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General InformationEdit

Title "Come On"
Format SubRip
Extension .srt
Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_On_(How_I_Met_Your_Mother)

SubtitlesEdit

1
00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:16,596
It was May of 2006 in New York City

2
00:00:16,597 --> 00:00:18,119
and life was good.

3
00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:20,334
But everything was about to change.

4
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:24,349
So... what do you think?

5
00:00:25,261 --> 00:00:27,457
Robin again?

6
00:00:27,458 --> 00:00:33,085
Ted, the universe clearly does not want you and Robin to be together.

7
00:00:33,086 --> 00:00:36,250
Don't piss off the universe. The universe will slap you.

8
00:00:36,251 --> 00:00:39,611
But don't you think the universe has more important things to worry about than my dating life?

9
00:00:39,612 --> 00:00:45,295
Unless your dating life is the glue holding the entire universe together... Whoa. Chills.

10
00:00:45,315 --> 00:00:47,551
Anybody else get chills?

11
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,460
Look, I realize we've been down this road before,

12
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:54,063
but the fact is, whatever I do,

13
00:00:54,063 --> 00:00:56,927
it all keeps coming back to Robin, so...

14
00:00:57,166 --> 00:00:58,703
I gotta do this.

15
00:01:00,015 --> 00:01:01,840
Ow! What the hell?

16
00:01:01,848 --> 00:01:04,321
That wasn't me. That was the universe.

17
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The funny thing was, at that very moment, the universe was working on something--

18
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a storm.

19
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And so tropical storm Willy is going to be with us at least until Monday.

20
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It's gonna rain cats and dogs, folks.

21
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So don't step in a poodle.

22
00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:21,583
Sandy? Robin?

23
00:01:21,585 --> 00:01:22,750
Thanks, Lou.

24
00:01:22,756 --> 00:01:26,851
Boy, too bad. Our big Metro News One camping trip was going to be this weekend.

25
00:01:26,856 --> 00:01:30,000
Yeah, but camping out in the rain? No fun. Muddy. Yuck.

26
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,651
Guess we'll have to take a rain check.

27
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:33,872
And we'll check in with you tomorrow, New York.

28
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,380
Have a great night.

29
00:01:35,725 --> 00:01:37,300
And, we're clear.

30
00:01:37,307 --> 00:01:41,480
Bummer. I was hoping to finally have sex with you this weekend, Scherbotsky.

31
00:01:41,486 --> 00:01:44,533
Well, I'd give you the "I don't date coworkers" speech again,

32
00:01:44,535 --> 00:01:47,523
but, God, you must have that sum'bitch memorized by now.

33
00:01:47,527 --> 00:01:50,683
Shame, though. It was a pretty hot show tonight.

34
00:01:50,686 --> 00:01:53,770
The rhythmic give and take of our improvised banter there at the end

35
00:01:53,775 --> 00:01:56,051
really got my freak juice flowing.

36
00:01:57,206 --> 00:02:00,161
Dude, he's right. How many times do you have to watch this crash

37
00:02:00,166 --> 00:02:02,091
and burn before you say, "enough"?

38
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One more. One more time.

39
00:02:04,117 --> 00:02:06,582
One more big, beautiful, stupid romantic gesture.

40
00:02:06,598 --> 00:02:09,382
And then, whatever she says, yes or no, that's it.

41
00:02:09,386 --> 00:02:10,793
If it's yes, great.

42
00:02:10,796 --> 00:02:14,131
If it's no, then I am done going after Robin forever.

43
00:02:14,137 --> 00:02:17,630
So what's this big, beautiful romantic gesture?

44
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I am going to make her...

45
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,621
a mix CD.

46
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:25,340
No, I'm kidding. I got a plan.

47
00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:27,262
Lily, I'm going to need the spare key to Robin's apartment.

48
00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:28,892
I see where this is going.

49
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:33,710
Ted, waiting naked in a girl's bed wearing whipped cream undies does not work...

50
00:02:33,885 --> 00:02:35,082
usually.

51
00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:37,220
The setting-- Martha's Vineyard, 1999.

52
00:02:37,227 --> 00:02:40,953
The characters: Yours truly and a raven-haired au pair by the name...

