General Information[]
| Title | "Slutty Pumpkin" |
| Format | SubRip |
| Extension | .srt |
| Wikipedia article | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slutty_Pumpkin |
Subtitles[]
1 00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:16,719 Now, as you know, Aunt Robin is a big fan of Halloween-- 2 00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,718 always dressing up in crazy costumes-- 3 00:00:19,113 --> 00:00:21,023 but she wasn't always that way. 4 00:00:21,135 --> 00:00:24,550 Back in 2005, she thought she was too cool for Halloween, 5 00:00:25,011 --> 00:00:26,542 unlike Aunt Lily. 6 00:00:27,029 --> 00:00:28,786 Guess what came in the mail today? 7 00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:29,747 Our costumes? 8 00:00:29,814 --> 00:00:31,361 - Do they rule? - They rule. 9 00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:35,851 And yours is 100% wool, so you won't get hypothermia like last year. 10 00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:38,778 Tarzan nipples blue. 11 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:40,981 You know what I love about Halloween? 12 00:00:41,050 --> 00:00:45,143 It's the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. 13 00:00:45,405 --> 00:00:48,251 If a girl dresses up as a witch, she's a slutty witch. 14 00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:51,032 If she's a cat, she's a slutty cat. 15 00:00:51,205 --> 00:00:53,314 - If she's a nurse... - Wow, we get it. 16 00:00:54,523 --> 00:00:56,294 ...she's a slutty nurse. 17 00:00:56,950 --> 00:00:58,368 Robin, what are you doing for Halloween? 18 00:00:58,430 --> 00:00:59,745 Oh, I don't know. 19 00:00:59,807 --> 00:01:02,469 Probably hanging out with Mike, this guy I've been seeing. 20 00:01:02,536 --> 00:01:04,355 Mike? There's a Mike? 21 00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:06,596 You have a boyfriend and you haven't told us? 22 00:01:06,658 --> 00:01:07,933 No, I mean, he's not my boyfriend. 23 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,909 He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks. 24 00:01:10,985 --> 00:01:12,003 Boyfriend! 25 00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:13,514 So why haven't we met him? 26 00:01:13,577 --> 00:01:16,089 We're not really ready to go public yet. 27 00:01:16,340 --> 00:01:17,985 Married. 28 00:01:18,791 --> 00:01:21,148 How about we go on a Halloween double date? 29 00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:23,150 I don't know, we were kind of thinking about staying at home 30 00:01:23,206 --> 00:01:25,556 and dressing up as naked people. 31 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:29,135 Come on, Robin, trot out your new fella. 32 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:32,842 Let us judge and evaluate him behind your back. It'll be fun. 33 00:01:33,698 --> 00:01:35,280 Hey, Ted, you'll never guess what happened. 34 00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:37,446 - Your costumes came? - Our cost... Yes. 35 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,293 That is why we're best friends. 36 00:01:39,745 --> 00:01:41,417 Hey, Ted, what are you doing for Halloween? 37 00:01:41,474 --> 00:01:42,520 Well... 38 00:01:42,651 --> 00:01:43,564 What? 39 00:01:43,635 --> 00:01:46,568 Every Halloween, Ted waits for the Slutty Pumpkin. 40 00:01:46,579 --> 00:01:47,316 That's right. 41 00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:48,720 What's the "Slutty Pumpkin"? 42 00:01:48,771 --> 00:01:51,167 You mean who is the Slutty Pumpkin. 43 00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,118 It was four years ago... 44 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:55,694 I was at this Halloween party up on the roof of our building. 45 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,075 I'm about to call it an early night when out of nowhere 46 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:01,530 appeared this girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume. 47 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,210 Wait, how can a pumpkin costume be sexy? 48 00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:07,888 It was carved in strategic places. 