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General InformationEdit

Title "Best Prom Ever"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt
Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Best_Prom_Ever

SubtitlesEdit

1
00:00:17,483 --> 00:00:21,253
Kids, about eight months into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement,

2
00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:24,039
there occurred a game-changing emergency.

3
00:00:24,089 --> 00:00:25,524
Van Smoot is available.

4
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,803
Oh, my God!

5
00:00:26,804 --> 00:00:30,358
Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion right on the Hudson River.

6
00:00:30,359 --> 00:00:32,886
It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding,

7
00:00:32,887 --> 00:00:34,390
but it was never available.

8
00:00:34,391 --> 00:00:36,885
And then, suddenly, it was.

9
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There was a cancellation two months from now.

10
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,510
You want to have our wedding in two months?

11
00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:43,080
No. It's impossible.

12
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,833
It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream!

13
00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:49,003
No, there's just not enough time. There's no way...

14
00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,176
Oh! Mini-vomit.

15
00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:53,811
Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it.

16
00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:57,170
If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check.

17
00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:58,866
Todd and Valerie?

18
00:01:00,913 --> 00:01:03,988
When you're planning a wedding, there's always one couple with similar taste

19
00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,042
that seems to be one step ahead of you.

20
00:01:06,042 --> 00:01:08,317
Todd and Valerie were that couple.

21
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,900
We got to make a decision.

22
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,995
Todd and Valerie are in motion.

23
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Van Smoot!

24
00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:18,617
Oh! Kids, color!

25
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,225
- Come on, baby.
- Come on, come on, come on.

26
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Hello, Marshall.

27
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Lily.

28
00:01:42,372 --> 00:01:43,737
Todd.

29
00:01:44,281 --> 00:01:45,747
Valerie.

30
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Stairs.

31
00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:53,150
I can't believe it.

32
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:55,462
We got Van Smoot House.

33
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It is on. It is on!

34
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,885
Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.

35
00:02:01,841 --> 00:02:02,887
- What?
- You're a wonder.

36
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,052
Wow! You guys are getting married in two months.

37
00:02:05,052 --> 00:02:06,663
How are you going to get everything done?

38
00:02:06,663 --> 00:02:10,191
Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up.

39
00:02:10,191 --> 00:02:13,216
Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist.

40
00:02:14,493 --> 00:02:17,753
Robin had been mad at me since the night I slightly exaggerated

41
00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:20,415
my not-having-a-girlfriend-ness.

42
00:02:20,421 --> 00:02:23,108
- Was it...?
- It was your girlfriend.

43
00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:25,357
You might want to call her back.

44
00:02:26,053 --> 00:02:30,042
Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist?

45
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:35,545
And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on... on the invitations.

46
00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:38,717
Wow. That was really awkward, Lil.

47
00:02:40,463 --> 00:02:43,536
And still. It's still really awkward right now.

48
00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:47,738
Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do?

49
00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,531
Okay, your job is very simple.

50
00:02:49,531 --> 00:02:54,717
At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.

51
00:02:57,061 --> 00:02:59,026
Lil, you know I can't promise that.

52
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:05,446
Shh! Shh!

53
00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:08,916
Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out.

54
00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:11,688
Hey, babe.

55
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,763
Hey, little one.

56
00:03:13,763 --> 00:03:15,856
- Hey, Lilypad.
- Crap!

57
00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:18,070
Band! We forgot a band!

58
00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,990
It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing.

59
00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:23,143
Shh! Shh! Baby, don't worry about it.

60
00:03:23,143 --> 00:03:25,082
I called The 88!

61
00:03:25,082 --> 00:03:26,941
- Who?
- The 88.

62
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,291
They're this awesome band.

63
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,810
They played my law review party. They were found guilty.

64
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,851
On three counts of rocking.

65
00:03:32,851 --> 00:03:35,936
I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great.

66
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:38,681
John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin?

67
00:03:38,681 --> 00:03:41,277
Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin,

68
00:03:41,281 --> 00:03:44,465
who died in 1980, got married two months ago.

69
00:03:44,942 --> 00:03:48,100
Look, I... I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen.

70
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,382
We... we don't even know if they can play our song.

71
00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:52,890
They're... they're going to have to come over here and audition.

72
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:54,733
Baby, The 88 don't audition.

