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General InformationEdit

Title "The One with Phoebe's Dad"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt

SubtitlesEdit

​1
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:08,372
Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree.

2
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,277
You should see the size
of his Christmas balls!

3
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,577
How much did you tip the super?

4
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:22,217
We were gonna give 50,
but we don't wanna look bad.

5
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,421
This year we made him cookies.

6
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,886
And 25 it is.

7
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:29,853
You gave cookies?

8
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,963
Money is so impersonal.

9
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,929
Cookies says someone cares.

10
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,968
We're broke,
but cookies do say that.

11
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,262
I can see that.

12
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,567
A plate of brownies told me a limerick.

13
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:49,271
Pheebs, let me ask you something.
Were these "funny" brownies?

14
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,114
Not especially.

15
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,317
But I think they had pot in them.

16
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,923
So who else did you tip
with cookies?

17
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,126
The mailman, the super....

18
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,688
And the newspaper delivery guy.

19
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,668
Oh, my God.

20
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:09,766
What?

21
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,272
You're not gonna like this.

22
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:19,109
These are cookies smashed
to the sports section.

23
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,173
He did my crossword puzzle.

24
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:25,784
Yeah, but not very well, unless
14 across, "Gershwin musical"...

25
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,011
...actually is "Bite me,
bite me, bite me."

26
00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,216
The One With Phoebe's Dad

27
00:02:17,339 --> 00:02:19,671
I can't believe
it's Christmas already.

28
00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:23,042
One day you're eating turkey,
the next thing you know...

29
00:02:23,245 --> 00:02:26,146
...Iords are a-leaping
and geese are a-laying.

30
00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:31,313
Which is why geese are
so relaxed this time of year.

31
00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:33,815
Hey, guys.

32
00:02:36,592 --> 00:02:37,581
Hey, Rach.

33
00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:40,926
I got you a little present.

34
00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:44,132
I'll open it.

35
00:02:46,168 --> 00:02:47,192
It's a Slinky!

36
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:49,494
Remember?

37
00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:51,969
Walks downstairs
Alone or in pairs

38
00:02:52,174 --> 00:02:54,039
Everyone knows it's

39
00:02:55,778 --> 00:02:57,370
Just a big spring.

40
00:02:58,547 --> 00:03:00,811
You're still mad
because of the whole

41
00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:03,348
Horrible list of reasons
not to be with me?

42
00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:06,885
How about we just call it
the "unfortunate incident"?

43
00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:12,826
Hey, Gunther.
You got stairs in your place?

44
00:03:13,395 --> 00:03:14,885
Go nuts.

45
00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:18,021
Hey, guys.

46
00:03:20,135 --> 00:03:21,568
What's in the bag?

47
00:03:22,304 --> 00:03:23,328
Some presents.

48
00:03:23,539 --> 00:03:25,530
Come on, show us what you bought.

49
00:03:26,008 --> 00:03:27,703
You know you want to.

50
00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:36,347
This is a picture frame
from Ben to my parents.

51
00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:38,042
Oh, that's cute.

52
00:03:38,253 --> 00:03:41,347
Some "Hers" and "Hers" towels
for Susan and Carol.

53
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:47,657
And I got this blouse for Mom.

54
00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:49,496
Ross, that is gorgeous!

55
00:03:50,165 --> 00:03:52,895
Look at these authentic fake metals!

56
00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:55,261
Mom's gonna be voted "best dressed"...

57
00:03:55,504 --> 00:03:58,098
...at the make-believe
military academy!

58
00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,905
Happy "Christmas Eve" Eve.

59
00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:06,845
Oh, my God!
Where did you get this?

60
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,949
Macy's, third floor,
home furnishings.

61
00:04:10,185 --> 00:04:11,413
This is my father!

62
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,111
This is a picture of my dad!

63
00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:19,353
That's the guy
that comes in the frame.

64
00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:21,859
No, it's my dad.
I'll show you.

65
00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,232
I thought your dad was in prison.

66
00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:26,060
No, that's my stepdad.

67
00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:29,567
My real dad's the one that
ran out on us before I was born.

68
00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,735
How have you never been on Oprah?

69
00:04:33,642 --> 00:04:35,610
Look, see? This is him.

70
00:04:35,878 --> 00:04:39,473
My mother gave me this picture
before she died. Same guy!

71
00:04:42,618 --> 00:04:44,779
This is a picture of the frame guy...

72
00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:48,115
...posing in front of
a blue screen with a collie.

73
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:51,491
It's not a blue screen.
It's just....