49 00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:10,608 So, uh, we're at the bar, and I see her mix 50 00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:12,395 - Kahlua... - Kahlua and root beer. 51 00:02:12,452 --> 00:02:14,340 A cocktail she invented herself. 52 00:02:14,391 --> 00:02:16,265 And she called it... "The Tootsie Roll..." 53 00:02:16,327 --> 00:02:19,163 Because it tastes like an alcoholic Tootsie Roll. 54 00:02:19,251 --> 00:02:21,124 Hey! Can I please tell the story? 55 00:02:21,176 --> 00:02:22,988 So we had this instant connection. 56 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:24,745 She gave me her number, but then... 57 00:02:24,817 --> 00:02:27,780 - Something went terribly wrong. - Guys! 58 00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,268 Then something went terribly wrong. 59 00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:33,038 Happy Halloween. 60 00:02:34,226 --> 00:02:35,577 Sonny, where's Cher? 61 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:36,648 Cher? 62 00:02:36,725 --> 00:02:37,980 Right here, babe. 63 00:02:40,028 --> 00:02:41,908 I just met the perfect woman. 64 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:45,552 She's funny, she's beautiful, she loves Star Wars. 65 00:02:45,569 --> 00:02:47,402 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's her take on Ewoks? 66 00:02:47,452 --> 00:02:48,973 - Loves 'em. - Oh, good. 67 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,985 I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. 68 00:02:51,026 --> 00:02:53,553 The rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks. 69 00:02:53,618 --> 00:02:55,121 And get this: She's a marine biologist. 70 00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:57,283 She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins. 71 00:02:57,352 --> 00:02:58,701 Oh, penguins are cool. 72 00:02:58,751 --> 00:03:00,411 Kind of like black and white Ewoks. 73 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,660 I approve. 74 00:03:02,207 --> 00:03:04,727 Hey, where's my, uh, Kit-Kat? I put it right here on this table. 75 00:03:04,792 --> 00:03:06,712 I don't know, but we've plenty of chocolate here. 76 00:03:06,776 --> 00:03:09,110 No, no, you don't understand. I need that Kit-Kat-- 77 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:11,486 she wrote her nuer on that wrapper. Where is it? 78 00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:12,765 Uh-oh. 79 00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:17,532 Hey, Dracula! Come on, give me the... give me it! 80 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,484 Where's the Kit-Kat? 81 00:03:22,606 --> 00:03:24,368 Where's the Kit-Kat?! 82 00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:27,958 Never found her number, never saw her again. 83 00:03:28,018 --> 00:03:30,558 But every year, they have a Halloween party up on the roof, 84 00:03:30,614 --> 00:03:31,694 so that's where I'll be. 85 00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:33,480 You know, Ted, it's been four years. 86 00:03:33,536 --> 00:03:35,881 She could be engaged or married, 87 00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:38,867 or, God forbid, fat. 88 00:03:39,902 --> 00:03:41,453 I don't know, I got a feeling-- 89 00:03:41,504 --> 00:03:42,753 this could be the year. 90 00:03:42,812 --> 00:03:45,190 Halloween is a night of wonder and magic. 91 00:03:46,118 --> 00:03:48,498 All right, bring the mockery, fine, I can take it. 92 00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:50,071 But come on, wouldn't it be the coolest story ever 93 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,706 if the Slutty Pumpkin turned out to be my future wife? 94 00:03:53,855 --> 00:03:56,132 Oh, on the off-chance that that could happen, 95 00:03:56,173 --> 00:03:59,086 maybe we should stop calling her the Slutty Pumpkin. 96 00:03:59,145 --> 00:04:01,057 - That's a really good point. - That's a good idea. 97 00:04:01,857 --> 00:04:06,664 Ted, is your world ready to be rocked, rocked, rocked? 98 00:04:06,859 --> 00:04:08,163 Can't wait. 99 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,845 So... what do you think? 100 00:04:13,909 --> 00:04:15,491 So, what do you think? 101 00:04:16,904 --> 00:04:18,159 Wow. 102 00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:20,216 Marshall, are you wearing eyeliner? 103 00:04:20,284 --> 00:04:21,318 Oh, yeah. 104 00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:23,017 Weirdly hot, right? 