53
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,771
Universe.

54
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,990
So, this plan you speak of?

55
00:02:45,996 --> 00:02:48,792
Remember the first night Robin and I went out?

56
00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:52,470
I stole a blue French horn for her and it almost worked.

57
00:02:52,478 --> 00:02:54,971
Yeah. Dude, that was awesome,

58
00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:57,261
but how are you ever going to top that?

59
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,753
She should be here any second.

60
00:03:05,155 --> 00:03:08,411
Uh, we're pretty hungry. When do we get our pizza?

61
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:11,703
Enough with the-- we'll go get pizza later, all right?

62
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Just...

63
00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:26,852
Damn it.

64
00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:33,850
Hello.

65
00:03:33,857 --> 00:03:38,242
Hey, Lily, I'm locked out of my apartment. I need to come pick up my extra key.

66
00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:40,121
Extra key?

67
00:03:41,306 --> 00:03:43,351
Do I have an extra key to your apartment?

68
00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:44,733
Yes, I gave it to you.

69
00:03:44,735 --> 00:03:46,641
Oh, right. That key.

70
00:03:46,646 --> 00:03:48,252
Yeah, I lost it.

71
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,520
Great, now I gotta go to the locksmith.

72
00:03:50,526 --> 00:03:52,621
No, wait, uh...

73
00:03:52,745 --> 00:03:54,682
Maybe you should just knock.

74
00:03:54,686 --> 00:03:56,081
Knock?

75
00:03:56,097 --> 00:03:58,641
Lily, my dogs aren't that well trained.

76
00:04:03,806 --> 00:04:08,683
Hello, Lily, this is Janet Kagan at the Russell House Art Foundation here in San Francisco.

77
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I'm pleased to inform you that we've accepted your application for our summer fellowship.

78
00:04:12,537 --> 00:04:14,691
We look forward to hearing from you. Bye-bye.

79
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Uh, Robin, I-I gotta go. Just knock, okay?

80
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Summer fellowship?

81
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,581
Just knock.

82
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:24,983
Okay.

83
00:04:31,246 --> 00:04:32,101
Hi.

84
00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:34,310
Hi.

85
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,563
Robin...

86
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I've sort of said this already.

87
00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:51,962
I mean I've half said it. I've tried to say it, and I've said it badly.

88
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So this is me, just saying it.

89
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With strings.

90
00:04:58,018 --> 00:05:01,552
I'm crazy about you. I think we should be together.

91
00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:03,532
What do you say?

92
00:05:12,807 --> 00:05:14,651
- What do you say?
- Yes.

93
00:05:14,655 --> 00:05:15,881
No.

94
00:05:16,095 --> 00:05:17,461
I don't know.

95
00:05:17,515 --> 00:05:19,143
Those are the three options.

96
00:05:19,145 --> 00:05:21,212
- Ted, this is so...
- I know.

97
00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:26,912
I mean, I come home, I was going to watch Jeopardy and there's a string quartet and...

98
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,832
I have to pee.

99
00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,050
Oh, I'm sorry.

100
00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:34,290
Uh, well, go ahead. We'll, uh, we'll wait.

101
00:05:46,406 --> 00:05:49,933
Yeah, 'cause when we talked earlier, you said there'd be pizza.

102
00:05:49,936 --> 00:05:53,740
No, I said I'd get you a pizza afterwards.

103
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:57,781
Look, could we talk about this later? I'm sort of professing my love here.

104
00:05:57,795 --> 00:05:59,112
Sure.

105
00:06:00,606 --> 00:06:02,281
We're not getting any pizza.

106
00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:07,881
Okay. Let's talk.

107
00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,222
Okay.

108
00:06:12,096 --> 00:06:14,611
Oh, hey, you guys want to take five?

109
00:06:15,957 --> 00:06:17,791
Thanks, guys. Just need a minute.

110
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:21,140
Sort of a big life decision. Love the blue instruments, though.

111
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Kind of an inside joke.

112
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Thanks.

113
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- You're crazy.
- Right. Come on.

114
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It's not that I haven't thought about this.