73
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:56,905
They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands.

74
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,708
Well, then... I have to say no.

75
00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,180
Baby, they're only holding the date until Monday.

76
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:06,368
Well... well, are they playing anywhere this weekend?

77
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,758
Let me check their Website.

78
00:04:09,912 --> 00:04:11,006
What?

79
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,781
Lily, you're being a wee bit intense about this band thing.

80
00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:15,091
Intense?

81
00:04:15,091 --> 00:04:19,471
I have a wedding to plan in nine weeks for 200 people.

82
00:04:19,471 --> 00:04:24,383
Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table,

83
00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:26,698
I need you to roll with it, okay?

84
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,087
Wow.

85
00:04:28,612 --> 00:04:32,051
Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer.

86
00:04:32,051 --> 00:04:33,306
We already have a caterer.

87
00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:35,328
Oh, right. You're getting married.

88
00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:38,105
You see what I did there? Took a...

89
00:04:38,341 --> 00:04:44,252
It looks like The 88 are playing at a high school prom in New Jersey tomorrow.

90
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:46,682
A prom? Can... can we go to that?

91
00:04:46,682 --> 00:04:49,918
Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch.

92
00:04:50,843 --> 00:04:52,465
Yeah. No, they won't.

93
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,590
Why not?

94
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,423
'Cause it turns out we're not in high school.

95
00:04:55,423 --> 00:04:57,022
No sweat, we'll just sneak in.

96
00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:59,101
We're not sneaking in to a high school prom.

97
00:04:59,101 --> 00:05:01,123
Yes, we are. It's the only way.

98
00:05:01,123 --> 00:05:04,816
You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.

99
00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,661
It's nine weeks till the wedding.

100
00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:09,611
At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.

101
00:05:09,611 --> 00:05:11,395
- Well...
- No, Barney.

102
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:17,795
And so, Aunt Lily had the plan to crash the prom.

103
00:05:17,802 --> 00:05:19,518
- I'll go with you.
- Really?

104
00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:21,100
Yeah. I never got to go to my prom.

105
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,835
We always had field hockey nationals in the spring.

106
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,095
Lesbian.

107
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:28,992
The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian."

108
00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:31,478
No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate.

109
00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:35,530
Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?

110
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:38,393
Please, I'm ageless, Scherbotsky just needs a good night's sleep,

111
00:05:38,393 --> 00:05:41,147
and you've got "statutory" written all over your body.

112
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,343
Hey, why don't we all go?

113
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,621
I don't know-- more people might be harder to sneak in.

114
00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:47,907
We don't want to mess things up for Lily.

115
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,700
Yeah, you're right.

116
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,862
Besides, Marshall and I have been planning on having a guy's night out before the wedding.

117
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,292
Why don't we just make it tomorrow night?

118
00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:55,563
Sounds awesome.

119
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,641
We should go out and just get freakin' weird.

120
00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:58,292
Yeah.

121
00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:02,133
'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw.

122
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:03,868
What?

123
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,871
Wow. Hey, Thelma, Louise, y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, ya hear?

124
00:06:08,871 --> 00:06:10,418
Lame!

125
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:14,875
But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later.

126
00:06:17,872 --> 00:06:19,956
All right, what do you think?

127
00:06:20,523 --> 00:06:21,808
Horrible.

128
00:06:22,313 --> 00:06:24,576
You're gonna make such a great dad.

129
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,040
You look so classy and nice.

130
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,700
You're going to stick out like a sore thumb.

131
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,860
Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days,

132
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:33,358
with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris?

133
00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:34,818
They all dress like strippers.

134
00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:37,435
It's go ho or go home.

135
00:06:37,702 --> 00:06:39,392
Well, we have to get in.

136
00:06:39,392 --> 00:06:42,283
I have to see this band, 'cause we have to make a decision by Monday,

137
00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:45,192
'cause I'm getting married in 71 days, and we still don't have...

138
00:06:45,192 --> 00:06:48,673
Shh. Sweetie, just focus on one thing at a time, okay?

139
00:06:48,673 --> 00:06:51,620
Right now, you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.

140
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,830
All right.

141
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:56,728
That's the spirit. Now, ladies, slut up!