105 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:26,668 We are so going to win the costume contest this year. 106 00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:29,648 First prize: $50 gift certificate at the bar. 107 00:04:29,699 --> 00:04:31,609 And how much did you pay for your costumes? 108 00:04:31,686 --> 00:04:32,807 $100. 109 00:04:32,874 --> 00:04:33,960 Each. 110 00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:37,256 Well, I think you guys look great. 111 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:38,453 What are you going as? 112 00:04:38,506 --> 00:04:40,681 Oh, like I even need to ask. 113 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:44,454 Hey, I want the Slutty Pumpkin to recognize me, and she knows me as... 114 00:04:44,563 --> 00:04:46,180 a hanging chad. 115 00:04:46,985 --> 00:04:48,608 What? She thought it was hilarious. 116 00:04:48,629 --> 00:04:52,981 Yeah, four years ago, but nobody remembers what the hell a hanging chad is. 117 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,979 What a sad commentary on our national attention span-- 118 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,278 that we could forget such a turbulent time in our political history. 119 00:05:00,051 --> 00:05:01,739 Sad commentary. 120 00:05:02,695 --> 00:05:04,229 All right, Polly got to pee. 121 00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:05,521 Again? 122 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:07,347 Where you going? 123 00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:09,881 It's an elaborate costume. 124 00:05:34,907 --> 00:05:38,108 No, no, not again, not this year. You're going as my wingman. 125 00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:39,244 Flight suit up. 126 00:05:39,644 --> 00:05:42,162 No thanks. I'm sticking with the hanging chad. 127 00:05:42,318 --> 00:05:43,858 Oh, you're dangerous, Maverick. 128 00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:46,668 Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash. 129 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,317 Okay. 130 00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,158 Here's the plan, and I crap you not. 131 00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:57,109 I'm getting us into the Victoria's Secret Halloween Party. 132 00:05:57,175 --> 00:06:01,184 Trust me, by the end of the night, your chad will not be hanging. 133 00:06:01,797 --> 00:06:04,000 We can get rejected by supermodels any night of the year. 134 00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,893 Tonight I'm going up to the roof, I'm going to have a few beers, 135 00:06:06,939 --> 00:06:08,511 I'm going to wait for the Slutty Pumpkin. 136 00:06:08,582 --> 00:06:09,929 It's just what I do. 137 00:06:10,185 --> 00:06:14,792 Hmm. Victoria's Secret models prancing around in bras and panties... 138 00:06:14,849 --> 00:06:19,503 or Yale preppies reuniting their stupid a capella group. 139 00:06:19,559 --> 00:06:20,487 What's that, left hand? 140 00:06:20,544 --> 00:06:22,668 "Right hand sucks"? Word. 141 00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:24,568 Heading up to the roof. 142 00:06:24,624 --> 00:06:26,519 Well, boys, looks like it's just the three of us. 143 00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:29,396 What's that? "Self five"? Nice. We out. 144 00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:33,554 Hey, Chad, how's it hanging? 145 00:06:33,599 --> 00:06:35,842 Hey, word play, funny. 146 00:06:36,523 --> 00:06:39,001 Whoo, nice outfit. 147 00:06:39,047 --> 00:06:41,171 - I'm a parrot. - You sure are. 148 00:06:41,904 --> 00:06:43,809 - Where's Mike? - He's meeting me here. 149 00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,113 I ran late covering the Halloween parade in the Village. 150 00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:48,954 There are, like, a zillion gay pirates this year. 151 00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,935 Seriously, does my eyeliner look okay? 152 00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,079 Yes, it's weirdly hot. 153 00:06:54,475 --> 00:06:56,163 So, where's your costume? 