115
00:06:31,645 --> 00:06:33,991
You know that I have, but let's look at this, okay?

116
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We only just started being friends again.

117
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I know. But-- come on.

118
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,691
And we want different things.

119
00:06:40,696 --> 00:06:43,071
That's still there. That's not going away.

120
00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:45,322
I mean, what if we do this and it doesn't work out

121
00:06:45,328 --> 00:06:47,560
and I'd lose you as a friend?

122
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:49,291
I gotta think about this.

123
00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:51,701
Okay, fine. Think about it on the plane.

124
00:06:51,707 --> 00:06:53,783
Let's go to Paris for the weekend. I'm serious.

125
00:06:53,796 --> 00:06:55,282
I'm kidding. I'm serious.

126
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:57,732
I can't go to Paris, I'm going camping.

127
00:06:57,738 --> 00:06:59,060
I thought that thing was canceled.

128
00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:00,110
Well, it's back on.

129
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Since when?

130
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:02,842
Since like an hour ago.

131
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..sending the storm back out into the Atlantic.

132
00:07:06,456 --> 00:07:09,670
So it's blue skies this weekend.

133
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Sandy? Robin?

134
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:16,500
Thanks, Lou, but that blue sky isn't without at least one cloud.

135
00:07:16,515 --> 00:07:21,261
I'm sorry to announce that one week from today I will be leaving Metro News One.

136
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It has been an honor to bring you the news each night,

137
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and read the paper to you each morning.

138
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I will always treasure it.

139
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Good night, New York.

140
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And we're clear.

141
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You're leaving?

142
00:07:33,276 --> 00:07:35,622
There. I quit my job.

143
00:07:35,628 --> 00:07:39,192
We're not coworkers. Will you please have dinner with me?

144
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,360
I'm joking. I got offered a job at CNN.

145
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,973
Oh, congratulations.

146
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Congratulations yourself.

147
00:07:45,956 --> 00:07:46,952
What do you mean?

148
00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:51,410
Well, Joel asked me who I thought should replace me as lead anchor.

149
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I told him you.

150
00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:56,661
They're announcing it next week. Act surprised.

151
00:07:56,666 --> 00:07:58,240
Wow.

152
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,170
Thanks.

153
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:02,611
And, yes.

154
00:08:02,618 --> 00:08:03,812
Yes, what?

155
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,781
Yes, let's go get dinner.

156
00:08:06,765 --> 00:08:09,373
How about this weekend on the camping trip?

157
00:08:09,435 --> 00:08:11,500
I roast a mean weenie.

158
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:15,222
Oh, you're kidding me.

159
00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:17,142
No way. Don't go on this thing.

160
00:08:17,145 --> 00:08:19,830
Ted, I have to go. It's a company camping trip.

161
00:08:19,838 --> 00:08:22,491
Really? Because it also kinda sounds like a date.

162
00:08:22,498 --> 00:08:25,192
With Sandy... and his weenie.

163
00:08:25,195 --> 00:08:27,500
I mean is this not a date?

164
00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:29,291
I don't-I don't know.

165
00:08:29,298 --> 00:08:31,980
So, what? You actually like this guy now?

166
00:08:31,986 --> 00:08:33,572
I don't know.

167
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:34,752
Are you gonna hook up with him?

168
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:35,722
I don't know.

169
00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:37,843
- Yes, you do.
- No, Ted, I don't.

170
00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:39,853
And you know what? That's okay.

171
00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:42,813
I don't plan out every second of my life like you do.

172
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- I don't plan out every...
- Oh, really? What is all of this?

173
00:08:46,377 --> 00:08:50,162
I mean, why can't you just say, "Hey, Robin, let's go get some sushi?"

174
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:55,143
No, it has to be a-a string quartet and-and Paris and flowers and chocolates

175
00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:57,871
and let's spend the rest of our lives together.

176
00:08:57,877 --> 00:09:00,732
Don't you think we're a little bit past sushi at this point?

177
00:09:00,735 --> 00:09:03,930
God, you are so terrified of anything real.

178
00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,873
It's like you're floating out in space.

179
00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:07,852
Touch the ground, Robin.