142
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,072
I never thought this would be a bad thing,

143
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:04,905
but my wardrobe just isn't slutty enough.

144
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,452
I didn't know I still had this.

145
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:09,843
What?

146
00:07:09,993 --> 00:07:12,977
The dress I wore to my actual prom.

147
00:07:17,773 --> 00:07:21,251
Dude, you are the hottest girl at this prom,

148
00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:25,858
and not like in a corporate, plastic way. Like, truly, truly hot.

149
00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,498
Like a hot soul.

150
00:07:28,232 --> 00:07:30,803
Aw, you look great, too, Scooter.

151
00:07:30,803 --> 00:07:32,231
So big news.

152
00:07:32,231 --> 00:07:35,200
I heard from umpire school. I'm in!

153
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,706
Oh, disco!

154
00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:40,601
I am so happy for you.

155
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:44,001
You mean happy for us, right, babe?

156
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:47,681
Scooter, you're gonna be an umpire someday.

157
00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:49,092
No, baby.

158
00:07:49,092 --> 00:07:52,268
We're gonna be an umpire someday.

159
00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:58,341
Nice. You ladies look good, but your outfits are missing just one thing.

160
00:07:58,341 --> 00:08:00,390
No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go.

161
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:01,553
I'm not showing anymore...

162
00:08:01,553 --> 00:08:05,080
Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers.

163
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,826
Aw. Sweet.

164
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,706
Thank you.

165
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,920
Oh, Robin, are you tearing up?

166
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,423
No.

167
00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:17,428
I've never been to prom before, okay?

168
00:08:17,582 --> 00:08:18,930
We got to go. See ya.

169
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:20,147
Bye, have fun.

170
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,605
See you.

171
00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:26,293
They grow up into skanks so fast, don't they, Ted?

172
00:08:26,293 --> 00:08:27,841
So, what, we ready for tonight?

173
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,912
Yeah. Just one thing we got to do first.

174
00:08:29,912 --> 00:08:30,861
Shot of Jim Beam?

175
00:08:30,861 --> 00:08:32,111
- Yeah.
- Yes!

176
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,763
And then I promised Lily that we'd stuff 200 wedding invitations.

177
00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:36,616
What?!

178
00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:39,297
I'm sorry, dude, but you saw how stressed out she is.

179
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,137
Come on! You've been doing wedding stuff nonstop. Take a break.

180
00:08:42,141 --> 00:08:46,142
Once you're married, if we go out and you get so drunk you throw up, it'll be sad,

181
00:08:46,142 --> 00:08:49,481
but if we do it tonight... it'll be less sad.

182
00:08:49,481 --> 00:08:52,313
Okay, it'll be cool-- I'll tell you what. We'll make a game out of it.

183
00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:55,905
First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.

184
00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:57,846
Do I look like I'm four?

185
00:08:58,011 --> 00:09:00,236
All right, what kind of prize are we talking?

186
00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:05,210
Wow, a lot more security than when we were kids.

187
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:06,491
Is this gonna work?

188
00:09:06,491 --> 00:09:10,572
Yeah. Look, when I was 17, I used to sneak into clubs all the time.

189
00:09:10,572 --> 00:09:12,703
It's all about confidence.

190
00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:14,077
Follow me.

191
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,983
Whee-hoo! Happy prom, everybody.

192
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,820
Going to prom-- whee-hoo!

193
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,818
- Uh, you're adults.
- Okay, bye.

194
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,623
Okay, look, I just need to see the band.

195
00:09:25,623 --> 00:09:27,790
I'm getting married in two months, and...

196
00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:29,830
And you're just finding a band?

197
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,646
Hey, ho, hey!

198
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:36,616
I'm sorry, ma'am. You either need to be a student or the date of a student.

199
00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,150
Wow. "Ma'am?" Check and mate.

200
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,681
It's cool. Time to activate plan B.

201
00:09:44,681 --> 00:09:47,635
Scherbotsky, how comfortable are you with a crossbow?

202
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,248
Scherbotsky?

203
00:09:49,730 --> 00:09:53,665
Hey, guys. Do you want to take two hot girls to prom?

204
00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:56,185
We don't have that kind of money.

205
00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:57,607
For free.

206
00:09:57,612 --> 00:09:59,172
Oh, hell yeah!