154 00:06:56,219 --> 00:06:58,862 Uh, you know, Mike and I joked about doing something together, 155 00:06:58,912 --> 00:07:01,329 but we decided not to dress up. 156 00:07:03,571 --> 00:07:04,690 Oh, geez. 157 00:07:04,704 --> 00:07:05,545 Hi. 158 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,995 Uh, everyone, this is Michael. 159 00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:10,059 That is not his real hair. 160 00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:12,600 Um, where's your costume, Gretel? 161 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,140 You thought I was... 162 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,615 Oh, I was just kidding. I've got to stop making jokes in e-mails. 163 00:07:17,657 --> 00:07:20,124 It's so hard to convey tone. 164 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,442 I think we got them beat. 165 00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:28,803 I can't believe you talked me into this. 166 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,632 I didn't. You followed me up here. 167 00:07:31,809 --> 00:07:33,688 This party sucks. 168 00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:36,053 There's seven chicks here. 169 00:07:37,098 --> 00:07:38,926 There's six chicks here. 170 00:07:39,724 --> 00:07:43,001 Relax. The night is young. It's going to get better. 171 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:47,724 Ladies and gentlemen, as on pitch as they were at Spring Fling '95, 172 00:07:47,789 --> 00:07:51,019 it's my pleasure to welcome back the Shaggarats. 173 00:08:13,465 --> 00:08:18,473 What be a pirate's favorite kind of sweater? 174 00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:20,559 Arr-gyle. 175 00:08:22,185 --> 00:08:29,072 And what be a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? 176 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,232 Arr-by's. 177 00:08:32,174 --> 00:08:35,011 'Twould think it would be Arby's. 178 00:08:35,119 --> 00:08:36,973 But, actually, it's Long John Silver's. 179 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,011 Actually, I kind of need this hand to eat. 180 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:41,907 Oh.. 181 00:08:44,805 --> 00:08:46,241 Oh, yeah. 182 00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:49,807 - Oh, thank you. - I'm starrr... ving! 183 00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:56,203 It's so nice to meet you, Mike. You guys are really cute together. 184 00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:58,559 Yeah, we've been spending a lot of time together. 185 00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:01,338 We're even getting to that point where we finish each other's... 186 00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:05,645 - This cheeseburger is so... - Good. See? 187 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:09,744 I think you won the dish-off tonight, baby. 188 00:09:09,818 --> 00:09:12,710 This steak totally bitch-slapped my pork chops. 189 00:09:13,539 --> 00:09:14,922 That may be true, 190 00:09:14,999 --> 00:09:19,049 but your rice pilaf kicked my spinach in the crotch so hard 191 00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:20,840 it threw up a little bit. 192 00:09:24,809 --> 00:09:27,235 Robin, you have to try this chicken. 193 00:09:27,312 --> 00:09:29,621 Oh, that's good, I'm okay, thanks. 194 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:31,316 It's really tasty. 195 00:09:31,388 --> 00:09:34,081 I'm just really feeling this cheeseburger. 196 00:09:35,351 --> 00:09:37,004 Come on, just try a little bite. 197 00:09:37,353 --> 00:09:39,743 Dude, I'm kind of in the zone here. 198 00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,597 Oh, for God's sakes. 199 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,108 Really tasty. 200 00:10:02,793 --> 00:10:03,588 Hey. 201 00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:04,929 Hey. 202 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:10,464 So what does a fella have to do to get lei'd around here? 203 00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:13,649 Yeah. 204 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:18,062 Right. 'Cause I'm wearing a lei. 205 00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:21,906 It isn't funny if you explain the joke. 206 00:10:24,473 --> 00:10:25,374 Let's bail. 207 00:10:25,449 --> 00:10:27,262 No, Barney, come on. I'm having fun. 208 00:10:27,329 --> 00:10:29,740 Plus, it's really great to see all these guys again. 