't have a choice.
I was born this way!

223
00:15:48,437 --> 00:15:50,928
I don't know what to say.

224
00:15:51,173 --> 00:15:54,939
You're married to someone for
six years and you think you know him.

225
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:58,043
And then one day he says,
"Oh, I'm not gay!"

226
00:16:03,452 --> 00:16:05,647
I'm still me.

227
00:16:07,689 --> 00:16:11,181
Why couldn't you just have
figured this out six years ago?

228
00:16:13,796 --> 00:16:16,390
You know, it still
smells like monkey in there.

229
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,994
That saves us the conversation.

230
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:25,635
This has been great,
but I'm officially wiped.

231
00:16:25,841 --> 00:16:28,036
Me too. We should get going.

232
00:16:28,343 --> 00:16:30,868
No! Come on, you guys!

233
00:16:32,347 --> 00:16:34,577
Come on, it's only 1 1 :30.

234
00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:38,911
Let's just talk. We never just
hang out and talk anymore.

235
00:16:39,221 --> 00:16:41,655
Rachel, that's all we do.

236
00:16:43,358 --> 00:16:46,020
Maybe that's all we do.
What about Julie?

237
00:16:47,362 --> 00:16:48,920
What about Julie?

238
00:16:49,364 --> 00:16:53,164
You have been in our lives
for nearly two months now...

239
00:16:53,769 --> 00:16:55,669
...and we don't really know you.

240
00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:57,428
I mean, who is Julie?

241
00:16:58,941 --> 00:17:01,068
What do you like?
What don't you like?

242
00:17:01,276 --> 00:17:03,506
We want to know everything.

243
00:17:03,846 --> 00:17:05,746
Well, that could take awhile.

244
00:17:06,348 --> 00:17:07,508
So?

245
00:17:09,118 --> 00:17:12,519
Who here does not have
the time to get to know Julie?

246
00:17:12,788 --> 00:17:15,120
I got the time to get to know Julie.

247
00:17:17,392 --> 00:17:19,451
I know her pretty well.
Can I go?

248
00:17:22,397 --> 00:17:23,625
That's fine.

249
00:17:23,866 --> 00:17:27,529
Let's start with your childhood.
What was that like?

250
00:17:28,871 --> 00:17:29,803
In a nutshell

251
00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:37,105
So, have you told your parents?

252
00:17:37,613 --> 00:17:40,605
No, but it'll be okay.
They're pretty cool.

253
00:17:40,816 --> 00:17:43,148
My brother's straight, so....

254
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,085
Here you go.

255
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:48,881
You know what?
I just have one more question.

256
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:54,228
If you had figured this out sooner,
and I had been around...

257
00:17:54,496 --> 00:17:57,226
...do you think l
would have been the one...?

258
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,261
No. Don't tell me.

259
00:18:00,502 --> 00:18:04,461
I don't think either answer
would make me feel better. Here.

260
00:18:06,475 --> 00:18:07,635
I love you, Phoebe.

261
00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:25,324
So your brother's straight, huh?

262
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:28,021
Seriously.

263
00:18:31,533 --> 00:18:34,934
and my second-grade teacher
was Miss Thomas...

264
00:18:35,137 --> 00:18:37,765
...and my first-grade teacher
was Mrs. Cobb.

265
00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:40,131
Mrs. Gobb?

266
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:43,003
No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.

267
00:18:46,181 --> 00:18:48,274
What exactly is in a cobb salad?

268
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:49,882
I'm going home.

269
00:18:55,157 --> 00:18:57,387
Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?

270
00:18:59,528 --> 00:19:00,790
Good night.

271
00:19:04,366 --> 00:19:07,460
It's pretty late. You're
probably not still planning on....

272
00:19:08,503 --> 00:19:09,902
No, I am.

273
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:13,405
Are you nervous?

274
00:19:15,844 --> 00:19:17,709
I have done it before.

275
00:19:19,181 --> 00:19:21,513
I mean, how are
you gonna handle it?

276
00:19:21,717 --> 00:19:25,813
Are you gonna talk about it beforehand?
Are you just gonna pounce?

277
00:19:27,089 --> 00:19:29,319
I don't know. I guess
I'm just gonna...

278
00:19:29,992 --> 00:19:32,256
...see what happens.

279
00:19:33,528 --> 00:19:35,393
Good luck!

280
00:19:37,899 --> 00:19:38,888
What?

281
00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:40,765
Nothing....

282
00:19:41,903 --> 00:19:46,897
It is your first time with her,
and if the first time doesn't go well...

283
00:19:47,276 --> 00:19:51,042
...well then, that's pretty darn
hard to recover from.

284
00:19:53,181 --> 00:19:55,206
Okay, now I'm nervous.

285
00:19:57,753 --> 00:19:59,345
Maybe you should put it off.

286
00:20:00,022 --> 00:20:02,286
No, I don't want to put it off!

287
00:20:06,695 --> 00:20:09,960
I spent last year being
so unbelievably miserable.

288
00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:13,099
And now I'm actually happy.

289
00:20:15,070 --> 00:20:17,061
You know, I mean really happy.

290
00:20:17,639 --> 00:20:19,402
I just don't wanna....

291
00:20:19,941 --> 00:20:22,705
I don't wanna mess it up, you know?

292
00:20:24,813 --> 00:20:26,041
I know.

293
00:20:29,117 --> 00:20:30,607
I'm sorry.

294
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,912
It's not your fault.

295
00:20:33,322 --> 00:20:34,380
Right.

296
00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:39,154
Maybe it doesn't
have to be this tough.

297
00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:44,755
Maybe you were on the right track
with that whole "spontaneous" thing.

298
00:20:45,233 --> 00:20:48,168
-Women really like that.
-Really?

299
00:20:51,073 --> 00:20:54,440
I mean if it were me,
I'd want you to....

300
00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:58,810
I don't know, catch me off guard
with a really...

301
00:20:59,514 --> 00:21:00,845
...good kiss.

302
00:21:03,618 --> 00:21:07,520
Really sort of soft at first.

303
00:21:08,657 --> 00:21:13,594
And then maybe brush
the hair away from my face.

304
00:21:14,096 --> 00:21:18,192
And then look far into my eyes...

305
00:21:18,467 --> 00:21:21,095
...in a way that lets me
know something...

306
00:21:22,337 --> 00:21:24,601
...amazing is about to happen.

307
00:21:31,179 --> 00:21:33,147
And then, I don't know, then...

308
00:21:33,348 --> 00:21:36,317
...you'd pull me
really close to you so that...

309
00:21:36,518 --> 00:21:40,045
...so that I'd be pressed up
right against you.

310
00:21:42,491 --> 00:21:44,652
And it would get kind of...

311
00:21:46,395 --> 00:21:47,987
...sweaty...

312
00:21:50,365 --> 00:21:51,730
...and blurry.

313
00:21:54,736 --> 00:21:57,000
And then it's just happening.

314
00:22:04,146 --> 00:22:05,909
Thanks, Rach. Good night!

315
00:22:10,252 --> 00:22:11,981
Oh, God!

316
00:22:27,269 --> 00:22:28,668
Good morning!

317
00:22:29,838 --> 00:22:32,830
Well, somebody got some last night!

318
00:22:37,813 --> 00:22:39,144
Twice!