74
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,490
Maybe it was just
really clear that day.

75
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:59,627
Okay, I have to talk
to my grandmother.

76
00:05:00,102 --> 00:05:01,467
Wait a minute, honey!

77
00:05:06,975 --> 00:05:09,944
I'm trying to get my boss's
ex-wife to sleep with me.

78
00:05:12,414 --> 00:05:15,508
But when Phoebe has a problem,
everyone's all ears!

79
00:05:18,253 --> 00:05:20,744
Esther Livingston.

80
00:05:22,591 --> 00:05:23,615
Gone!

81
00:05:26,028 --> 00:05:27,120
Hi, Pooh.

82
00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,924
Hi, Gram. What you doing?

83
00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:32,760
Just updating the phone book.

84
00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:35,035
Gram?

85
00:05:36,371 --> 00:05:38,601
Can I see the pictures
of my dad again?

86
00:05:40,776 --> 00:05:41,834
Sure, sure.

87
00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:44,444
How come?

88
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,342
Just, you know, to see him.

89
00:05:47,549 --> 00:05:48,880
Sure. Here.

90
00:05:51,153 --> 00:05:54,020
This is the one
of your father in a meadow.

91
00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:58,390
And helping a little boy fly a kite.

92
00:05:59,194 --> 00:06:01,992
And here he is at a graduation.

93
00:06:03,565 --> 00:06:05,192
Another graduation.

94
00:06:08,070 --> 00:06:09,867
Another graduation.

95
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,637
Is this really my father?

96
00:06:14,143 --> 00:06:16,373
Is it really your fa?

97
00:06:17,646 --> 00:06:19,375
Well, of course it is.

98
00:06:20,182 --> 00:06:23,549
I smell smoke. Maybe because
someone's pants are on fire!

99
00:06:25,988 --> 00:06:28,855
In all the years we've been
grandmother and granddaughter...

100
00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:30,388
...you've never lied.

101
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:36,094
All right, that's not your father.
It's a picture of a guy in a frame.

102
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,534
Oh, God.

103
00:06:40,335 --> 00:06:42,428
It was your mother's idea.

104
00:06:42,704 --> 00:06:45,070
She didn't want you
to know your real father...

105
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,208
... because he hurt her so much.

106
00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:49,403
I didn't want to do it.

107
00:06:49,611 --> 00:06:52,944
But then she died
and it was harder to argue with her.

108
00:06:54,883 --> 00:06:57,249
Not impossible, but harder.

109
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:01,712
All right. So he's not
a famous tree surgeon?

110
00:07:06,128 --> 00:07:10,462
And I guess he doesn't live in a hut
in Burma where there's no phones?

111
00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:14,360
Last I heard, he was
a pharmacist somewhere upstate.

112
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:16,197
That makes no sense.

113
00:07:16,405 --> 00:07:19,465
Why would the villagers
worship a pharmacist?

114
00:07:21,476 --> 00:07:22,738
Honey.

115
00:07:26,148 --> 00:07:29,140
Anyway, that's all I know.

116
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,812
That...

117
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,457
...and this.

118
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:40,887
This...

119
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,730
...is the real him.

120
00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:51,898
I remember my father
all dressed up in the red suit...

121
00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:55,234
...the big black boots
and the patent leather belt...

122
00:07:55,477 --> 00:07:58,469
...sneaking around downstairs.
He didn't want us to see him...

123
00:07:58,747 --> 00:08:03,150
... but he'd be drunk, so he'd crash
into something and wake everybody up.

124
00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:06,645
That doesn't sound like
a very merry Christmas.

125
00:08:06,922 --> 00:08:08,981
Who said anything about Christmas?

126
00:08:12,794 --> 00:08:14,694
Anyone hear from Phoebe yet?

127
00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,090
No, nothing.

128
00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:17,762
I hope she's okay.

129
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,991
I know exactly
what she's going through.

130
00:08:20,769 --> 00:08:22,498
How do you know that?

131
00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:24,302
She told us.

132
00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:29,438
What do you got there, Monica?

133
00:08:29,678 --> 00:08:30,872
Stuff for the party.

134
00:08:31,113 --> 00:08:34,014
Aren't you guys
supposed to be shopping?

135
00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:35,808
You didn't buy presents yet?

136
00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:38,781
Tomorrow's Christmas Eve!
What are you gonna do?

137
00:08:38,987 --> 00:08:41,854
Don't you have to be
Claymation to say that?

138
00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:46,726
I don't think the mailman
liked your cookies.