209 00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:32,726 Name one person you know at this party. 210 00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:36,488 Well, there's Ninja, Back of Horse. 211 00:10:36,545 --> 00:10:39,417 Hey, where's Front of Horse? That guy's a riot-- where is he? 212 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:42,562 Okay, I'm leaving. 213 00:10:42,627 --> 00:10:45,905 But just know, that this Victoria Secret party is on a yacht. 214 00:10:45,976 --> 00:10:48,157 And what will be sticking to that yacht? 215 00:10:48,239 --> 00:10:49,730 The "Barnacle." 216 00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:51,686 Really? 217 00:10:51,839 --> 00:10:53,436 - That's your nickname now? - Yeah, the Barnacle. 218 00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:54,773 - The Barnacle? - That's it. 219 00:10:56,017 --> 00:10:57,338 Barnacle, out. 220 00:10:57,438 --> 00:10:58,946 Have fun, Barnacle. 221 00:11:01,925 --> 00:11:03,902 So... do you like Mike? 222 00:11:04,002 --> 00:11:05,499 Do you like Mike? 223 00:11:05,526 --> 00:11:07,384 Of course I do. Why? 224 00:11:07,527 --> 00:11:09,186 It just doesn't seem like it. 225 00:11:09,237 --> 00:11:11,698 You won't share your food, you won't wear a costume. 226 00:11:11,716 --> 00:11:15,351 Oh, Lily, you know me. I'm just not into all that coupley stuff. 227 00:11:15,402 --> 00:11:18,412 Okay, I know that stuff looks dumb from the outside, 228 00:11:18,647 --> 00:11:22,452 but it's kind of the greatest thing in the world when you're a part of it. 229 00:11:22,518 --> 00:11:24,873 If you just gave it a chance, you might like it. 230 00:11:24,946 --> 00:11:26,947 Are you trying to get me to join a cult? 231 00:11:27,792 --> 00:11:29,625 Robin, Mike likes you. 232 00:11:29,682 --> 00:11:32,536 If you don't start meeting him halfway, you're gonna lose him. 233 00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:33,572 What? 234 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:37,541 Look, it's Halloween. Just put on the girlfriend costume for a night. 235 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,740 Okay, well, what am I supposed to do, 236 00:11:41,129 --> 00:11:43,936 buy him a giant teddy bear or something? 237 00:11:44,192 --> 00:11:47,647 How about you start by sharing dessert? 238 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,763 I can share dessert. 239 00:11:49,829 --> 00:11:50,821 Good. 240 00:11:51,915 --> 00:11:53,719 He better want the brownie sundae, 241 00:11:53,817 --> 00:11:55,958 but yeah, yeah, I can totally share. 242 00:12:04,738 --> 00:12:05,511 Barney? 243 00:12:05,572 --> 00:12:06,475 What, you're back? 244 00:12:06,536 --> 00:12:07,410 That's right. 245 00:12:07,492 --> 00:12:09,213 In a totally new costume. 246 00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:12,372 Every Halloween I bring a spare costume, 247 00:12:12,434 --> 00:12:14,968 in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. 248 00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:18,372 That way I have a second chance to make a first impression. 249 00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:20,518 What's with the face? 250 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:22,935 It's half you're pathetic, half I have to pee. 251 00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:24,532 So go to the bathroom. 252 00:12:24,588 --> 00:12:27,313 No, there's a huge line. I don't want to miss the "Slutty Pumpkin." 253 00:12:27,373 --> 00:12:28,761 So pee off the roof. 254 00:12:28,844 --> 00:12:30,937 Ooh, Ted, pee off the roof. 255 00:12:31,009 --> 00:12:34,385 Whoa, I wouldn't do that if I were you, there's people walking down there. 256 00:12:34,456 --> 00:12:36,917 Come on, Ted, who you gonna listen to? 257 00:12:36,979 --> 00:12:39,534 Me, or Mr. Goody-Goody over there? 258 00:12:40,338 --> 00:12:42,478 Yeah, whatever, you guys got some weed? 259 00:12:43,573 --> 00:12:46,154 A little to the left, Marshall. 260 00:12:46,231 --> 00:12:47,501 Lily, squat down. 261 00:12:47,598 --> 00:12:49,303 This is gonna be a slaughter. 262 00:12:49,363 --> 00:12:53,203 None of these other costumes even come close to ourrr...s! 263 00:12:53,302 --> 00:12:54,556 Take the damn picture. 