180
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:10,821
Live in the world, make a mistake. Make this mistake.

181
00:09:10,826 --> 00:09:12,803
I need to think about this.

182
00:09:12,808 --> 00:09:14,130
Fine.

183
00:09:14,305 --> 00:09:16,323
No, I'm sorry, I...

184
00:09:16,698 --> 00:09:18,171
I can't do this anymore.

185
00:09:18,177 --> 00:09:19,840
I need an answer.

186
00:09:21,147 --> 00:09:25,413
If you want me to say yes right now, I-I can't do that.

187
00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:29,383
Well, if it's not yes, then it's a no.

188
00:09:31,158 --> 00:09:33,492
Then I guess it's not meant to be.

189
00:09:37,295 --> 00:09:38,693
Nice try, buddy.

190
00:09:38,698 --> 00:09:40,841
Good hustle out there.

191
00:09:41,368 --> 00:09:44,013
Look at the bright side. At least you got some closure.

192
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,092
She's made her choice and you can finally move on.

193
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,881
Screw that. This ain't over.

194
00:09:50,186 --> 00:09:53,452
Ted, you sat here in this very booth and you said...

195
00:09:53,457 --> 00:09:55,513
I don't care what I said.

196
00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:58,422
This is gonna happen. She can't say it's not meant to be.

197
00:09:58,425 --> 00:10:00,420
It is meant to be, and you know why?

198
00:10:00,427 --> 00:10:02,650
'Cause I mean it to be.

199
00:10:06,325 --> 00:10:07,910
- Unpause?
- Unpause.

200
00:10:07,915 --> 00:10:09,531
Let's pause.

201
00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:13,081
See, Marshall and Lily had a rule that at any point during a fight

202
00:10:13,088 --> 00:10:14,842
they could pause and take a break.

203
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,072
Their fights often lasted for days.

204
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,291
- A painting fellowship?
- I was never going to take it.

205
00:10:19,305 --> 00:10:22,143
- In California?
- I was never going to take it.

206
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:25,102
Ted, she is going on that camping trip.

207
00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:30,380
Dude, barring some act of God, Robin's gonna be with Sandy this weekend.

208
00:10:31,258 --> 00:10:32,572
Fine.

209
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:35,443
If an act of God is what it takes,

210
00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:37,683
then an act of God it is.

211
00:10:38,247 --> 00:10:40,553
What are you talking about?

212
00:10:42,038 --> 00:10:44,142
I'm gonna make it rain.

213
00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:51,031
I can't let Robin go camping with this guy.

214
00:10:51,035 --> 00:10:52,531
So how do I keep that from happening?

215
00:10:52,535 --> 00:10:54,973
Simple-- I make it rain!

216
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:56,973
Ted, do you want me to slap you again?

217
00:10:56,976 --> 00:10:59,103
'Cause I kind of enjoyed it the first time.

218
00:10:59,107 --> 00:11:00,991
Look, I-I might be crazy right now... No, you know what?

219
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:03,741
I am definitely crazy right now, but I have a plan.

220
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,513
That girl you used to go out with, Penelope,

221
00:11:05,527 --> 00:11:08,061
wasn't she getting her PhD in Native American culture?

222
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:08,822
Yeah.

223
00:11:08,826 --> 00:11:09,931
Are you still in touch with her?

224
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,152
Sure. I mean, even though we stopped having sex,

225
00:11:12,157 --> 00:11:14,571
we still get together, like, once a month to chat and catch up,

226
00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:16,373
and of course I'm not in touch with her!

227
00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:18,572
Well, you're gonna need to get in touch with her.

228
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:21,392
She's gonna teach me how to do a rain dance.

229
00:11:22,297 --> 00:11:25,571
- Did you just say a "rain dance"?
- Yes.

230
00:11:25,856 --> 00:11:28,201
- A rain dance.
- Yes.

231
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:31,982
- A dance to make it rain.
- Yes.

232
00:11:39,127 --> 00:11:41,073
- We're finding Penelope!
- No, we are not!

233
00:11:41,078 --> 00:11:42,032
Yes, we are!