139
00:08:46,962 --> 00:08:48,793
The ornaments your mom sent.

140
00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:57,404
Maybe the mailman liked the cookies.
We just didn't give him enough.

141
00:08:57,639 --> 00:09:00,506
Monica, pigeons learn faster than you.

142
00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:09,875
Hey, Rach.

143
00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:13,053
I think I know what will
make you feel better.

144
00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:15,985
How about you make a list about me?

145
00:09:16,191 --> 00:09:18,421
Forget it.
I'm not gonna stand here...

146
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:19,820
...and make a list

147
00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:21,996
Okay, you're whiny...

148
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:25,461
...you are obsessive,
you are insecure...

149
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,032
...you're gutless.

150
00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:29,260
You don't ever just "seize the day."

151
00:09:29,571 --> 00:09:33,598
You liked me for a year
and you didn't do anything about it.

152
00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:37,005
And you wear too much
of that gel in your hair.

153
00:09:40,582 --> 00:09:42,209
See, there....

154
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,885
All right, you did what I said.

155
00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:48,448
And you know what?
You're right. I do feel better.

156
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:49,679
Thank you, Ross.

157
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:59,928
Yeah, in Albany. Could I have
the number of Frank Buffay?

158
00:10:01,403 --> 00:10:03,633
Okay. In lthaca?

159
00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:07,241
All right, Saratoga?

160
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,470
Oneonta?

161
00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:14,113
You know what? You shouldn't
call yourself lnformation!

162
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:24,084
Hello, Grandma. If that is,
in fact, your real name.

163
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,054
Come on now, Pooh.
Don't still be mad at me.

164
00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:32,228
-How's it going?
-Not so good.

165
00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:36,760
Upstate's pretty big.
He's pretty small. You do the math.

166
00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:40,473
Well, I think you're
better off without him.

167
00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:43,403
Oh, honey, I know he's your daddy.

168
00:10:43,645 --> 00:10:46,773
But to me, he's still
the irresponsible creep...

169
00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:50,577
...who locked up your mom
and stole her Gremlin.

170
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:56,252
I know. I just wanted to know
who he was, you know?

171
00:10:58,326 --> 00:10:59,759
Yeah, I know.

172
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:06,558
I wasn't completely honest with you
when I said I didn't know...

173
00:11:06,768 --> 00:11:08,998
...exactly where he lived.

174
00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:10,964
What do you mean?

175
00:11:11,173 --> 00:11:15,200
He lives at 74 Laurel Drive
in Middletown.

176
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,106
If you hit the Dairy Queen,
you've gone too far.

177
00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:22,180
You can take my cab.

178
00:11:24,186 --> 00:11:25,175
Thank you.

179
00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:30,122
-Nobody else drives that cab.
-Got it.

180
00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,785
I'm gonna see my dad!

181
00:11:34,362 --> 00:11:35,294
Thank you.

182
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,627
Wish me luck, Grandpa.

183
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,139
Phoebe here with the cab yet?

184
00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:55,474
Yeah, she brought the invisible cab.

185
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,910
Hop in!

186
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,447
She'd better get here.
The stores close at 7.

187
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:03,452
It'll be two hours
to Phoebe's dad's house...

188
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,750
...they'll meet, chat,
swap life stories.

189
00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:09,954
We'll have plenty of time.

190
00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:13,328
Hey, here she comes!

191
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,966
Can you believe this?

192
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:26,276
In, like, two hours
I'm gonna have a dad.

193
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,811
Yeah, big stuff!

194
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:30,477
Okay, let's go!

195
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:32,650
Here, you have to hold this.

196
00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:38,021
"Brake, left. Gas, right"?

197
00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,288
That's my cheat sheet.

198
00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:46,960
-Where's my seat belt?
-There isn't one.

199
00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:49,462
The paramedics had to cut through it.

200
00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:04,446
Come on, just tell me.
Please, please!

201
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:08,618
For the 16th time:
No, I do not think you're obsessive!

202
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:13,219
-It's hot in here!
-Rach, get the heat.

203
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:15,688
Ross, turn the heat down, please?

204
00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:18,355
The difference between obsessive

205
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,688
Ross, the heat!

206
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:23,857
Okay! Heat, heat, heat!
And I'm the obsessive one?

207
00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:28,037
This way is on.

208
00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:30,503
So this is...

209
00:13:33,077 --> 00:13:34,135
...off.

210
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,009
Did you just break the radiator?

211
00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:40,912
No, I was turning the knob and...