264 00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,188 Got it. 265 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,368 I still think we should have won as Sonny and Cher. 266 00:13:00,424 --> 00:13:02,882 Maybe if I'd worn the red dress. Huh. 267 00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:04,637 If I could turn back time. 268 00:13:06,942 --> 00:13:10,052 Wow, this sundae looks so good. I could eat the whole thing. 269 00:13:10,848 --> 00:13:16,056 But, um, I would much rather share this small, one-scoop sundae with you, Mike. 270 00:13:16,316 --> 00:13:18,407 Apple tart? Excellent choice, Lily-pad. 271 00:13:18,419 --> 00:13:20,325 Thanks, Marshmallow. 272 00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:24,759 Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi... Microwave Oven. 273 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,787 Let me guess. 274 00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:33,105 Every guy's used the lei'd line on you tonight, huh? 275 00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,789 You wouldn't believe. 276 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,679 I apologize for my gender. 277 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,942 Let me make it up to you-- make you a drink? 278 00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:41,421 You certainly are a charming devil. 279 00:13:42,184 --> 00:13:45,046 I'm also a "horny" devil. 280 00:13:45,636 --> 00:13:46,729 Yeah. 281 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:49,869 No. 282 00:13:54,287 --> 00:13:55,715 Oh, go to hell. 283 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,882 You know, if you guys like tiramisu, we found this little Italian place... 284 00:14:03,933 --> 00:14:04,896 No, you found it. 285 00:14:04,973 --> 00:14:06,380 I came with you. 286 00:14:06,686 --> 00:14:07,584 Go on. 287 00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,404 I'm just saying, we love tiramisu. 288 00:14:10,646 --> 00:14:12,161 I cannot get enough of it. 289 00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,693 We're crazy for the stuff. 290 00:14:13,795 --> 00:14:16,200 I'm crazy, and you're crazy... 291 00:14:16,872 --> 00:14:18,253 ...for tiramisu. 292 00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:19,607 Right. 293 00:14:19,678 --> 00:14:21,321 We love tiramisu. 294 00:14:21,501 --> 00:14:22,745 Am I wrong saying that? 295 00:14:22,806 --> 00:14:25,944 No, no, no. I mean, it just sounds a little bit weird. Doesn't it? 296 00:14:26,012 --> 00:14:27,526 We love tiramisu? 297 00:14:27,599 --> 00:14:29,478 Isn't really a group activity. 298 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,918 Loving tiramisu? 299 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,340 Right? 300 00:14:35,202 --> 00:14:38,653 So this Italian place, how is their cannoli? 301 00:14:40,116 --> 00:14:42,083 Easy there, hungry. 302 00:14:46,361 --> 00:14:49,798 Yeah, looks like we're both hungry. 303 00:14:50,025 --> 00:14:52,804 - Hey, is that Gary Oldman? - Wait... where? 304 00:14:55,954 --> 00:14:57,192 I don't see... 305 00:15:03,106 --> 00:15:04,391 Brain freeze. 306 00:15:07,027 --> 00:15:09,592 - Okay, Victoria Secret party, right now. - Nope. 307 00:15:09,654 --> 00:15:13,791 Come on. I can't stand watching my delusional friend waste another precious Halloween. 308 00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:16,136 Ted, the "Slutty Pumpkin" is not coming. 309 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:17,415 She might. 310 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,052 Come on, Barney, this is not about the odds. It's about believing. 311 00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:24,819 This girl, she... she represents something to me. I don't know. 312 00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:26,054 Hope. 313 00:15:27,395 --> 00:15:28,383 Wow. 314 00:15:29,249 --> 00:15:32,069 I did not understand a word you just said. 315 00:15:33,611 --> 00:15:37,687 Lingerie models on a boat! 316 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,336 See ya. 317 00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,782 No. See ya. 318 00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:43,893 Ow! 319 00:15:46,673 --> 00:15:48,495 Want to drink the melty part? 320 00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,188 You know what? It's getting late. 321 00:15:51,506 --> 00:15:52,677 I think I'm gonna take off. 322 00:15:54,392 --> 00:15:55,457 Hey. 323 00:15:56,062 --> 00:16:00,071 I thought we were gonna follow those bread crumbs back to my place, Hansel. 