234
00:11:42,037 --> 00:11:46,581
Ted, you're forcing me to be the voice of reason, and it's not a good look for me!

235
00:11:47,345 --> 00:11:49,423
Why the hell should I help you?

236
00:11:49,427 --> 00:11:54,741
Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did... have a relationship.

237
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:58,023
We had sex twice in your car, and then you dumped me.

238
00:11:58,038 --> 00:12:00,453
How is that a relationship?

239
00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:01,951
Twice!

240
00:12:02,308 --> 00:12:05,170
- Barney, there is no way...
- Shh!

241
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:07,160
Seriously, come on.

242
00:12:08,217 --> 00:12:11,393
Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.

243
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:12,770
Why?

244
00:12:12,936 --> 00:12:14,560
There's this girl...

245
00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,323
"There's this girl."

246
00:12:16,328 --> 00:12:20,393
You know, the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature.

247
00:12:20,395 --> 00:12:25,473
I don't think the Great Spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.

248
00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:27,102
Penelope, this is the girl I love.

249
00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:30,273
If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy.

250
00:12:30,276 --> 00:12:31,802
Please.

251
00:12:33,516 --> 00:12:36,740
This wrong guy, is he a huge jackass?

252
00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:37,722
Absolutely.

253
00:12:37,726 --> 00:12:39,181
- Kind of like Barney?
- Kind of.

254
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:40,951
- Hey.
- You hit on my mom!

255
00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:42,803
We weren't exclusive!

256
00:12:44,775 --> 00:12:45,963
I'm in.

257
00:12:45,967 --> 00:12:48,803
And so the three of us headed up to the roof of my building.

258
00:12:48,806 --> 00:12:49,973
Okay.

259
00:12:50,308 --> 00:12:52,571
Crouch down and bend over a little bit.

260
00:12:52,577 --> 00:12:55,610
Wow, it took five shots of tequila to get you in that position.

261
00:12:55,786 --> 00:12:58,482
I will throw you off this roof.

262
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,610
There's so much of your mom in you.

263
00:13:03,807 --> 00:13:06,041
And she's been throwing up ever since.

264
00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:08,683
So how'd she manage to eat so much chocolate?

265
00:13:08,885 --> 00:13:12,250
Remember that guy, Ted, that I was telling you about?

266
00:13:12,267 --> 00:13:15,183
Well, I came home and I found him waiting in my apartment

267
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,670
with a string quartet and roses and chocolates...

268
00:13:17,688 --> 00:13:20,540
Oh, that's so sweet.

269
00:13:20,556 --> 00:13:24,600
Okay, yes, it's sweet in theory, but isn't it also kind of crazy?

270
00:13:24,616 --> 00:13:28,811
I mean, a string quartet in my living room-- who does that?

271
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:30,113
Nobody does that.

272
00:13:30,117 --> 00:13:31,262
Exactly.

273
00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:34,410
No, honey-- nobody does that.

274
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:38,521
But I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.

275
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,121
I'm gonna put my hand up your dog now.

276
00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:46,053
So you're saying you would forbid me from going?

277
00:13:46,055 --> 00:13:47,833
Forbid? Who said forbid?

278
00:13:47,837 --> 00:13:50,983
I was just reminding you that there's this wedding coming up in a couple of months,

279
00:13:50,986 --> 00:13:52,872
and I was kind of hoping you'd save the day.

280
00:13:52,876 --> 00:13:55,530
Look for me-- I'll be the guy in the awesome suit.

281
00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:58,241
Come on, Lily. It's what you've always wanted.

282
00:13:58,245 --> 00:14:03,092
Yeah, but there's a lot of things I've always wanted, and I haven't done any of them.

283
00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:08,600
I'm sorry. I just need to do this before settling down forever.

284
00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:12,401
So now we've gone from "I was never gonna do it" to "I need to do this"?

285
00:14:12,407 --> 00:14:14,450
Did I leave the room at some point? When did that happen?

286
00:14:14,456 --> 00:14:16,350
Oh, maybe when you said you wouldn't let me do it.

287
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,332
I never said that!

288
00:14:18,336 --> 00:14:19,962
You know, if you're having these kind of doubts now,

289
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:21,431
what's gonna change in three months?