212
00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,843
... here it is.

213
00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:45,522
Well, put it back!

214
00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:50,421
It won't go back.

215
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,720
I'll call the super.

216
00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:53,327
Here, let me try.

217
00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:56,989
That's right. I forgot about
your ability to fuse metal.

218
00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,730
Hey, it's Funny's cousin...

219
00:13:59,938 --> 00:14:00,996
... Not Funny!

220
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:02,768
Hi, Mr. Treeger?

221
00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:04,907
It's Rachel Greene from upstairs.

222
00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:08,202
Yes, somebody broke our knob
on the radiator...

223
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:10,779
...and it's really hot in here.

224
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,410
Yes, it's hot enough
to bake cookies.

225
00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:19,353
Could we have a new one by 6?

226
00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:22,456
Tuesday?
We can't wait until Tuesday.

227
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:24,285
We're having a party tonight.

228
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:26,019
Okay, tip the man.

229
00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:28,529
If he doesn't like
our cookies, too bad.

230
00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,961
I won't be blackmailed.

231
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,465
Look, if it gets a little warm...

232
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,397
...it can be a theme party.

233
00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:37,403
Here's a theme:
"Come on in, live like bacon!"

234
00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,005
This is it!

235
00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:43,337
Seventy-four.

236
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,080
So that's what this is for!

237
00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:52,249
This is it.
I'm gonna meet my dad.

238
00:14:52,657 --> 00:14:54,818
This is like
the biggest thing ever.

239
00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,060
Sure is.

240
00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,922
Here I go. I'm going in.

241
00:14:59,163 --> 00:14:59,993
All right!

242
00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:01,856
Good luck, Pheebs.

243
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,159
Here I go.

244
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,528
Here I go.

245
00:15:10,274 --> 00:15:11,673
I'm going.

246
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:27,683
Welcome to our tropical
Christmas party.

247
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:31,451
Put your coats, sweaters,
pants and shirts in the bedroom.

248
00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:36,399
It's hard to tell
because I'm sweating...

249
00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:39,660
... but I use exactly
what the gel bottle says.

250
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:46,543
An amount about the size of a pea.
How can that be too much?

251
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,473
Ice?

252
00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:54,574
Ice? Ice squares anyone?
Take a napkin.

253
00:15:56,754 --> 00:15:57,982
Monica!

254
00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:02,148
Your guests are turning into jerky.

255
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,521
Really?
I'm perfectly comfortable.

256
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:07,820
Hey! Get in line, buddy.
I was next.

257
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,564
Mr. Treeger.

258
00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:15,338
You said there was a party.

259
00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,202
Well, hey, welcome to our sauna.

260
00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:22,571
Is it hot?
My body always stays cool.

261
00:16:22,847 --> 00:16:25,042
Probably because I have so much skin.

262
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,945
Hey, cheese!

263
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,382
Here's the chance.
Monica, give him cash.

264
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:35,718
Rachel, give him your earrings.
Something. Anything!

265
00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:37,519
No, I will not cave.

266
00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:38,626
I'm with Mon.

267
00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:42,196
All right. You know how you say
I never seize the day?

268
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:45,732
Even though he's your super,
I'm seizing.

269
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:48,900
Mr. Treeger?

270
00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:52,735
Here is $50.
Merry Christmas.

271
00:16:54,312 --> 00:16:56,109
I didn't get you anything.

272
00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:58,408
Here's five back.

273
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,314
No, that's your Christmas tip.

274
00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:07,081
Do you think there's a chance
you can fix that radiator now?

275
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:09,452
No can do.
Like I told the girl...

276
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,489
... I can't get a knob until Tuesday.

277
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:13,295
Ross?

278
00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:15,792
He's playing baseball.

279
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,627
You mean hardball?

280
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:22,263
Whatever.

281
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:24,098
What you gonna do?

282
00:17:24,308 --> 00:17:26,435
Excuse me. I'm seizing.

283
00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:27,906
Mr. Treeger?

284
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,804
Here's another 50.

285
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:32,510
Happy Hanukkah.

286
00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:36,111
Will this help
with the knob-getting?

287
00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:40,350
No, the place is not open
till Tuesday.

288
00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:43,016
Am I not saying it right?

289
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,862
So you really did like my cookies?

290
00:17:47,098 --> 00:17:50,864
Yeah, they were so personal.
It really showed you cared.

291
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,101
Nice seizing...

292
00:17:58,342 --> 00:17:59,934
...gel boy.