324 00:16:00,099 --> 00:16:02,738 Robin, I don't get the sense you like being with me. 325 00:16:02,746 --> 00:16:04,028 I like being with you. 326 00:16:04,036 --> 00:16:05,923 Not as much as you like being alone. 327 00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:06,819 You like... 328 00:16:06,887 --> 00:16:10,104 eating your own food, sleeping in your own bed, doing your own crosswords. 329 00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:11,997 Who uses ink? 330 00:16:13,052 --> 00:16:13,905 Sorry. 331 00:16:14,157 --> 00:16:18,351 Okay, I'm a bit set in my ways, that doesn't mean that this won't work. 332 00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:20,423 Actually, it kind of does. 333 00:16:20,971 --> 00:16:22,832 Wait, are we breaking up? 334 00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:25,826 No, we aren't breaking up. 335 00:16:25,908 --> 00:16:28,841 I'm breaking up with you. 336 00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:35,752 And then just as I was about to lose hope... 337 00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:44,005 She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins. 338 00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,376 Kahlua, root beer... 339 00:16:47,449 --> 00:16:50,586 Could this penguin be the "Slutty Pumpkin?" 340 00:16:56,699 --> 00:16:58,137 Uh, excuse me. 341 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,298 This is going to sound crazy, but 342 00:17:00,381 --> 00:17:03,386 I met someone up on this roof four years ago, and 343 00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:06,940 they mixed that cocktail, and-and they loved penguins. 344 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,404 By any chance, was that you? 345 00:17:12,494 --> 00:17:13,738 It's you. 346 00:17:14,808 --> 00:17:18,213 - Everyone thought I was crazy, but I came... - You are such a loser. 347 00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:21,152 Come on, I came back for you, Ted. 348 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,797 I penguin-suited up to show you the ror of your ways. 349 00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:28,028 And to score Hula Girl's number. Check and check. 350 00:17:28,075 --> 00:17:30,573 - Unbelievable. - Yes, it is. 351 00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:34,680 Wait a minute. You're that lame army guy. 352 00:17:34,731 --> 00:17:38,136 What? No, No, that's some other guy, and he was a kick-ass fighter pilot. 353 00:17:38,199 --> 00:17:39,596 I cannot believe I gave you my number. 354 00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:40,862 Yeah, well, you did. Thanks. 355 00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:41,887 Yeah. Well, give it back. 356 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,241 Well, uh, I don't think so. I earned it, fair and square. I'm calling you. 357 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,811 But I'm never gonna go out with you. 358 00:17:47,878 --> 00:17:49,630 But how will you know it's me? 359 00:17:49,691 --> 00:17:51,836 I'm a master of disguise. 360 00:17:52,425 --> 00:17:53,440 Yeah. 361 00:17:57,507 --> 00:17:58,646 Nice. 362 00:17:59,048 --> 00:18:01,964 Come on, Ted. Victoria Secret party, now, let's go. 363 00:18:02,097 --> 00:18:03,443 I'm staying. 364 00:18:03,535 --> 00:18:04,606 Fine! 365 00:18:05,012 --> 00:18:06,228 Fine... 366 00:18:06,339 --> 00:18:07,385 What are you doing? 367 00:18:07,616 --> 00:18:09,721 I'm flippering you off. 368 00:18:13,863 --> 00:18:15,845 Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. 369 00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:20,989 Seriously, it's not a big deal. He wanted to be a we, and I wanted to be an I. 370 00:18:21,082 --> 00:18:23,038 Dudes are such chicks. 371 00:18:24,807 --> 00:18:26,105 You guys, I'm fine. 372 00:18:26,811 --> 00:18:29,730 Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. 373 00:18:29,797 --> 00:18:33,473 And the winners of this year's costume contest are... 374 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,489 Lily Aldren as a parrot, 375 00:18:35,556 --> 00:18:37,677 and Marshall Erikson as a gay pirate! 