290
00:14:21,437 --> 00:14:22,741
Maybe we just shouldn't get married at all.

291
00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:24,152
Maybe not.

292
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:28,130
- Pause.
- Pause.

293
00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:31,523
- So, are you just, like, starving?
- Totally.

294
00:14:31,525 --> 00:14:32,860
Red Lobster?

295
00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:37,122
Oh, lobster, lobster, lobster, you are delicious!

296
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,661
Oh, God, I love butter sauce! There's nothing bad about it.

297
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:43,141
Say something bad about butter sauce, I dare you.

298
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:44,922
I wouldn't dare.

299
00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:48,380
Marshall, no. We're on pause.

300
00:14:48,386 --> 00:14:50,830
There's no crying in Pauseland!

301
00:14:50,837 --> 00:14:53,041
Pauseland is a magical place, with--

302
00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:56,741
with popcorn shrimp mountains and butter sauce rivers!

303
00:14:57,665 --> 00:14:59,093
Damn it!

304
00:14:59,175 --> 00:15:01,641
Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday,

305
00:15:01,698 --> 00:15:04,170
happy, happy, happy, happy, appy, happy birthday,

306
00:15:04,176 --> 00:15:05,402
happy, happy...

307
00:15:14,018 --> 00:15:15,652
Ted, this is funny.

308
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:17,720
Still funny.

309
00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:21,720
Still fu... And now it's sad.

310
00:15:22,336 --> 00:15:25,340
Hey, Penelope, you sure I'm doing this right?

311
00:15:25,348 --> 00:15:26,633
I think so.

312
00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:30,461
Does it, uh, look anything like a real rain dance?

313
00:15:30,466 --> 00:15:32,100
I think so.

314
00:15:32,406 --> 00:15:37,762
Hey, Penelope, have you, uh, have you ever actually seen a rain dance performed?

315
00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:39,362
No.

316
00:15:41,277 --> 00:15:42,171
No?

317
00:15:42,177 --> 00:15:43,770
I've read extensively on the subject:

318
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,542
firsthand accounts, theoretical criticism, the anthropological...

319
00:15:46,547 --> 00:15:49,851
Have you ever seen a rain dance?

320
00:15:50,045 --> 00:15:52,371
I've seen a film strip.

321
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,083
Terrific. Uh, look, I should run.

322
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:57,730
I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple episodes of E.R.

323
00:15:57,737 --> 00:15:59,341
I can't believe this.

324
00:15:59,347 --> 00:16:02,461
We've been up here for the past hour making complete asses of ourselves.

325
00:16:02,468 --> 00:16:04,782
What do you mean "we," white man?

326
00:16:08,205 --> 00:16:10,301
How did we get here?

327
00:16:10,935 --> 00:16:13,323
Couple of days ago, the biggest problem in my life was,

328
00:16:13,336 --> 00:16:16,672
did Ted eat the last pudding snack pack in the fridge.

329
00:16:16,678 --> 00:16:18,593
I think there's still one left.

330
00:16:18,736 --> 00:16:20,222
Dibs.

331
00:16:23,707 --> 00:16:26,361
- Unpause?
- Unpause.

332
00:16:27,185 --> 00:16:30,511
Look... I know this sucks.

333
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:33,221
It's just something I'm going through.

334
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:35,763
I'm not asking you to understand it.

335
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:38,211
I'm not asking you to be happy about it.

336
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:41,271
I'm just asking you to support it.

337
00:16:43,495 --> 00:16:45,941
I want to, Lily, okay?

338
00:16:45,976 --> 00:16:47,782
I really do.

339
00:16:47,846 --> 00:16:49,841
But I just can't.

340
00:16:49,846 --> 00:16:50,530
Why not?

341
00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:53,463
Because you're scaring the hell out of me, that's why not.

342
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:55,582
What if you decide to go be a painter

343
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:57,682
and then you realize I don't fit in to your life anymore,

344
00:16:57,688 --> 00:16:59,891
and three months becomes forever?

345
00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:02,571
Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?

346
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:03,921
Marshall...