207
00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:01,623
Great. I'm Robin, this is my friend Lily.

208
00:10:01,623 --> 00:10:04,027
- Hi. Shall we?
- Sure.

209
00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:08,117
I knew it would happen. This is the dream.

210
00:10:08,812 --> 00:10:10,571
Oh, hey, wait. How's Barney getting in?

211
00:10:10,571 --> 00:10:12,885
Don't worry about me. I'll get in.

212
00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:16,465
Oh... I'll get in.

213
00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:30,133
We're in!

214
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,881
Thank you. We're going to take a break.

215
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,116
Oh, you're kidding me.

216
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:37,128
Hey, uh, you ladies want something to take the edge off?

217
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:41,077
Yeah, what the hell? It's prom.

218
00:10:45,193 --> 00:10:46,821
That tastes like cough syrup.

219
00:10:46,821 --> 00:10:48,873
Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol.

220
00:10:48,873 --> 00:10:51,031
Um, our fake IDs say we're only 20.

221
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:53,416
We didn't realize it till after we bought them.

222
00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:56,127
Nerds who aren't good at math?

223
00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,308
Life's going to be rough, boys.

224
00:11:01,173 --> 00:11:03,123
Hi. Excuse me.

225
00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:06,840
I was wondering if you guys could play "Good Feeling" by the Violent Femmes.

226
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,783
I know it's probably not in your repertoire, but I'm getting married

227
00:11:09,783 --> 00:11:12,411
and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band,

228
00:11:12,411 --> 00:11:15,851
but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play "Good Feeling" because that's our song,

229
00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:20,020
and what kind of wedding band would you be if you couldn't play our song, right? Right?

230
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:24,313
Look, I'm kinda wasted right now, so I didn't understand any of that.

231
00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:27,807
But, uh, if you get us the sheet music, we'll play your song.

232
00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:31,506
So, you buzzing, baby?

233
00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:34,116
My phlegm feels looser.

234
00:11:46,551 --> 00:11:48,128
This is pathetic.

235
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:52,205
It's guys' night. We should be out in a bar getting in fights.

236
00:11:52,882 --> 00:11:55,053
If I got in a fight, would you have my back?

237
00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,666
You know it.

238
00:11:57,781 --> 00:11:59,468
I'd have your back, too.

239
00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,846
That's cool.

240
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,607
What, you don't think you'd need my help?

241
00:12:06,071 --> 00:12:08,398
You don't know what I can do. I'm like...

242
00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:10,553
like a berserker.

243
00:12:10,553 --> 00:12:11,885
Okay, Ted.

244
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,162
Hello.

245
00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:16,680
Hey, it's Robin. Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music

246
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:20,302
for "Good Feeling" and bring it out here, like, now.

247
00:12:20,302 --> 00:12:21,341
Hang on.

248
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:24,435
It's Robin. She wants me to go to prom.

249
00:12:24,963 --> 00:12:26,648
- Can Ted come?
- Wait! Don't ask!

250
00:12:26,651 --> 00:12:28,081
That's so lame!

251
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,115
I don't even want to go anyway.

252
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:34,081
Uh, I don't know. Things have been so weird between us.

253
00:12:34,081 --> 00:12:35,757
What'd she say? What'd she say?

254
00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:40,797
He lied and told me he broke up with his girlfriend to try to hook up with me.

255
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:45,175
I mean, I know he apologized for it but it's just, it's not easy to forgive.

256
00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:48,711
Look, if you absolutely must bring Ted, it's,

257
00:12:48,711 --> 00:12:51,091
it's not like I'm going to claw my own eyes out if he comes.

258
00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:52,606
Okay, bye.

259
00:12:53,952 --> 00:12:55,998
She totally wants you to come.

260
00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:02,888
All right, sheet music's on the way.

261
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,785
Are you okay?

262
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:10,333
There's just so much to do for this wedding. My head is swirling.

263
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,453
It's just all moving too fast.

264
00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:17,183
How is it moving too fast? We've been together for two years.

265
00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:22,290
I just... I just don't want everything in my life to be decided already.

266
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:23,611
What's decided?

267
00:13:23,611 --> 00:13:25,903
I go to umpire school, you go to college.

268
00:13:25,903 --> 00:13:28,023
We move into my dad's house in Staten Island.