376 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:38,834 Oh, yeah! 377 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:39,826 Wait, what did he say? 378 00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:41,542 Oh, who cares, Marshall? We won! 379 00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:44,460 Wait. Gay pirate-- where are you getting that from? 380 00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,093 Dude, you're wearing eyeliner. 381 00:18:46,149 --> 00:18:50,113 Okay. I just want everybody here to know I'm not a gay pirate. 382 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,007 I have sex with my parrot all the time. 383 00:18:52,053 --> 00:18:53,619 That came out wrong. 384 00:18:54,797 --> 00:18:57,690 Oh, yeah, doesn't matter. We won! 385 00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:01,003 - I love you, marshmallow. - I love you, too, Lily Pad. 386 00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:03,035 You guys, let me get a picture. 387 00:19:17,971 --> 00:19:20,070 I had a feeling I'd find you here. 388 00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:21,284 Oh, hey. 389 00:19:21,667 --> 00:19:25,099 If you're here for the Shaggarats, you just missed the fourth encore. 390 00:19:25,595 --> 00:19:28,528 I never played any team sports. 391 00:19:29,087 --> 00:19:32,706 Are we playing "I never"? 'Cause there's nothing left but peach schnapps. 392 00:19:33,822 --> 00:19:35,595 I played tennis in high school. 393 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,730 You know why? 394 00:19:36,791 --> 00:19:40,365 Because it was just me out there. I couldn't even stand playing doubles. 395 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,439 I just got dumped. 396 00:19:43,996 --> 00:19:46,069 Oh, man, that sucks. 397 00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:47,780 Yeah. It's okay. 398 00:19:47,832 --> 00:19:49,399 I wasn't that into him. 399 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,959 Story of my life. 400 00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:54,042 Everyone else is off falling in love and acting stupid 401 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:57,656 and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me. 402 00:19:58,224 --> 00:19:59,982 Why don't I want that more? 403 00:20:00,052 --> 00:20:01,972 I want to want that. 404 00:20:02,254 --> 00:20:04,421 Am I wired wrong or something? 405 00:20:04,543 --> 00:20:05,694 No. 406 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:10,041 Look, you didn't want to be with me, so, clearly, you have abysmal taste in men. 407 00:20:11,264 --> 00:20:13,734 But you're wired just fine. 408 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:18,367 Well, what if I'm just a... a cold person? 409 00:20:18,905 --> 00:20:23,179 Tonight Mike was willing to look like a complete idiot for me, but 410 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,776 I couldn't be Gretel. 411 00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,744 Why can't I be Gretel? 412 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,620 Because you just haven't met the right Hansel yet. 413 00:20:29,715 --> 00:20:33,962 Hey, one day, you're gonna meet a guy who's gonna make you want to look like a complete idiot. 414 00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:34,925 Really? 415 00:20:34,991 --> 00:20:37,080 Yeah. He's out there somewhere. 416 00:20:37,147 --> 00:20:40,495 - Just like the Slutty Pumpkin... Pumpkin, pumpkin... 417 00:20:41,857 --> 00:20:43,803 How do you do this, Ted? 418 00:20:44,171 --> 00:20:47,428 How do you sit out here all night on the roof in the cold, 419 00:20:47,475 --> 00:20:50,413 and still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up? 420 00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:52,764 Well, I'm pretty drunk. 421 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,558 Look, I know that odds are, the love of my life isn't gonna magically walk through that door 422 00:20:59,598 --> 00:21:04,231 in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning, but 423 00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:07,900 this seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, 424 00:21:08,563 --> 00:21:09,992 sit and wait.