293
00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,549
Is this mistletoe?

294
00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:10,179
No, that....

295
00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:12,217
That is basil.

296
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:19,019
If it was mistletoe,
I was gonna kiss you.

297
00:18:21,332 --> 00:18:22,959
No, it's still basil.

298
00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:30,165
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

299
00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:36,412
Jack Frost nipping at your nose

300
00:18:38,916 --> 00:18:40,645
-How far did you get?
-Mailbox.

301
00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:43,513
All right, we're getting closer.

302
00:18:45,323 --> 00:18:46,483
What's going on?

303
00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:50,020
It's just like
a whole mess of stuff.

304
00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:54,823
Like yesterday, my dad was
this famous Burma tree-surgeon guy.

305
00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:58,502
And you know, now he's
a pharmacist guy and....

306
00:18:58,703 --> 00:19:02,833
Well, maybe he's this
really cool pharmacist guy.

307
00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:06,908
Yeah, maybe!
And I'll knock on the door...

308
00:19:07,578 --> 00:19:10,843
...and he'll hug me,
and I'll have a dad!

309
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:14,711
I'll go to his pharmacy and
everyone will be nice to me...

310
00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:17,750
... because, you know,
I'm Frank's daughter.

311
00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:19,354
So why not go knock?

312
00:19:23,194 --> 00:19:27,961
Because, I mean, what if
he's not this great-dad guy?

313
00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:33,395
What if he's still the dirtbag
who ran out on my mom and us?

314
00:19:38,442 --> 00:19:39,807
You know what?

315
00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:43,140
I've already lost
a fake dad this week.

316
00:19:44,715 --> 00:19:47,115
I don't think I'm ready
to lose a real one.

317
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:53,317
Pheebs, that's okay.
You took a big step today.

318
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,787
Someday, when you're ready,
you'll make it past the hedges.

319
00:19:59,997 --> 00:20:02,830
And when you do,
he'll be lucky to have you.

320
00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:05,391
You guys....

321
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,131
Sorry about your shopping.

322
00:20:11,342 --> 00:20:14,243
Oh, that's okay.
We'll figure something out.

323
00:20:16,947 --> 00:20:19,142
I know you're not going in there...

324
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:22,786
... but you think it's okay
if I go in and use his bathroom?

325
00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:25,686
That's fine, never mind.

326
00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:28,981
Cool, snow!

327
00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:31,127
Kind of like a blank canvas.

328
00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:44,299
Ho-ho-ho-holy crap,
is it hot in here!

329
00:20:46,644 --> 00:20:48,703
You mind if I turn the heat down?

330
00:20:48,946 --> 00:20:52,177
We could have used
that kind of thinking earlier!

331
00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:54,277
So, Pheebs, how did it go?

332
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:56,846
Oh, I couldn't go in.

333
00:20:57,054 --> 00:20:59,022
-Honey, I'm sorry.
-Are you okay?

334
00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:01,987
Yeah, it's okay,
because I know he's there.

335
00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:04,127
So that's enough for now.

336
00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:07,491
Hey, it's after midnight!
Merry Christmas, everyone!

337
00:21:07,698 --> 00:21:10,633
Oh, right! Merry Christmas!

338
00:21:12,837 --> 00:21:14,134
The knob was broken...

339
00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:17,830
...so I turned it off from underneath.
I hope that's all right.

340
00:21:37,553 --> 00:21:39,578
Rach, these are for you.

341
00:21:40,556 --> 00:21:42,080
Wiper blades!

342
00:21:42,859 --> 00:21:44,554
I don't even have a car.

343
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,856
No, but with this new-car smell,
you'll think you do!

344
00:21:51,868 --> 00:21:53,859
Okay, Pheebs, your turn.

345
00:21:57,974 --> 00:21:59,601
Toilet-seat covers!

346
00:22:02,745 --> 00:22:05,407
Is that what you did
while I got gas?

347
00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:07,442
You guys!

348
00:22:08,551 --> 00:22:09,643
And for Ross...

349
00:22:09,919 --> 00:22:11,580
... Mr. Sweet Tooth.

350
00:22:15,391 --> 00:22:17,325
You got me a cola drink?

351
00:22:18,494 --> 00:22:20,291
And a lemon-lime!

352
00:22:22,331 --> 00:22:27,200
Well, this is too much! I feel like
I should get you another sweater.

353
00:22:29,438 --> 00:22:31,531
And last, but not least....

354
00:22:33,943 --> 00:22:36,104
They're ribbed for your pleasure!