269
00:13:28,023 --> 00:13:31,161
We have kids, we grow old together. What's decided?

270
00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,848
It's wide open!

271
00:13:33,711 --> 00:13:39,738
Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us.

272
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:43,427
You're, you're breaking up with me?

273
00:13:43,432 --> 00:13:45,930
There's still so much I want to do.

274
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:50,032
I want to travel, live overseas as an artist,

275
00:13:50,032 --> 00:13:52,848
maybe have a lesbian relationship.

276
00:13:53,391 --> 00:13:58,260
Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain.

277
00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:00,165
I can't believe this.

278
00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:03,340
I can change. I can look more like Kurt Cobain.

279
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,415
Please, just don't leave me.

280
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:07,412
I'm nothing without you, baby.

281
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:11,603
Please don't put that kind of pressure on me! It's too much!

282
00:14:11,603 --> 00:14:14,313
It's just one dance, God!

283
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:15,567
What?

284
00:14:15,573 --> 00:14:17,655
Well, we did promise them one dance.

285
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,308
Yeah, sure, okay.

286
00:14:28,013 --> 00:14:31,220
So Andrew, what's your big plan?

287
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,671
What's life going to be like after tonight?

288
00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:35,811
Well, you know I got it all worked out.

289
00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,263
Uh, leave this place in my dust, four awesome years at college,

290
00:14:39,263 --> 00:14:43,566
and then I'll move to Prague or start my own video game company or something.

291
00:14:43,572 --> 00:14:45,563
- No, you won't.
- I won't?

292
00:14:45,563 --> 00:14:49,023
No, you won't accomplish anything you set out to.

293
00:14:49,023 --> 00:14:53,061
You'll get a girlfriend the first day of college and you'll give up your independence

294
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,631
and you'll never live abroad and you'll wind up old

295
00:14:55,631 --> 00:14:59,271
before your time wondering "Whatever happened to my hopes and my dreams?"

296
00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,433
Whoa.

297
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,827
You really think I'll get a girlfriend?

298
00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:08,478
So, uh, what's the deal here? Am I getting lucky tonight?

299
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,846
Oh, Sean, look, um,

300
00:15:11,853 --> 00:15:15,276
you're a nice guy, but I just don't...

301
00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:19,918
No, you're not getting lucky tonight.

302
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,508
Okay, just be cool. Don't look at me.

303
00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:37,746
Okay.

304
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,341
How'd you get in here?

305
00:15:39,341 --> 00:15:42,086
What's it to you, giant turtle?

306
00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:44,496
It's me, Barney.

307
00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:47,081
Oh, hey. Where's Lily?

308
00:15:47,081 --> 00:15:48,473
She's in the bathroom.

309
00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:50,613
- Wait here, I should go talk to the band.
- All right.

310
00:15:50,613 --> 00:15:51,821
How did you guys get in here?

311
00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:52,922
We just snuck in the back.

312
00:15:52,922 --> 00:15:55,292
You just snu... Are you serious?

313
00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:57,310
I've been trying to get in here all night.

314
00:15:57,310 --> 00:16:02,382
I finally paid a janitor 200 bucks to let me borrow this mascot costume.

315
00:16:02,382 --> 00:16:03,938
But you got in.

316
00:16:04,243 --> 00:16:06,896
Slow and steady won the race.

317
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:11,990
Hey, bro, have you seen my fiancée Lily?

318
00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:13,401
Your fiancée?

319
00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:16,190
Whoa, tonight she's with me, bro.

320
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:18,178
Unless you're looking for trouble.

321
00:16:18,192 --> 00:16:21,482
Listen, little buddy, I understand it's prom and the adrenaline's pumping, but...

322
00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,550
No, not tonight. I've waited too long for this.

323
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,951
I finally got a girl and I'm not going to let you take her away from me.

324
00:16:26,951 --> 00:16:28,663
Whoa, whoa.

325
00:16:28,663 --> 00:16:30,332
Look, let's not get carried away.

326
00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:32,375
Yah! Nunchaku!

327
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,263
I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high school senior.

328
00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:42,456
I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me.

329
00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:47,030
I'm going to ask you something and, um,

330
00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:50,290
maybe it's crazy 'cause you guys are the cutest couple ever.