347
00:17:03,925 --> 00:17:06,081
'Cause if you can't promise me that, we shoul just break up right now.

348
00:17:06,086 --> 00:17:09,342
I'm not gonna wait around for three months just to have my heart ripped out.

349
00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:13,880
Marshall, I love you.

350
00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:17,642
Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?

351
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,901
- Pause.
- No, Lily, we cannot pause this anymore.

352
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,731
Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?!

353
00:17:21,738 --> 00:17:23,760
- Pause!
- Why do you want me to pause?!

354
00:17:27,068 --> 00:17:29,433
That's just a great use of the pause function, baby.

355
00:17:29,436 --> 00:17:30,630
Thank you.

356
00:17:36,826 --> 00:17:38,491
Hey, Ted.

357
00:17:38,495 --> 00:17:40,310
Whatcha doing?

358
00:17:40,317 --> 00:17:41,973
A rain dance.

359
00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:46,751
Dude, that's not a rain dance, that's a fat kid with a bee in his pants.

360
00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:50,090
Look, I highly doubt the Great Spirit is a stickler for choreography.

361
00:17:50,096 --> 00:17:51,953
It's the thought that counts.

362
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:54,741
She's leaving in half an hour.

363
00:17:56,755 --> 00:18:00,413
These are your awesome years. You're wasting them on this girl.

364
00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:01,790
This isn't gonna work!

365
00:18:01,795 --> 00:18:03,510
Yeah. I know that.

366
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,613
- Well, then why are you doing this?
- Because I love her.

367
00:18:06,615 --> 00:18:07,980
I love her!

368
00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:09,542
I told her that the first night we went out,

369
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,592
and here it is, eight months later, and nothing's changed.

370
00:18:12,597 --> 00:18:15,661
So yes, I know this isn't gonna work.

371
00:18:15,665 --> 00:18:17,700
But it has to work!

372
00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:20,060
You hear me, universe?

373
00:18:20,068 --> 00:18:22,812
This is Ted Mosby talking!

374
00:18:22,816 --> 00:18:24,910
Give me some rain!

375
00:18:25,785 --> 00:18:27,361
Come on!

376
00:18:28,295 --> 00:18:30,151
Come on!

377
00:18:30,657 --> 00:18:32,943
Come on...!

378
00:18:36,237 --> 00:18:38,603
Oh, come on!

379
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,233
Pushing the front back into the Tri-State area

380
00:18:54,236 --> 00:18:58,380
and giving Manhattan one of its worst storms in over a decade.

381
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,973
How about that? He did it.

382
00:19:21,945 --> 00:19:24,812
Robin! Hey, Robin!

383
00:19:31,055 --> 00:19:32,963
Oh, thank God you're here!

384
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:35,151
My camping trip got rained out.

385
00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:36,960
I know. I'm sorry.

386
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:39,800
- It's not your fault.
- Yeah, it is.

387
00:19:39,806 --> 00:19:41,081
Come down here.

388
00:19:41,087 --> 00:19:43,232
It's pouring. You come up.

389
00:19:43,238 --> 00:19:45,412
No, you have to come down here.

390
00:19:45,997 --> 00:19:47,931
- Why?
- Why?

391
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:51,163
Because I made it rain, that's what I did today!

392
00:19:51,176 --> 00:19:55,582
And that's enough. I-I've done my part. Now, get down here!

393
00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:58,641
I'm not dressed, Ted. No. Come up.

394
00:19:58,646 --> 00:20:01,100
I'm not coming up there, Robin, I'm not.

395
00:20:01,107 --> 00:20:03,661
You have to come down here!

396
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,441
- I was gonna...
- I know.

397
00:20:43,147 --> 00:20:45,900
And that's how Robin and I ended up together.

398
00:20:45,908 --> 00:20:48,960
Turns out, all I had to do was make it rain.

399
00:20:49,096 --> 00:20:52,192
As I rode home the next morning, the city looked the same,

400
00:20:52,195 --> 00:20:55,220
the people looked the same. It all looked the same.

401
00:20:55,226 --> 00:20:56,742
But it wasn't.

402
00:20:56,746 --> 00:21:00,320
In just one night, everything had changed.