331
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:54,045
But, um, are you having second thoughts?

332
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:57,785
Yeah.

333
00:16:58,093 --> 00:17:00,091
But not about Marshall.

334
00:17:00,091 --> 00:17:01,582
About me.

335
00:17:01,582 --> 00:17:05,925
I just keep thinking about the girl I was ten years ago

336
00:17:05,932 --> 00:17:08,847
and wondering what happened to her.

337
00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:10,776
I don't want to be tied down.

338
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,932
I want to live in France and Spain and Italy

339
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:17,741
and just soak up life and put it on a canvas,

340
00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:22,591
even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, I don't care.

341
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,112
I'm going to be a painter.

342
00:17:24,112 --> 00:17:29,668
And I can't do any of that with a, with a boyfriend shackled around my neck, you know?

343
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,132
But anyway, I'm blabbering.

344
00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:35,447
Way to make new friends, Lily.

345
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,777
I'm sorry. What was your name again?

346
00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:40,327
Marshall.

347
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,103
Nice to meet you, Marshall.

348
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,036
Guess we're hallmates.

349
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,488
Yeah.

350
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:50,815
It works.

351
00:17:51,073 --> 00:17:53,767
Violent Femmes. I love this song.

352
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,618
Me, too.

353
00:17:58,573 --> 00:18:02,795
I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to.

354
00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:06,460
The travel, the bohemian art life,

355
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,090
my big lesbian experience.

356
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,268
I didn't do any of it.

357
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:15,790
Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world.

358
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:19,798
I mean, isn't that worth all the other experiences combined?

359
00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:22,267
Yeah.

360
00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:25,890
And look, you can still travel, I mean, you can still paint.

361
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:29,016
And as far as your lesbian experience...

362
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,966
Happy?

363
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,317
Yeah.

364
00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:37,825
- So field hockey, huh? 
- Shut up.

365
00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:42,723
Trespassing, assaulting a minor.

366
00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:46,298
This mascot costume you stole cost $5,000.

367
00:18:46,303 --> 00:18:48,462
We can have you guys arrested, you know that?

368
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,962
Oh, come on-- you're the one who let in a kid with nunchakus.

369
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:53,692
You call yourself security guards? I was just defending my boy here.

370
00:18:53,692 --> 00:18:54,873
I totally could have taken that kid.

371
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:56,780
Uh, yeah, and I totally had your back, so...

372
00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:58,013
Well, I don't need it, but thanks.

373
00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,452
Uh, yeah, you did, and you're welcome.

374
00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:02,595
No, the kid was totally, like, a white belt and I'm gigantic.

375
00:19:02,843 --> 00:19:06,550
Listen, guys, I'm sorry. Please, I just need to get in there for one more song.

376
00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,177
Absolutely not.

377
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,247
You guys will thank me for this later, okay?

378
00:19:12,921 --> 00:19:17,296
- Listen, Don, Ray, can't we all...?
- Hey!

379
00:19:19,372 --> 00:19:22,045
You know, for a turtle, he's surprisingly quick.

380
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:28,967
This one goes out to that redhead girl and that tall guy.

381
00:19:53,081 --> 00:19:55,535
So how was your first prom?

382
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:56,807
You tell me.

383
00:19:56,813 --> 00:20:00,590
I hated my dress, my date got wasted and puked on me,

384
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:03,988
there was a huge fight and I kissed a girl.

385
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:06,737
So, basically, it was a prom.

386
00:20:08,212 --> 00:20:10,157
Okay, I've missed you.

387
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:13,077
Not in a we're-going-to-make-out way,

388
00:20:13,173 --> 00:20:16,185
not even in an I-forgive-you way.

389
00:20:16,553 --> 00:20:19,037
Just in a I've-missed-you way.

390
00:20:19,941 --> 00:20:21,808
I'll take what I can get.

391
00:20:24,342 --> 00:20:27,520
And that, my friends, is why you don't get your money's worth

392
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,326
when you wear jeans to a strip club.

393
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,790
So you got to admit, The 88 are rocking our song.

394
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,875
Yeah, it's good.

395
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,745
Band? Check.

396
00:20:42,462 --> 00:20:44,267
Two months, baby.

397
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,215
Two months.

398
00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:49,047
Two months.